The Laugh It Up Thread
by Ruff Ryder on Sat Dec 23, 2006 2:30 am
'Retired'
"You can’t drive a knife into a man’s back nine inches, pull it out six inches, and call it progress."-Malcolm X
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Ruff Ryder - Posts: 5996
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by Oznogrd on Sat Dec 23, 2006 11:24 am
Removed story because im older and realized posting personal family crap isnt a great decision
Last edited by Oznogrd on Tue Aug 16, 2011 4:12 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Oznogrd - Gummy bears are stupid and delicious!
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by shadowgrin on Mon Dec 25, 2006 10:38 am
"Iron My Shirt Bitch" 
That "Mexican Asian Crackers" one reminds me of the times I go to the supermarket. It has "Jugs" being sold.
Reminds me of boobies, not the NLSC poster.
That "Mexican Asian Crackers" one reminds me of the times I go to the supermarket. It has "Jugs" being sold.
Reminds me of boobies, not the NLSC poster.
- shadowgrin
- Doesn't negotiate with terrorists. NLSC's Jefferson Davis. The Questioneer
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by bigh0rt on Fri Dec 29, 2006 4:52 pm
20 WORDS THAT DON'T EXIST -- BUT SHOULD!!
1. ACCORDIONATED (ah kor' de on ay tid) adj.
Being able to drive and re fold a road map at the same time.
2. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus) adj.
Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.
3. AQUALIBRIUM (ak wa bib' re um) n.
The point where the stream of drinking fountain water is at its perfect height, thus relieving the drinker from (a) having to suck the nozzle, or
squirting himself in the eye (or ear).
4. BURGACIDE (burg' uh side) n.
When a hamburger can't take any more torture and hurls itself through he grill into the coals.
5. BUZZACKS (buz' aks) n.
People in phone marts who walk around picking up display phones and listening for dial tones even when they know the phones are not connected.
6. CARPERPETUATION (kar' pur pet u a shun) n.
The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.
7. DIMP (dimp) n.
A person who insults you in a cheap department store by asking, "Do you work here?"
8. DISCONFECT (dis kon fect') v.
To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, somehow assuming this will remove all the germs.
9. ECNALUBMA (ek na leb' ma) n.
A rescue vehicle which can only be seen in the rear view mirror.
10. EIFFELITES (eye' ful eyetz) n.
Gangly people sitting in front of you at the movies who, no matter which direction you lean in, follow suit.
11. ELBONICS (el bon icks') n.
The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.
12. ELECELLERATON (el a cel er ay' shun) n.
The mistaken notion that the more you press an elevator button the faster it will arrive.
13. FRUST (frust) n.
The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.
14. LACTOMANGULATION (lak to man gyu lay' shun) v.
Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the illegal side.
15. NEONPHANCY (ne on' fan see) n.
A fluorescent light bulb struggling to come to life.
16. PEPPIER (pehp ee ay') n.
The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper.
17. PETROPHOBIC (pet ro fob' ik) adj.
One who is embarrassed to undress in front of a household pet.
18. PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n.
The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.
19. PUPKUS (pup kus') n.
The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses it nose to it.
20. TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n.
The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, when you're only six inches away.
Contributed by: David Olsen
1. ACCORDIONATED (ah kor' de on ay tid) adj.
Being able to drive and re fold a road map at the same time.
2. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus) adj.
Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.
3. AQUALIBRIUM (ak wa bib' re um) n.
The point where the stream of drinking fountain water is at its perfect height, thus relieving the drinker from (a) having to suck the nozzle, or
squirting himself in the eye (or ear).
4. BURGACIDE (burg' uh side) n.
When a hamburger can't take any more torture and hurls itself through he grill into the coals.
5. BUZZACKS (buz' aks) n.
People in phone marts who walk around picking up display phones and listening for dial tones even when they know the phones are not connected.
6. CARPERPETUATION (kar' pur pet u a shun) n.
The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.
7. DIMP (dimp) n.
A person who insults you in a cheap department store by asking, "Do you work here?"
8. DISCONFECT (dis kon fect') v.
To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, somehow assuming this will remove all the germs.
9. ECNALUBMA (ek na leb' ma) n.
A rescue vehicle which can only be seen in the rear view mirror.
10. EIFFELITES (eye' ful eyetz) n.
Gangly people sitting in front of you at the movies who, no matter which direction you lean in, follow suit.
11. ELBONICS (el bon icks') n.
The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.
12. ELECELLERATON (el a cel er ay' shun) n.
The mistaken notion that the more you press an elevator button the faster it will arrive.
13. FRUST (frust) n.
The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.
14. LACTOMANGULATION (lak to man gyu lay' shun) v.
Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the illegal side.
15. NEONPHANCY (ne on' fan see) n.
A fluorescent light bulb struggling to come to life.
16. PEPPIER (pehp ee ay') n.
The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper.
17. PETROPHOBIC (pet ro fob' ik) adj.
One who is embarrassed to undress in front of a household pet.
18. PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n.
The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.
19. PUPKUS (pup kus') n.
The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses it nose to it.
20. TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n.
The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, when you're only six inches away.
Contributed by: David Olsen
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bigh0rt - NLSC Team Member
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- Joined: Thu Nov 10, 2005 5:06 pm
- Location: New York
by bigh0rt on Fri Dec 29, 2006 5:24 pm
HER DIARY VS HIS DIARY
HER DIARY
Tonight I thought he was acting weird.
We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink.
I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was
upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment.
Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet
so we could talk. He agreed but he kept quiet and absent.
I asked him what was wrong; he said nothing.
I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had
nothing to do with me and not to worry.
On the way home I told him that I loved him. He simply smiled & kept driving.
I can't explain his behavior.
I don't know why he didn't say I love you too.
When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing
to do with me anymore.
He just sat there and watched TV. He seemed distant and absent.
Finally, I decided to go to bed.
About 10 minutes later he came to bed, and to my surprise he
responded to my caress and we made love, but I still felt that he was
distracted & his thoughts were somewhere else.
He fell asleep - I cried. I don't know what to do.
I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else.
My life is a disaster.
HIS DIARY
I shot the worst round of golf in my life today,
but at least I got laid.
HER DIARY
Tonight I thought he was acting weird.
We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink.
I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was
upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment.
Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet
so we could talk. He agreed but he kept quiet and absent.
I asked him what was wrong; he said nothing.
I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had
nothing to do with me and not to worry.
On the way home I told him that I loved him. He simply smiled & kept driving.
I can't explain his behavior.
I don't know why he didn't say I love you too.
When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing
to do with me anymore.
He just sat there and watched TV. He seemed distant and absent.
Finally, I decided to go to bed.
About 10 minutes later he came to bed, and to my surprise he
responded to my caress and we made love, but I still felt that he was
distracted & his thoughts were somewhere else.
He fell asleep - I cried. I don't know what to do.
I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else.
My life is a disaster.
HIS DIARY
I shot the worst round of golf in my life today,
but at least I got laid.
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bigh0rt - NLSC Team Member
- Posts: 9032
- Joined: Thu Nov 10, 2005 5:06 pm
- Location: New York
by shadowgrin on Tue Jan 02, 2007 1:28 am
AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus) adj.
Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.
I can do that.
Even change TV channels, pick up things on the floor with my feet and other things.
Don't ask why, it was a lazy phase in my life.
- shadowgrin
- Doesn't negotiate with terrorists. NLSC's Jefferson Davis. The Questioneer
- Posts: 23229
- Joined: Thu Dec 12, 2002 6:21 am
- Location: In your mind
by Christopherson on Sat Jan 06, 2007 11:02 am
I really don't get what is so funny about the "1337" picture and the last one either.
Go Zags!
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Christopherson - Posts: 610
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by Joe' on Sat Jan 06, 2007 12:15 pm
JaoSming wrote:(|-|.-1570p|-|3.-50|\| 4|\||) 'j03' .- |\|07 42 |_337 42 |\/|3|-|, |\/|U4|-|4|-|4
b1207(|-|32
As far as I'm not a noob it's all good...
Dear Old World, you represent everything that's wrong...
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Joe' - Sir Psycho Sexy
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