I came across my "scouting report" for the old Posters patch for Nba Live.
Reading it back now, god only knows what drugs I was on, but anyway here it is...
The Posters Patch Scouting Report
In the late nineties, and the early part of the new milleneum, “Posting” has turned from a convenient source of communication, into an art form. Posting has become technologically advanced to the point of Smiley’s and Quotes, yes I can hardly believe it myself! In the world of posting, there is no bigger or better Forum than the one cultivated by the people from the “Nba Live Series Centre”. It is the NBA of Online Forums, and the standard by which all forums should be measured! Just like the NBA, you are always going to have your “NBL’s” and your European Leagues to compete with, but nothing compares to the NLSC Forum!
Now with the development of the new “Posters Patch”, which is an attempt to celebrate the art of Posting, and the NLSC Forum, we are going to be seeing the Patching world and the Posting world as one.
Here is a small scouting report on all the posters to be in the patch. (In no particular order)
ALEX CARREIRA
This young man is a good patcher, but as a poster he needs some work. He is a descent poster, and as his number of posts grows, so does the quality of the posting. He has some potential, but will always be a Patcher at heart.
NBA Counterpart: Shawn Bradley – If he puts in the time he can be great.
TONY HUML
Arguably the greatest patcher of all time, and growing all the time as a poster! He is already an all-star, and depending on whether he stays retired from patching or not, there’s a chance he could be one of the all-time greats of the forum.
NBA Counterpart: A young Hakeem Olajuwon – Multitalented, and the sky is the limit.
DAMIAN GLAISTER
An up and commer. Has the talent, but has already had his taste of a “flame war”, and his development as a poster depends on which way his attitude swings.
NBA Counterpart: Cuttino Mobley – Really likes to post and rates himself highly.
BEN NOOR
Another patcher. He has some potential in the Posting world, but unfortunately I think he only posts when he really needs to.
NBA Counterpart: Patrick Ewing – Only gets on court when he really has to.
MAX MARCINKOWSKI
Here’s another European sensation. Does a little bit of everything, and is an up and coming young poster. Has been around a little while now, and could develop as his English continues to soar to new heights. Should be a player in this league.
NBA Counterpart: Pau Gasol – Not shy about making posts, and will only get better.
BEN BAILEY
A veteran of the forum, leads the Forum in all-time Posts, and could arguably be the greatest of all time. We forget how young he is, because he has been around such a long time.
NBA Counterpart: Kareem Abdul-Jabbar – All-time leading Poster. Whether he is the greatest or not is debatable because you either love him or hate him. Kareem made the Sky hook his own, Ben owns ‘Sarcasm’. His post total is unlikely to be eclipsed.
LIAM BRANAGHAN
A young guy who has some potential, and a good sense of humor. He is already a good contributor and could develop more. Goes about his business quietly most of the time (I think)
NBA Counterpart: Elton Brand – His numbers aren’t as big as Brands, but he could a solid contributor, and remain at the same level for a while. Whether he develops into a Great, is unknown at this point.
SHANE HEFTY
An old timer, who ranks second only to Ben Bailey in all-time posts. He is one of the first “Flame Warriors”, and continues to post a descent number of times. His game may be slipping though, as a result of too many beers and “relations” with semi attractive women. (ha ha)
NBA Counterpart: A referee – Has plenty to say to the others but isn’t always diplomatic about it.
YOHANCE BAILEY
The man who is 6th on the all-time posts count. Has had interruptions in his posting and patching careers, but came back to posting with a vengeance, and is an all-star in this forum. Not afraid to put on the flame suit every now and then, as seen in his latest comeback where the suit came out fairly often. Still has potential.
NBA Counterpart: Charles Oakley – He don’t take no crap, posts when he’s got something to say. Has done a little bit of everything in the past – Patching, Modding, Posting.
GENE HART-SMITH
An unbelievable talent in the patching world, but barely ever gets any court time in the posting world. Does what he has to do when he needs to, other than that he’s very quite. Never ever wears the flame suit.
Great guy. Still has potential.
NBA Counterpart: Rick Brunson – goes quietly about his business, doesn’t post much at all.
THUAN VUU
Here’s another extremely talented patcher (see NBL patches), who never gets on the forum to make some noise. A good team player, always willing to help.
NBA Counterpart: Rafer Alston – Great talent, doesn’t post though.
RENATO BABOLHOS
This guy doesn’t back down. He’s not that skilled but he doesn’t give up. Doesn’t do much damage these days because there’s no Nba Live 2002.
NBA Counterpart: Jerome Williams – He keeps going even though english isn’t his first language. (Williams can’t shoot but plays hard/rebounds, that’s why there’s a resemblance)
MATT BAKOWSKI
One of the best posters ever numbers wise, but about 500 of his posts came from his weapon, the expression “LOL”. Has plenty of accolades and has been around for a while, but still has potential to improve, even though he’s already an all-star. Reached an amazing number of posts in record setting time. Great sense of humour, and you wouldn’t hear nothing about the Pistons if not for Matt. Also a big contributor to the “Starting 5” thread, but has slowed down some in recent months due to the phone bill.
NBA Counterpart: Dominique Wilkins – Plenty of posts, too many “lol’s”. Could also be compared to Gary Payton because he’s always yapping.
PAVEL RUBIN
Another young guy with bucket loads of potential. If he can become more consistent and one day manages to get out of a shaky franchise (Honduras), he could be an all time great. His downfall though is his hundreds of references to “Showerfun”
NBA Counterpart: John Stockton – he is always dishing it!
SUNG-HO KIM
A fairly new guy to the NLSC forum, but has made his mark with the Jordan Bashing in certain posts. Not a good way to kick off his career but there’s some potential there, and he could be a descent poster.
NBA Counterpart: Unknown.
JUAN DELLA VALLE
A south American kid with modest posting numbers but still in the top 15 of all time. Posts when he has to, and has made the “one word post” his own. His heart is with the patching, but he steadily keeps improving his post number.
NBA Counterpart: Johnny Newman – middle of the pack type numbers, and just keeps going and going.
JAE HATTON
One of the all-time greats! 3rd on the all-time posting list and was around for a long time. Very consistent poster, and pretty fond of the “flame war”. Retired recently, and left at the top of his game. One of the funniest posters the forum has ever seen.
NBA Counterpart: Dennis Rodman – Always said and did what he wanted to, didn’t take any crap, and most of all, just like Dennis he was misunderstood, and left when he could have still been a great poster.
MATTHEW DAMIAN
7th on the all-time posting list, and after a slow patch a few months ago has been rejuvenated, and is posting like a mad man. Still young , is an all-star and a future hall of famer, if he isn’t already. Has been around a long time, great sense of humor.
NBA Counterpart: Jayson Williams – funny guy who can kick some ass if needed. He’s not retired though.
TRAVIS LEE
A semi-retired legend of a patcher, Lee never really did go crazy on the boards like some of the other posters, and now that he is married, he is also retired from posting.
NBA Counterpart: Unknown
JOE PHAM
Joe is an unknown, a possible diamond in the rough.
JONAS TERRADO
Jonas is sometimes a one dimensional poster because he mainly posts about the Knicks, but never the less a good guy, and loves his Knicks. He will probably be a steady kind of poster who continues to post the way he does for a long time. You won’t see him making “World’s most Beautiful Women” posts.
NBA Counterpart: Allen Houston… no, no, no, Danny Fortson – concentrates mainly on one thing, but throws in some bonuses.
DAVID POJER
David is an unknown, a somewhat newbie to the forum.
DMITRI MELNIKOV
One of the all-time greats, and that’s a little weird because he hasn’t been around that long at all, yet he is a great with plenty of potential. He ranks 4th on the all-time list, with over a thousand posts. A great poster who has a chance to be the greatest of all time. Used to be a mod too, and is also a webmaster.
NBA Counterpart: Tim Duncan – One of the best posters in the forum, has achieved plenty, and yet there is no limit on where he can go.
NOT APPLICABLE
Cattamer, is he is known, has been around a little while, and has had some impact with his whacky posts about cats. His unique style is bound to grab some headlines.
NBA Counterpart: Former player Michael Adams – unique style. (Remember Adams’ push shot?)
ALEXANDER KOBAN
Relatively unknown, a newbie. Has shown some potential so far.
NBA Counterpart: Andrei Kirilenko – Could surprise a lot of people if he can show the raw talent.
ANDREW SCOTT
Andrew came out of the blocks like a mad man! He was making good pace, and could have become an all-star based on all the posts in the “Starting 5” thread. However he has dropped off ever since, only showing glimpses of the posting ability we first noticed.
NBA Counterpart: Keith Van Horn – burst out of the blocks, but isn’t living up to the hype he set for himself early. Could still explode, especially if he sees this (hehe).
GILBERT HUANG
An unknown newbie, another possible diamond in the rough. Time will tell.
ZILVINAS JAKSTAS
Fresh faced newbie, if he continues to post, could be a good contributor.
MATT TOWNSLEY
I believe this young man has been around for a little while, but is yet to make a splash.
TALES PAGNI
Still a newbie, but shaking off that tag with his ability to rack up big numbers quickly. Seems hungry for posts, and has a good sense of humor, but seems to disappear for stretches here and there. Has potential to be an all-star in the forum.
NBA Counterpart: Jamaal Tinsley – a little inconsistent, but is going to set some records.
ANDY MICHAELS
Andy hasn’t made much noise yet, again, time will tell.
SANTIAGO ROZA
A veteran of the board and patchmaking, but seems to have just about given up the posting game. Is in the top 15 posters of all time, and posts when he needs to say something, especially things he believes in strongly.
NBA Counterpart: Hersey Hawkins – a straight shooter who doesn’t seem to be around.
RENS KRIJSMAN
Rens is much like Dmitri Melnikov, but I won’t say he’s the next Melnikov, that would be unfair (hehe). Rens is a great poster, another guy who has been here a while, and still has plenty left in the tank. He ranks 8th in the all-time post count, and is headed for the hall of fame. He brought to our attention the “MVP” status of Eric Montross, and the great word “Neuken”.
NBA Counterpart: Vince Carter – Can be awesome if he wants to be. Is yet to really try a flame suit, so his reputation is almost Jordanesque, untarnished.
ANDREW BEGLEY
Mr. Begley, is one hell of a veteran, has been here since the beginning and is the most professional guy in the forum. He has done it all, top 15 in all-time posts, webmaster of NLD, patchmaker, and ofcourse now the Webmaster of the NLSC. Andrew is “da man”, and gave us the special Larry Bird comeback moment.
NBA Counterpart: Charles Oakley – He has been here forever, done a bit of everything, won’t go away, and is extremely professional towards his work. If you know him well enough, he’s almost as colorful a character as Oak himself.
BENJAMIN VEITH
Has been here for sometime, but is another guy who hasn’t made much noise. Stays away from flame wars, and makes good clean posts.
NBA Counterpart: Eric Piatowski – effective enough without trying to be flashy.
DENIS P
Been around a little, and is one of the guys with good potential. Has been making a descent number of posts lately, look out for him in the future. Could be an all-star.
NBA Counterpart: Jonathan Bender – Starting to find his feet and flourish.
PERRY PERAPINYOKUL
Not that much of a newbie, but never the less a quite guy. We could be hearing from him in the future.
NBA Counterpart: Kwarme Brown
AIVARAS IVASKEVICIUS
Unknown, but more and more Lithuanians are showing up, and the more of them there is, the more likely each is to flourish and make some noise.
ERIC MCLEMORE
More of a patcher, and has been a streaky poster so far. If he catches fire look out, could be big.
NBA Counterpart: Larry Hughes – plenty of potential, a little streaky.
Ok so those are scouting reports for most of the players who will be in the patch. I don’t know everybody, and this is all in good fun, so hopefully nobody gets offended! If you guys want to make one for me to get some revenge, feel free!
Here are the top 15 Posters of all time, as of Monday the 4th February.
1) Ben Bailey - 1817
2) Shane Hefty - 1483
3) Jae Hatton - 1123
4) Dmitri Melnikov - 1082
5) Stevan Ostojic - 1072
6) Yohance Bailey - 843
7) Matthew Damian - 806
8) Rens Krijsman - 620
9) Cocobee - 526
10) Christian Templeton - 518
11) C Whaaaazuuuuup - 473
12) David Wells - 461
13) Juan Della Valle - 390
14) Santiago Roza - 387
15) Andrew Begley- 366
Written by Stevan Ostojic.
Statistics provided by Andrew Begley.
Looking at that top 15 list... this shit is old. Some time 2001 probably? I was thinking about doing a "where are they now" type of scouting report to see how our posters have developed since then (ie: some play in another league
) but I don't know if I can be bothered! Oh, and now we know who the real noobs are 
Get it right 
