the JOKE thread(with few shoutouts inside)

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the JOKE thread(with few shoutouts inside)

Postby COOLmac© on Mon Feb 28, 2005 5:17 pm

Well I have been away for 3 days or plus for a seminar. One thing I notice though that the threads have no positive chi flowing in them so I decided to start a joke thread of my own. Feel free to post even the corniest joke you have heard. My friend in makati city(hometown of mikki….we are staying in one city but I never get to even see this guy but what the heck he’s one hell of a patcher.) won $150 after he’s joke got posted in the READERS DiGEST magazine. Talk about lucky

But before that I’ll be shooting out some of you guys because I just feel the need so.
• Cyanide--------great Canadian citizen/great person
• Jona(then numbers)-----sorry bout the film we talk about still cant find it
• G.O.A.T----started out simple but one of the geniuses in the forum
• Jae™-------the first MOD to interact with me and did some constructive critism
• Andreas_Dahl-----good conversationist. The most intellectual talk I have in the forums with
• Alexboom----very good at the forums and well behave
• Andrew-------silent but deadly
• Cambymanvol3----------the second MOD to interact with me
• Mikki-------fellow countryman who patches great cyberfaces and stuff
• Null17-------spurs fan but not so patriotic
• I hate bill Walton-----another angry people in the forum
• Jowe------sometimes angry but most of the time rocks
• Joe--------for some reasons he got banned
• Gloveguy-------we tend not to cross path always
• The game-------guy who likes kobe
• Matt--------I’m speechless, believes deeply in values/a good guy
• Nick---------another almost angry guy
• Gballer---------very deep also a MOD
• Kobe4mvp--------the name’s say it all
• Jackal----------he wont read this probably anyway
• OSF----------cool guy
• Idiot------------this couple of weeks he’s gone quiet
• Wormy-------active guy in the forums
• Naomi-------------never yet interact with her in anyway
• Mad_handle------mmmmm too hard to handle/guy with good philosophical beliefs
• Bullsfan009---------one of the intelligent once
• Lankyman-----------cool but not cool enough for most of the guys here
• Air_gordon-------well I don’t know if he’s still a young guy but he does think like a mature man
• Drex-----a Chilean guy/same as jona
• Trez-----------also one of the best posters out there
• Riot------------guy that talks about nukes in Australia
and to PAMPERS----the hacker who traces me back in here announce my past then dissapears like he always do. i thought you got yourself a wife in vietnam.now you're in japan. goodness

and all of the other guys that I came across with and I forgot to encode.well hello there whanks fo a great forum experience.

Well heres my friends $150 joke:
3 characters:
a pig
a cow
a chicken
they went to a restaurant together to order meals

pig(talking to waitress)-I would like some fresh eggs make that sunny side up and some milk

cow(orders to the waitress)-I would like some fresh eggs too and pork chops but no milk pls.

chicken(orders to the waitress)- make mine pork chops a glass of milk and a couple of fresh eggs UNCOOK and take out.
:wall:
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coolmac's weekly random lyrics #23 I'm dumb she's a lesbian. i thought i have found the one
coolmac's law of plain logical events #479 use common sense, you need to sleep to live
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Postby Ataraxia on Mon Feb 28, 2005 6:29 pm

• Trez-----------also one of the best posters out there

wow u need a reality check........HELLO.........
Me = Spammer, Poser, 3rd World, Nu-Rock, Teeny-Booper, Tsunami, Easy to Burn, Dumbass, Bah temp. goodbye to NLSC now that my new comp has arrived :bday: :dance: :chug: :proud:
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Postby COOLmac© on Mon Feb 28, 2005 6:36 pm

Tsunami

in terms of what?
well the best poster for me in terms of manners perhaps? that way its better and clear. :mrgreen:
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MY FORUMS [u pinoy? go here!]/YES COOLmac's WHITEmen DYNASTY!!!
coolmac's weekly random lyrics #23 I'm dumb she's a lesbian. i thought i have found the one
coolmac's law of plain logical events #479 use common sense, you need to sleep to live
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Postby Mikki on Mon Feb 28, 2005 6:49 pm

TOOLmac wrote:the JOKE thread(with few shootouts inside)


:shock:

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Anyway, Lame Joke. (N)
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Postby 8-Hype on Mon Feb 28, 2005 6:56 pm

Are you a murderer? Who do you wanna shoot with your shootouts?
benji wrote:It's getting too sickening to listen to people siding with barbarians

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Postby Mikki on Mon Feb 28, 2005 9:00 pm

ONYX wrote:Are you a murderer? Who do you wanna shoot with your shootouts?


You I hope. :twisted:


:wink:
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Postby Waz on Mon Feb 28, 2005 9:01 pm

Mikki wrote:
ONYX wrote:Are you a murderer? Who do you wanna shoot with your shootouts?


You I hope. :twisted:


:wink:
yeh that would be nice
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Postby Null17 on Mon Feb 28, 2005 9:11 pm

Null17-------spurs fan but not so patriotic


:? just because i don't like a few people that happen to be Filipinos doesn't mean i'm not patriotic.
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Postby Waz on Mon Feb 28, 2005 9:25 pm

hey i got a good joke
COOLmac is a sane human being

btw i would b an angry person unless there is more of me :?
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Postby Riot on Mon Feb 28, 2005 11:00 pm

I'm too lazy to post all the good dead baby jokes. (Y)
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Postby PiksS on Mon Feb 28, 2005 11:03 pm

I hate Bill Walton wrote:
Mikki wrote:
ONYX wrote:Are you a murderer? Who do you wanna shoot with your shootouts?


You I hope. :twisted:


:wink:
yeh that would be nice

no,it wouldn`t be nice,it would be great

he is here less than 20 dayz and he has already about 400posts :roll:
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Postby Matt on Mon Feb 28, 2005 11:38 pm

lets just hope no one takes these jokes the wrong way

Q: a black guy and a mexican in a car....who's driving?

A: the cop :o



Q: what's the diff between a black guy and a couch?

A: a couch can support a family
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Postby Null17 on Tue Mar 01, 2005 12:36 am

Naomi-------------never yet interact with her in anyway


yet she still gets a shoutout :roll:
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Postby Username123 on Tue Mar 01, 2005 2:18 am

Heheh i am skipping school.... :twisted:
Anyway a joke, there are two ppl on a train and one dies.
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Postby PiksS on Tue Mar 01, 2005 2:50 am

ah,i had to post a joke :wall:
1.
Q. What do you call a 350-pound stripper?
A. Broke!

2.
Q. What is 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1?
A. Bo Derek getting older...

3. I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, “No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night.”

and one more
4.
Q.What's 72?
A.69 with 3 people watching!
:cheeky: :crazy:
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Postby Jona on Tue Mar 01, 2005 3:09 am

Jona(then numbers)-----sorry bout the film we talk about still cant find it


Come on Sir Mac, you should rent it immediately!!! 8-)
(and it's 2112, twenty-one twelve)
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Postby Cameron on Tue Mar 01, 2005 9:03 am

2112 is a movie???? All I know is it's my favourite Rush song.

BTW Coolmac... seriously guy... wtf is up with your posting.
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Postby Jona on Tue Mar 01, 2005 9:40 am

No, no, no!!
Lol, you misinterpreted the post completely.

I told Coolmac to rent A Clockwork Orange, since he thought it was a comedy :roll:

And 2112 are the numbers in my nickname, which he put as "(then numbers)" in his shootouts. :P

Btw, it is my favorite song of ALL TIME!! :headbang:
Everybody should hear it at least once in their life.
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Postby COOLmac© on Tue Mar 01, 2005 10:51 am

wtf is up with your posting.

beats me. just got bored and here in the office with my new promoted job(which dont include a lot of work but sat in the laptop the whole day) guess this place made me feel like a teen once again.
yep the film clockwork orange is still impossible to find here mr.jona2112.but im trying with all my available time to find it.

anyways only a few guys posted their jokes. can we get more jokes here. :mrgreen:
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MY FORUMS [u pinoy? go here!]/YES COOLmac's WHITEmen DYNASTY!!!
coolmac's weekly random lyrics #23 I'm dumb she's a lesbian. i thought i have found the one
coolmac's law of plain logical events #479 use common sense, you need to sleep to live
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Postby The GOAT on Tue Mar 01, 2005 10:52 am

you want a joke? Your grasp on the concept of the English language.
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There is no truth. There is only you and what you make the truth.
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Postby COOLmac© on Tue Mar 01, 2005 10:56 am

atleast you find something funny. (Y)
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MY FORUMS [u pinoy? go here!]/YES COOLmac's WHITEmen DYNASTY!!!
coolmac's weekly random lyrics #23 I'm dumb she's a lesbian. i thought i have found the one
coolmac's law of plain logical events #479 use common sense, you need to sleep to live
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Postby The GOAT on Tue Mar 01, 2005 11:06 am

Actually I do find it very funny and I also admire your ability to not care at all about what we say about you. Seriously, (Y)
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Postby COOLmac© on Tue Mar 01, 2005 11:28 am

yeah those were just posts and replies. we haven't met in real life anyways i have been making fun of poeple my age not so long ago but later in life i find them in a cofee shop or in the mall. we end up with good conversations and talks. so doesn't mean when we bully people we really don't care for that people we just find it a rush to produce funny moments with someone. so i didn't take things that seriously around here. if poeple like it so be it. if they don't well hell yeah we can't please anyone anyways. :oops: :bowdown: :hump:
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MY FORUMS [u pinoy? go here!]/YES COOLmac's WHITEmen DYNASTY!!!
coolmac's weekly random lyrics #23 I'm dumb she's a lesbian. i thought i have found the one
coolmac's law of plain logical events #479 use common sense, you need to sleep to live
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Postby Cameron on Tue Mar 01, 2005 1:20 pm

Jona2112 wrote:No, no, no!!
Lol, you misinterpreted the post completely.

I told Coolmac to rent A Clockwork Orange, since he thought it was a comedy :roll:

And 2112 are the numbers in my nickname, which he put as "(then numbers)" in his shootouts. :P

Btw, it is my favorite song of ALL TIME!! :headbang:
Everybody should hear it at least once in their life.


hehe sorry, I missed a lot of stuff before I posted.

2112 is seriously an amazing song. I have the CD from the original album with the 20 minute version, but I think the first 2 parts are still the best of all of it. But wow, what a classic song, Rush just shows how awesome they are with all their instrumentals, not many bands can match their talent.

[joke]"You're so ugly, you looked out a window and got arrested for mooning!"[/joke]

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Postby cyanide on Tue Mar 01, 2005 2:30 pm

Cyanide--------great Canadian citizen/great person


Thanks, COOLmac :)



Joke: (warning: a lame one)

After a few years of married life, a man finds that he unable to perform sexually. He goes to his doctor, and his doctor tries a few things, but nothing works. Finally the doctor says to him: "This is all in your mind" and refers him to a psychiatrist.

After a few visits, the shrink confesses: "I am at a loss as to how you could possibly be cured." Finally the psychiatrist refers him to a witch doctor.

The witch doctor says: "I can cure this." He throws some powder on a flame, and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke. The witch doctor says: "This is powerful healing, but you can only use it once a year. All you have to do is say '1, 2, 3' and it shall rise for as long as you wish."

The guy then asks the witch doctor: "What happens when it's over?"

The witch doctor says: "All you or your partner has to say is '1, 2, 3, 4' and it will go down. But be warned; it will not work again for a year."

The guy goes home and that night he is ready to surprise his wife with the good news. So, he is lying in bed with her and says: "1, 2, 3" and suddenly he gets an erection.

His wife turns over and says: "Why did you say '1, 2, 3' for?"
if you were killed tomorrow, i WOULDNT GO 2 UR FUNERAL CUZ ID B N JAIL 4 KILLIN THE MOTHA FUCKER THAT KILLED U!
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