DoobieKnicks presents : My Poetry.

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DoobieKnicks presents : My Poetry.

Postby Doobie on Thu Sep 01, 2005 10:20 am

Well not many people knew this about me ,but I like to write poetry . I am deciding to share it with you guys in the NLCS . Like it or not , post your opinions , because some of these are the deepest thoughts inside of me.I'm writing down one , they are in the form of a rap verse , 16 bars . But it's not rap unless you call it that way , its raw poetry . I have a book full of it at my aunt's house , so I'll write down the rest lately . This thread will be updated constantly.Not all of them have titles.

When life looks down upon me
I always look up to try and see
should i stay here or leave?
Or should I stay and wonder who to believe?

Life hands me lies
Breaking up my family ties
Night time comes and my mom always cries
Shes tired of all my bullshits and lies

I am sorry to hurt everyone
but i used to think life was all about fun
I guess I'm not the only one
who wants me to pull the trigger on this gun

I don't have weapons , I dont have fears
I'm tired of causing everyone all those tears
I've been a burden to life for many years
so good-bye to everyone because my end is near.
Last edited by Doobie on Thu Sep 01, 2005 10:27 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby cyanide on Thu Sep 01, 2005 10:25 am

DoobieKnicks wrote:but I like to right poetry


If you can't get that write, then you can't right! ;)

That's not too bad, but I hope it doesn't actually reflect what's really on your mind :shock:
if you were killed tomorrow, i WOULDNT GO 2 UR FUNERAL CUZ ID B N JAIL 4 KILLIN THE MOTHA FUCKER THAT KILLED U!
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Postby Jackal_ on Thu Sep 01, 2005 10:25 am

I think poetry sucks balls...sucks balls harder than anything I could possibly imagine. Poetry sucks balls up there with figure skating. :)
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Postby Doobie on Thu Sep 01, 2005 10:26 am

I wrote that when i was going through a depression . everything i talk about when I write , comes from what i believe or thought . I dont think that way anmore
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Postby Jona on Thu Sep 01, 2005 10:29 am

As Cy, I seriously hope what's on paper isn't the same as what's happening in real life.

You don't use any metrics, do you? It might look neater if you used some, maybe you could try it someday. (Y)
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Postby cyanide on Thu Sep 01, 2005 10:29 am

Legend, you're just jealous cuz you don't know jack about poetry :) Personally, I don't do poetry because it's way, way too tough for me to do and analyze, but I admire those who excell at it.

Jona wrote:You don't use any metrics, do you? It might look neater if you used some, maybe you could try it someday


You mean the short, long, short, long etc. syllabic pattern?
Last edited by cyanide on Thu Sep 01, 2005 10:33 am, edited 1 time in total.
if you were killed tomorrow, i WOULDNT GO 2 UR FUNERAL CUZ ID B N JAIL 4 KILLIN THE MOTHA FUCKER THAT KILLED U!
......|..___________________, ,
....../ `---______----|]
...../==o;;;;;;;;______.:/
.....), ---.(_(__) /
....// (..) ), ----"
...//___//
..//___//
.//___//
WE TRUE HOMIES
WE RIDE TOGETHER
WE DIE TOGETHER
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Postby Jackal_ on Thu Sep 01, 2005 10:32 am

cyanide wrote:Legend, you're just jealous cuz you don't know jack about poetry :) Personally, I don't do poetry because it's way, way too tough for me to do and analyze, but I admire those who excell at it.


Just cuz you can recite "Penny From Heaven" doesn't make you much better :) You also admire men.
Preparation will only take you so far. After that you've got to take a few leaps of faith.
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Postby cyanide on Thu Sep 01, 2005 10:34 am

Legend wrote:Just cuz you can recite "Penny From Heaven" doesn't make you much better :) You also admire men.


Look who's talking. I don't have a rippling sexy black male in my sig.
if you were killed tomorrow, i WOULDNT GO 2 UR FUNERAL CUZ ID B N JAIL 4 KILLIN THE MOTHA FUCKER THAT KILLED U!
......|..___________________, ,
....../ `---______----|]
...../==o;;;;;;;;______.:/
.....), ---.(_(__) /
....// (..) ), ----"
...//___//
..//___//
.//___//
WE TRUE HOMIES
WE RIDE TOGETHER
WE DIE TOGETHER
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Postby Its_asdf on Thu Sep 01, 2005 10:36 am

I don't have a rippling sexy black male in my sig.


It's funny that you see Ray Allen in that way, Cy. :P
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Postby Jackal_ on Thu Sep 01, 2005 10:38 am

cyanide wrote:
Legend wrote:Just cuz you can recite "Penny From Heaven" doesn't make you much better :) You also admire men.


Look who's talking. I don't have a rippling sexy black male in my sig.


You're the one who said he's sexy..
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Postby cyanide on Thu Sep 01, 2005 10:40 am

Its_asdf wrote:
I don't have a rippling sexy black male in my sig.


It's funny that you see Ray Allen in that way, Cy. :P


Actually, I heard Legend moan it out while he locked himself in his computer room.
if you were killed tomorrow, i WOULDNT GO 2 UR FUNERAL CUZ ID B N JAIL 4 KILLIN THE MOTHA FUCKER THAT KILLED U!
......|..___________________, ,
....../ `---______----|]
...../==o;;;;;;;;______.:/
.....), ---.(_(__) /
....// (..) ), ----"
...//___//
..//___//
.//___//
WE TRUE HOMIES
WE RIDE TOGETHER
WE DIE TOGETHER
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Postby Jackal_ on Thu Sep 01, 2005 10:40 am

cyanide wrote:
Its_asdf wrote:
I don't have a rippling sexy black male in my sig.


It's funny that you see Ray Allen in that way, Cy. :P


Actually, I heard Legend moan it out while he locked himself in his computer room.


No Comment. Stop Spamming.
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Postby Jona on Thu Sep 01, 2005 11:07 am

LOL, busted, huh Legened? :P
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Postby Jackal_ on Thu Sep 01, 2005 11:21 am

Sadly enough yes lol.
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Postby COOLmac© on Thu Sep 01, 2005 12:18 pm

here's some of mac's poetry

everyday is a sunshine
till the day i met you
you were my biggest scare
a nightmare come true

when i look unto your face
i couldn't help but frown
somehow someway
you always bring me down

but lately i notice
you were not the shit you were
radiant and blooming
you become great very super

but before i came
and try to take you away
you were already gone
i'm left with your yesterday

damn it to hell
i wish i could look back
take you home with me
rock you inside my sack

but those days are all gone
say goodbye you did to me
if only earlier i knew
if only earlier i see


:mrgreen: :mrgreen:

i'm a big song writer myself before as you can see....



okay i suck :cry:
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Postby The Other Kevin on Thu Sep 01, 2005 12:47 pm

:crazy: What is that?
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Postby COOLmac© on Thu Sep 01, 2005 1:11 pm

here's some of mac's poetry
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coolmac's weekly random lyrics #23 I'm dumb she's a lesbian. i thought i have found the one
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Postby Bang on Thu Sep 01, 2005 2:39 pm

I write poems a lot too. I usually try to do something epic like T.S. Eliot, but T.S. Eliot is a one of a kind genius. I usually don't like rhyming, unless I have some purpose to rhyming. Anyhow here's one:

Rhapsody of the Silent
by Bang

All the seas, in every quarter,
are as brothers to one another,
Why then, do the winds and waves of strife
rage so turbulently throughout the world?

Turn to the seas and you shall see
The sea of lies that lies beneath.
Tell me where to find the tree
and I shall say it lies beneath.

Tell me oh master
What is what lies beneath?
Only the words of the dead can mutter
what lies await our dear lives.

All the seas, in every quarter,
are as brothers to one another,
Why then, do the winds and waves of strife
rage so turbulently throughout myself?

The tender strokes of the ocean
Beckon a new beginning.

Must we darken the Red Sea?
The beautifully reddened
pool of blood that cries out
"The sakuras now fall down"

Come a season
Go a season.
Tell me what reason
Is this treason.

The fury of the Ancients call upon the Magi
Protector, do thy deed.
Yet is it enough?
For all we need?

All the seas, in every quarter,
are as furious to one another,
So then, the winds and waves of red tears
rage so turbulently throughout myself.
Bored.
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Postby The GOAT on Thu Sep 01, 2005 3:27 pm

I write poetry for school but I'm not even gonna bother posting it. I got second place in the country in a contest though, so I'm not that bad.
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Postby J@3 on Thu Sep 01, 2005 3:55 pm

I write poetry.

A Dog.
A Red Dog.
A Red Dog Lost.
A Red Dog Found.
Found By A Filipino.
A Red Dog Eaten.
A Red Dog.
A Dog.

*clicks fingers*
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Postby Mentally Hilarious on Thu Sep 01, 2005 8:19 pm

Every shithead who picks up a pencil or a keyboard and jots down something more or less coherent is not a poet. T.S Eliot was a poet. Some shit about I'm-15-and-my-life-is-so-hard-because-noone-in-my-suburb-understands-me-and-I-really-like-staind is not poetry.

Being pathetic in public is an artform neither here grasps. Me included. So stop it. Damn.

on the other hand you should use any means of artistic and creative expression to soothe your senses. So I don't know. Ohgodohgodohgod why did I drink so much yesterday?

Oh, and I have tickets to Sigur Ròs. Go me.
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Postby The X on Thu Sep 01, 2005 8:47 pm

Jae wrote:I write poetry.

A Dog.
A Red Dog.
A Red Dog Lost.
A Red Dog Found.
Found By A Filipino.
A Red Dog Eaten.
A Red Dog.
A Dog.

*clicks fingers*

luvin' it Jae, luvin' it :lol:

here's one I did on the spot back when I worked in a supermarket when I was at uni....don't know if I stole it, but I'll claim it....

They say the eyes are the pathway to the soul,
But how come everytime I look into your eyes I get lost?

:lol: very cheesey and not really poetry....girls lapped it up, even if the cheese was melting off it :mrgreen:
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Postby Fenix on Thu Sep 01, 2005 10:03 pm

Legend wrote:Look who's talking. I don't have a rippling sexy black male in my sig.

Shouldn't I supposed to say that :lol:? I mean, at least I thought that's my role around here.
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Postby Bang on Thu Sep 01, 2005 10:31 pm

Habakkuk wrote:Every shithead who picks up a pencil or a keyboard and jots down something more or less coherent is not a poet. T.S Eliot was a poet. Some shit about I'm-15-and-my-life-is-so-hard-because-noone-in-my-suburb-understands-me-and-I-really-like-staind is not poetry.

Being pathetic in public is an artform neither here grasps. Me included. So stop it. Damn.

on the other hand you should use any means of artistic and creative expression to soothe your senses. So I don't know. Ohgodohgodohgod why did I drink so much yesterday?

Oh, and I have tickets to Sigur Ròs. Go me.


Yea, TS Eliot is one heck of a poet. There is so much depth in his poems that it's unbelievable how much emotions he can put into a poem, or a single line. I guess it's hard work and pure genius. He's had his poems corrected time and time again. (I saw some of the corrections I think Sylvia Plath gave to him...she changes the whole poem sometimes, and takes out whole stanzas.) I think creative expression is good, but equating only rhyming to poetry is very wrong I think.
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Postby Jackal_ on Fri Sep 02, 2005 7:22 am

Jae wrote:I write poetry.

A Dog.
A Red Dog.
A Red Dog Lost.
A Red Dog Found.
Found By A Filipino.
A Red Dog Eaten.
A Red Dog.
A Dog.

*clicks fingers*


lmfaooo that made me fall outta my chair :lol: :lol: :lol: 10/10 man :lol:
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