I don't get people

[Axel]

My friend, who was supposed to be my roommate next year, decided to drop out of college to join the navy. My friend is an eye-makeup wearing emo gay kid with a serious heart condition which leaves him prone to pass out at random times. He is also manic depressive, and takes it out through borderline behavior like having lots of sex, getting drunk every day of the week, and smoking. When he went to college this past year he never went to class. He slept in all day long and did nothing.

I only chose him as my roommate because I would rather room with him than be stuck with a random person. That said, I still care about the guy.

I wish I understand people's motivations sometimes. I would ask him why but I don't feel comfortable enough asking him. Moreover, he's so evasive and so passive that I don't think I could ever get a straight answer out of him.

Well, that's my predicament. Looks like I get a random person now.

[diddy]

yeah, there are a lot of guys like that in this world! people just don't have real life valuables! all the meaning in life that they have is some illusions, some emo stuff or whatever, i don't get people like this too! my life aims are, for example, graduate form university(done with 5 mark for the goverment exam and 5 for diploma), create family (almost done, i'm getting married in 08.08.08), buy a nice car, build a house (we now bought an apartment), grow up a son!
i think most part of the normal people has such aims!

[Axel]

yeah, there are a lot of guys like that in this world! people just don't have real life valuables! all the meaning in life that they have is some illusions, some emo stuff or whatever, i don't get people like this too! my life aims are, for example, graduate form university(done with 5 mark for the goverment exam and 5 for diploma), create family (almost done, i'm getting married in 08.08.08), buy a nice car, build a house (we now bought an apartment), grow up a son!
i think most part of the normal people has such aims!

Lucky. Congrats.

[PiksS]

diddy, are you inviting me to the wedding? I promise, i will behave, i just want to congratulate you, not that i'm into the tasty food or in that expenesive variety of alcohol.

Back to the thread.....why are you scared to askim why he is joining the navy?.....

[diddy]

Axel, thanks PiksS, off course, man! c ya in Russia, Tver is the largest city on the main highway between St.Petersburg and Moscow! if u're coming, send me a pm! and don't think i'm joking, we're gonna get drunk as hell!

[PiksS]

i actually would go, but there is one fucking problem!.....i need a visa, and it takes a lot of time to make one!....also if went by car the russian border is harsh as hell, but by train is a death for me!

[diddy]

yeah, those problems are killing me too!

[Axel]

Back to the thread.....why are you scared to askim why he is joining the navy?.....

Not scared at all. He's just one of those people who won't give you a straight answer. He has a lot of internal conflicts and keeps a lot of his problems to himself (even though you can tell when he is troubled).

[PiksS]

Back to the thread.....why are you scared to askim why he is joining the navy?.....

Not scared at all. He's just one of those people who won't give you a straight answer. He has a lot of internal conflicts and keeps a lot of his problems to himself (even though you can tell when he is troubled).

do as me and my friends, we often also don't speak about real issues, just making acouple of jokes, but when we are like sitting in a flat, just as and get some drink why we play cards, and when we get tipsy we start to talk about the issues we are having!.....sounds lame, but it really does the trick, it's the time when u really understand you have a friend on whose shoulder you can cry!

[Andrew]

Sorry to hear it Axel. All you can do is try to look out for your friends as best you can but at the end of the day, they're going to choose their own path and live with whatever consequences come their way. Perhaps the discipline and organisation he'll encounter in military service will be just what he needs to get his head on straight. It sucks that he seems to have left you in the lurch though.

A friend of mine who I'd grown up with hung himself earlier this year and to this day, we're all trying to figure out why. The usual things you might expect a 21 year old to commit suicide - a bad breakup, heavy drug usage, poverty - certainly weren't factors. We have our suspicions that he might have been manic depressive or bipolar but it's just a theory roughly pieced together from "signs" we might be making too much out of and frankly, it doesn't really matter because knowing won't change what happened.

He's one of the last people I'd ever have expected to take their own lives though and having not seen him as much the last few years I now wish I would have made more of an effort to catch up (he was younger than me so I was out of school before him and we had different circles of friends as well). Still, if his family (whom he was very close to), his girlfriend and the friends he hung around with all the time didn't notice anything wrong, I doubt I would have even having known him since we were kids. I'd still be wondering what in the world possessed him to do it.

Getting back to your friend Axel, maybe he is just looking for some direction in his life or something like that. If he's a good mate and you're that concerned about him, you should at least try to pick his brain and level with him. Even if he remains guarded about it, at least you tried. You can't be his minder, if he's not going to level with you then you can only hope he knows what he's doing and it will all work out for him.

[Axel]

Thanks for the advice Andrew. I chose to level with him through a facebook message. I prefer face to face conversations but unfortunately he lives 5 hours from my home. We only came together for school.

We weren't great friends by any stretch, but we were getting closer as this past year went along. I had high expectations for this year with the hopes of us becoming good friends. Aside from my relationship, I don't have a whole lot of close support at my university (it's so difficult to maintain both).

I hope he has made the decision he feels is best for him. I know I worry about him. The military is a dangerous place for a guy like him. People get hazed and taken advantage of all the time.

[Dramacydal]

From what I read it seems your "friend" will be dead soon so don't waste too many thoughts on him. The problem will be gone soon. One pathetic life more or less doesn't make a difference anyways.

[Andrew]

Thanks for the advice Andrew. I chose to level with him through a facebook message. I prefer face to face conversations but unfortunately he lives 5 hours from my home. We only came together for school.

You're welcome. If nothing else, you've given it a shot. Hopefully whatever he does next will work out for him.

[shadowgrin]

From what I read it seems your "friend" will be dead soon so don't waste too many thoughts on him. The problem will be gone soon. One pathetic life more or less doesn't make a difference anyways.

I like the way dramacydal thinks.

yeah, there are a lot of guys like that in this world! people just don't have real life valuables! all the meaning in life that they have is some illusions, some emo stuff or whatever, i don't get people like this too!

i think most part of the normal people has such aims!

That's just judgemental.
How sure are you that your valuable life aims are also of the same aim and value to others?
What if he has already reached what he wants with his life, who are you to say that he needs to do more?
What if because he already reached that plateau that he's just at a crossroads on what to aim for next?
Not everyone dreams of "graduate form university, create family, buy a nice car, build a house, grow up a son" as life aims.
Labeling those generic aim of yours as applicable to "normal people" smacks of closed-mindedness.