Sun Dec 12, 2004 7:48 pm
Top 10 most overrated stars
Who puts the ‘suck’ in ‘success’?
By Wendell Wittler
MSNBC contributor
Updated: 6:16 p.m. ET Nov. 29, 2004
It was a challenging idea. To compile a list of the actors, singers, comics and other show biz glitterati whose fame and fortunateness most outweighs any actual talent they may actually have. And I'm not talking about the latest one-hit-pop-lip-syncher or reality-show-evil-but-hunky-poser but those who have built long, enduring careers out of nearly non-existent abilities.
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I started out with some non-scientific Web polling, which revealed that every star in show biz is considered overrated by somebody.
So I toiled over a way to quantify the imbalance between success and talent, using the stars' estimated net worth and income (and in the process saw that Forbes.com had done its own poll of overrateds, topped by Oprah Winfrey and Tom Cruise), People and Us Weekly covers, Google search results (with special attention to searches with the celebrity's name and the word "sucks"), and good vs. bad reviews.
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After all that, the rankings came out to a statistical tie among 37 non-deserving celebrities, so I threw darts blindfolded at a wall covered with all their pictures and the winners/losers follow, in order of how close the darts came to their left eye (I was going to target the nose, but that would've automatically made Jamie Farr number one).
And now, not exactly the top 10, but not exactly the bottom 10 either:
10. Ben Affleck
Note: I have tried to keep a rule that anyone on this list has to have been famous for at least 10 years, but Affleck has stuffed 15 years of spectacular mediocrity into seven.
Fred Prouser / Reuters
Promising Start Abandoned: Co-wrote “Good Will Hunting” in which he played best friend to real-life friend and co-author Matt Damon (who did most of the dramatic heavy lifting). His lack of writing credits since is not a good sign.
Other not-so-good-signs: He’s a favorite of director Kevin Smith, who is at his best when working with low-budgets and low-standards (proven when Smith and Affleck attempted “Jersey Girl”). His only recent semi-success was playing a superhero.
Overshadowings: His romance and broken engagement with Jennifer Lopez was the talk of Hollywood, apparently solely because headline writers could abbreviate both of them as “Bennifer.” Their costarring turn in “Gigli” led to the film being ranked as one of the worst pictures so far this century.
Meanwhile, millions of Americans mistakenly believe the duck in the insurance commercials is screaming out his name.
9. Keanu Reeves
Giulio Marcocchi / Getty Images file
An Excellent Start: As the second member of the dazed duet in "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure," Keanu faced the challenge of building a career beyond slackertude most heinous. But whether he was doing Shakespeare, Siddhartha or Stoker's Dracula, always seemed seconds away from an outburst of "Dude!"
The Matrix Crashes: He seemed especially ill-suited to wear the long black coat in the cyber-stylistic "Matrix", and after the movie series itself jumped the track halfway through the second installment, he was symbolically stripped of that long black coat and left hanging out in a loud Hawaiian shirt. Dude, indeed.
8. Ozzy Osbourne
Frank Micelotta / Getty Images file
When Dinosaur Rock Ruled the Earth: After fiercely competing for the title "King of Shock Rock" by biting the heads off small animals years after Alice Cooper took up golf, Ozzy set an underachieving standard for heavy metal music that few have gone to the trouble of exceeding.
The Woman Behind the Man: But his wife Sharon is an evil genius at career management, so long after he should have been nothing more than poster boy for Things That Kill Brain Cells, she took advantage of MTV's insatiable thirst for bad programming and pioneered the "Celebrity Reality Show" (a section of show biz wilderness better left unexplored).
Bubbling Under: With mother Sharon's guidance, Kelly Osbourne could make this list within the next 10 years.
7. Snoop Dogg
Kevork Djansezian / AP file
Big Break: He stole his name from a beloved comic strip character and didn't get sued.
Gangsta Yawn: His style stood out from other rappers just for its lack of energy, assumed to be drug-related, making him a poster boy for "Chronics" the way Keanu Reeves is for "Stoners". In his first hit record, he even needed his chorus to remind him what his name was.
Bigger Break: An arrest as accomplice to murder earned him street cred just as "Gangsta Rap" was getting trendy.
Dogg Days: By the time he wrote a song for "Dr. Dolittle 2", his street cred had pretty much evaporated, replaced by a self-parody carved into stone by playing Huggy Bear in the "Starsky and Hutch" movie.
6. Lorne Michaels
Stephen Boitano / Getty Images file
Institutionalized: Bestowed with the stewardship of "Saturday Night Live", one of television's most unique forums for creativity (or at least it was in 1976), he has kept the show on auto-pilot for more than two decades, until the only way to get noticed by the entertainment media was by outing a musical guest as a lip-syncher.
The Comic Discovery Channel: SNL's reputation for discovering comic talent is mostly myth. Its two greatest discoveries, part of the show's original cast, were John Belushi and Gilda Radner, both deceased. Which leaves us with Dan Aykroyd, currently playing second banana in a Tim Allen Christmas movie. For every Eddie Murphy (now best known as a cartoon donkey), there was a Joe Piscopo and a Charles Rocket. Incubating two or three comedy legends per decade is just not enough.
Trump Envy: NBC is now promoting an upcoming reality show in which comedians audition for a role on SNL, with Lorne Michaels the ultimate judge. We may be seeing the making of the next Rob Schneider.
5. Whoopi Goldberg
Promising Start Unkept: Blessed with a first starring role in the Alice Walker written, Steven Spielberg directed "The Color Purple", Whoopi went directly to the forgettable "Jumping Jack Flash", "Burglar" and "Fatal Beauty". In contrast, co-star Oprah Winfrey went directly to her talk show.
Free Range: While portraying a wide variety of roles from heroic black women to gender-and-color-blind oddballs, her acting style is always moments away from the next wisecrack. Co-hosting the charitable "Comic Relief" shows, she was always third banana behind Robin Williams and Billy Crystal. And her willingness to try anything and everything has made her more ubiquitous than the Technicolor logo, but strangely, less colorful. Somebody should tell her that there's a difference between being the epicenter of show business and being center square on "Hollywood Squares".
Current Bad News: Ticket sales for the revival of her one-woman show are not doing well, as audiences realize that her act is mostly Lily Tomlin with more swearing.
4. Tony Danza
Paul Hawthorne / Getty Images file
Taxi Squad on a Dream Team: In "Taxi", he was in the same room as Judd Hirsch, Danny DeVito, Andy Kaufman and Christopher Lloyd. His second sitcom, "Who's the Boss?" showed no residue left from the room full o' talent.
The "What the...?" Factor: Almost everything he's done since has been surprising, or just strange, from doing the voice of the baby in "Baby Talk," to hosting the Miss America Pageant, to sitting in the same room as George C. Scott, Jack Lemmon and Ossie Davis in a TV version of "12 Angry Men."
Current gig: In the temporary holding bin for B-list celebrities trying to avoid demotion to C-list: hosting a daytime talk show.
3. Madonna
Scott Gries / Getty Images
Materialistic Girl: She's credited as "the first female pop star with complete control over her image"; in other words, nobody exploited her, she did it herself. Madonna's practice of constantly redefining herself has kept her one step ahead of serious scrutiny. And "Vogue" was one of the worst attempted dance crazes of the 20th Century.
Legacy: She was the first performer NOT to be harmed by the discovery of an old sex movie, and a pioneer in concert lip-synching (no wonder she kissed Britney Spears; they both needed to do something with their mouths). A whole second generation of "pop tarts" following in her footsteps prove that it wasn't that hard to do in the first place.
Collateral Damage: Her marriage with Sean Penn set his acting career back several years.
2. Arnold Schwarzenegger
Steve Finn / Getty Images
Big Break: As the biggest and freakiest in a documentary on freakishly big body-builders.
The Big Build-Down: Facing the challenge of becoming an Action Star with a muscle-bound physique that hampered stunts other than lifting heavy things and squeezing heads until they burst, it took more than a decade for him to find a niche as the stoic ancient warrior from the age before shirts in "Conan the Barbarian". The robotically non-human "Terminator" was his dream role. As he began to let himself go and shrunk to near-normal size, it was his skill of choosing material more than any actual performing ability that built his career, but at times it seemed to take just one bomb ("Last Action Hero" specifically) to bring him crashing down.
The Soul of a Politician: It should be noted that the best actors-turned-politicians weren't very good actors. (I have a great deal of respect for Gopher from The Love Boat's record as a congressman) And even as he makes highly dramatic speeches, Arnold's voice maintains the dull monotone that was mistaken for deadpan humor in movies like "Twins" and "Kindergarten Cop".
1. William Shatner
Kevork Djansezian / AP file
As Seen on TV: Many actors have extended their careers as mediocre TV drama leads by making fun of themselves (like David Hasselhoff, Patrick Macnee, and especially Leslie Nielsen), but Shatner never really had to try.
Most Shameless Performances: "Twilight Zone's" "Nightmare at 20,000 Feet" was perfect for an over-actor like Shatner (and his performance made the fact that nobody believed his character's ravings more understandable). In "Star Trek," many people thought his over-the-top-and-then-some style was just a counterpoint to Leonard Nimoy's intentionally unemotional alien. The fools.
Career Arc: He hitched his wagon to "Star Trek" and coasted his way into icon status, but still had time for the unfortunately titled "T.J.Hooker," and the now-unfortunately titled "Rescue 911," where his narration tried to build suspense when everybody knew every story would have a happy ending. Shatner was way too perfectly cast as "The Chairman" in the American version of "Iron Chef", as well as his current role as a pompous windbag in a David E. Kelley legal dramedy. And the critical acceptance of his new album, compared to the universal derision of his singing attempts in the '60s, definitively confirms that pop music has gone to hell.
These are not the best of the best nor the worst of the worst, but those for whom a combination of hard work, street smarts and dumb luck have made actual talent almost totally unnecessary.
Many more, from Jennifer Lopez to Larry the Cable Guy, stand in the wings, ambivalently hoping to survive the business of show long enough to join this exclusive club.
We wish them well, but, mostly, we wish they were better.
Sun Dec 12, 2004 9:50 pm
Sun Dec 12, 2004 10:43 pm
Mon Dec 13, 2004 12:06 am
Mon Dec 13, 2004 1:08 am
Jowe wrote:1. 2pac
oooh diss.
2. Angelina Jolie..
3. Eminem.
He just isn't any good.
4. Limp Bizkit
Mon Dec 13, 2004 1:22 am
Najira wrote:Jowe wrote:1. 2pac
oooh diss.
2. Angelina Jolie..
3. Eminem.
He just isn't any good.
4. Limp Bizkit
Most Overrated NLSC Member
1. Jowe
Mon Dec 13, 2004 1:47 am
Jowe wrote:1. 2pac
oooh diss.
Mon Dec 13, 2004 2:29 pm
Dre Naismith wrote:Jowe wrote:1. 2pac
oooh diss.
Know what? I have to actually agree with this statement. But of course I can't help but question whether or not the opinion is really informed, a non-rap fan could say this about virtually any MC.....
In my eyes Pac is more image than anything else, when it boils right down to it from a lyrical standpoint he can't tie Rakim's shoes! Same goes for Big Daddy Kane, Kool G. Rap and of course Biggie Smalls.
I love Pac, I mean I really love that brother, he was immensly talented but as far as his rhymes go I feel they left a lot to be desired in some ways.
Tue Dec 14, 2004 2:49 am
Jowe wrote:Dre Naismith wrote:Jowe wrote:1. 2pac
oooh diss.
Know what? I have to actually agree with this statement. But of course I can't help but question whether or not the opinion is really informed, a non-rap fan could say this about virtually any MC.....
In my eyes Pac is more image than anything else, when it boils right down to it from a lyrical standpoint he can't tie Rakim's shoes! Same goes for Big Daddy Kane, Kool G. Rap and of course Biggie Smalls.
I love Pac, I mean I really love that brother, he was immensly talented but as far as his rhymes go I feel they left a lot to be desired in some ways.
Yeh he was a good rapper.. but he shouldn't be worshipped like a God.
Its the classic, he's a legend because he's dead.
Tue Dec 14, 2004 3:09 am
Yessie wrote:Jowe wrote:Dre Naismith wrote:Jowe wrote:1. 2pac
oooh diss.
Know what? I have to actually agree with this statement. But of course I can't help but question whether or not the opinion is really informed, a non-rap fan could say this about virtually any MC.....
In my eyes Pac is more image than anything else, when it boils right down to it from a lyrical standpoint he can't tie Rakim's shoes! Same goes for Big Daddy Kane, Kool G. Rap and of course Biggie Smalls.
I love Pac, I mean I really love that brother, he was immensly talented but as far as his rhymes go I feel they left a lot to be desired in some ways.
Yeh he was a good rapper.. but he shouldn't be worshipped like a God.
Its the classic, he's a legend because he's dead.
very good point, hes a legend because hes dead way before his time its not like he was over the hill and FAT like ELVIS. the dude was shot in a intersection in Vegas, and he represented something alot of us could relate to at the time. it wasnt an image he was putting up on the screen that exactly how he was. maybe you should take a closer listen to his CD's the man was a poet & he told stories from his view just so happen it came out with alot of anger and consider Gangsta Rap at the time.
Tue Dec 14, 2004 4:12 am
Word.Dre Naismith wrote:- Kool G Rap
Tue Dec 14, 2004 4:50 am
cklitsie wrote:Word.Dre Naismith wrote:- Kool G Rap
Tue Dec 14, 2004 5:52 pm
Did Nas and Jay-Z die and no one told me about it?
Wed Dec 15, 2004 4:23 am
Just turned 16.Dre Naismith wrote:Oh yeah? Seriously man, You're a Kool G Rap fan? How old are you?
Wed Dec 15, 2004 6:38 am
Thu Dec 16, 2004 3:17 am
When in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes
I all alone beweep my outcast state,
And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries,
And look upon myself and curse my fate,
Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,
Featured like him, like him with friends possessed,
Desiring this man's art, and that man's scope,
With what I most enjoy contented least;
Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,
Haply I think on thee, and then my state,
Like to the lark at break of day arising
From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven's gate;
For thy sweet love remembered such wealth brings
That then scorn to change my state with kings.
All I know is a door into the dark.
Outside, old axles and iron hoops rusting;
Inside, the hammered anvil's short pitched ring,
The unpredictable fantail of sparks
Or hiss when a new shoe toughens in water.
The anvil must be somewhere in the centre,
Horned as a unicorn, at one end square,
Set there immoveable: an altar
Where he expends himself in shape and music.
Sometimes, leather-aproned, hairs in his nose,
He leans out on the jamb, recalls a clatter
Of hoofs where traffic is flashing in rows;
Then grunts and goes in, with a slam and flick
To beat real iron out, to work the bellows.
She is as in a field a silken tent
At midday when a sunny summer breeze
Has dried the dew and all its ropes relent,
So that in guys it gently sways at ease,
And its supporting central cedar pole,
That is its pinnacle to heavenward
And signifies the sureness of the soul,
Seems to owe nought to any single cord,
But strictly held by none, is loosely bound
By countless silken ties of love and thought
To everything on earth the compass round,
And only by one's going slightly taut
In the capriciousness of summer air
Is of the slightest bondage made aware.
The mind is its own place, and in itself
Can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven.
What matter where, if I be still the same,
And what I should be, all but less than he
Whom thunder hath made greater? Here at least
We shall be free; th' Almighty hath not built
Here for his envy, will not drive us hence:
Here we may reign secure; and, in my choice,
To reign is worth ambition, though in Hell:
Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven.
But wherefore let we then our faithful friends,
Th' associates and co-partners of our loss,
Lie thus astonished on th' oblivious pool,
And call them not to share with us their part
In this unhappy mansion, or once more
With rallied arms to try what may be yet
Regained in Heaven, or what more lost in Hell?"
Thu Dec 16, 2004 3:56 am
Thu Dec 16, 2004 7:22 am
cklitsie wrote:Just turned 16.Dre Naismith wrote:Oh yeah? Seriously man, You're a Kool G Rap fan? How old are you?
btw. I live in the Netherlands and over here, people call you a wigger for liking hiphop music (), almost no one here knows real hiphop, only Eminem, 50 Cent, etc.
Maybe you could school me on hiphop and tell me some similar artists to CNN and Kool G?
Thu Dec 16, 2004 7:31 am
Eugene wrote:The greatest rapper of all time? From a lyrical standpoint?
William ShakespeareWhen in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes
I all alone beweep my outcast state,
And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries,
And look upon myself and curse my fate,
Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,
Featured like him, like him with friends possessed,
Desiring this man's art, and that man's scope,
With what I most enjoy contented least;
Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,
Haply I think on thee, and then my state,
Like to the lark at break of day arising
From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven's gate;
For thy sweet love remembered such wealth brings
That then scorn to change my state with kings.
Seamus HeaneyAll I know is a door into the dark.
Outside, old axles and iron hoops rusting;
Inside, the hammered anvil's short pitched ring,
The unpredictable fantail of sparks
Or hiss when a new shoe toughens in water.
The anvil must be somewhere in the centre,
Horned as a unicorn, at one end square,
Set there immoveable: an altar
Where he expends himself in shape and music.
Sometimes, leather-aproned, hairs in his nose,
He leans out on the jamb, recalls a clatter
Of hoofs where traffic is flashing in rows;
Then grunts and goes in, with a slam and flick
To beat real iron out, to work the bellows.
Robert FrostShe is as in a field a silken tent
At midday when a sunny summer breeze
Has dried the dew and all its ropes relent,
So that in guys it gently sways at ease,
And its supporting central cedar pole,
That is its pinnacle to heavenward
And signifies the sureness of the soul,
Seems to owe nought to any single cord,
But strictly held by none, is loosely bound
By countless silken ties of love and thought
To everything on earth the compass round,
And only by one's going slightly taut
In the capriciousness of summer air
Is of the slightest bondage made aware.
John Milton.The mind is its own place, and in itself
Can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven.
What matter where, if I be still the same,
And what I should be, all but less than he
Whom thunder hath made greater? Here at least
We shall be free; th' Almighty hath not built
Here for his envy, will not drive us hence:
Here we may reign secure; and, in my choice,
To reign is worth ambition, though in Hell:
Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven.
But wherefore let we then our faithful friends,
Th' associates and co-partners of our loss,
Lie thus astonished on th' oblivious pool,
And call them not to share with us their part
In this unhappy mansion, or once more
With rallied arms to try what may be yet
Regained in Heaven, or what more lost in Hell?"
Masters of the language. Bar none.
As opposed to Jay-Z? "Big pimpin', spending G's" Are you kidding me?
I'm just playing. I don't know anything about rap. This was my attempt at humor.
Eugene
Now entertain a conjecture of time
When creeping murmur and the poring dark
Fills the wide vessel of the universe
From camp to camp through the foul womb of night
The hum of either army stilly sounds
That the fixed sentinels all most receive
The secret whispers of each others watch.....
Thu Dec 16, 2004 9:57 am
Dre Naismith wrote:Sorry I took so long to respond, I had to take care of some "bid'ness"![]()
Here's a few I think might be right up your alley:
- Tragedy Khadafi (If you love CNN, get this NOW!)
- Papoose
- D-Block
Thu Dec 16, 2004 10:27 am
Thu Dec 16, 2004 11:12 am
Hi Eugene, as a matter of fact I myself am a Shakespearean actor
Thu Dec 16, 2004 11:21 am
Thu Dec 16, 2004 1:35 pm
Thu Dec 16, 2004 2:00 pm
Jae™ wrote:Hi Eugene, as a matter of fact I myself am a Shakespearean actor
Really? That's pretty interesting... what made you wanna get into that side of acting?
sorry for semi-hijacking the thread