There is NO XENU

I spent the Queen's Birthday long weekend in Canberra for a mate's birthday, where I learned that Scientologists are out on the streets, distributing pamphlets (but unfortunately did not run into any while I was there). I was surprised to hear it because Scientology isn't particularly big in Australia as far as I'm aware but apparently they've got a setup in Canberra and are spreading the word. Before we continue, let us consider the words of Matt Stone and Trey Parker following their run-in with Tom Cruise.

"So, Scientology, you may have won THIS battle, but the million-year war for Earth has just begun! Temporarily anozinizing our episode will NOT stop us from keeping Thetans forever trapped in your pitiful man-bodies. Curses and drat! You have obstructed us for now, but your feeble bid to save humanity will fail! HAIL XENU!!!"

In all seriousness, what I said in the other thread applies here. If believing in an evil alien dumping brainwashed souls on Earth that eventually found their way into all living beings and undergoing a process to cleanse one's soul of whatever must be cleansed according to Scientology's doctrine makes people happy and gives their life meaning, so be it. What bothers me is how litigious the church of Scientology is, or how hypocritical some of its most famous followers are (or were). For example, Tom Cruise is very defensive about what people write about him as well as his daughter (and rightfully so), but feels he has free license to comment and pass judgement on other people, such as Brooke Shields when she spoke about her post-natal depression. The late Isaac Hayes had no problem with South Park lampooning other religions but abruptly quit following their send-up of Scientology (though what exactly happened there is a bit sketchy).

There was also a bit of controversy earlier this year when Nancy Cartwright, the voice of Bart Simpson amongst others, used Bart's voice in a promotion/campaign for Scientology. Naturally some people took that too far, bleating about how they wouldn't let their kids watch The Simpsons because it advocated Scientology (despite showrunner Al Jean's statement about the show promoting nothing except Butterfingers) but as much as I respect Nancy Cartwright's work and her right to believe whatever she wants to believe but it struck me as being a bit disrespectful and unfair to the rest of the people involved with The Simpsons and somewhat irresponsible.

Anyway, since this is kind of a parody thread that is free to develop into something more serious if the ball bounces that way, I'll end with this:



"Na na na na na na na na LEADER!"

what?

It's a thread about Scientology.

Scientology sucks, pretty much

I got that, but the wall of text boggled my senses. and scientology is too stupid to be taken serious. aliens taking over people. ok. why haven't we lost the planet then to them yet then?
they like to dick around instead of being serious? lol.

Then I'll summarise. If people want to believe in it so be it, but I certainly don't and I certainly don't care for the hypocrisy exhibited by some of the more prominent celebrity Scientologists. I also thought the incident with Nancy Cartwright earlier this year was a bit tacky on her part.

consider me an idiot to the whole situation. what did she do?

This thread fails for having no poll.

wikipedia, whoosh

In January 2009, Cartwright used Bart's voice in an automated telephone message to Scientologists, inviting them to an event in Hollywood, California.[70][71] She opened the message in Bart's voice, saying "Yo, what's happenin' man, this is Bart Simpson [laugh]", then used her normal voice in most of the rest of the message.[72][73] In a 2000 interview, Cartwright explained that a character's voice is copyrighted and she can use Bart's voice in public but cannot record original dialogue without approval.[74] Al Jean, executive producer of The Simpsons, said that "[the telephone calls were not] authorized by us",[71] while The Simpsons creator Matt Groening commented that the issue had been "blown up beyond what was intended".

lol. so scientologists are kids just like the rest of us. big surprise.

This thread fails for having no poll.

Quite right. I've rectified it now though, better late than never.

I'm waiting for Tom Cruise or some crazed scientologist to step in and make a defensive post.

We've had Dr Phil, so anything's possible.

tom cruise is to busy hiding his sexuality to post in this thread.

I am a devout Pastafarian.

It makes far more sense than Scientology, at least.

what the fuck's a pastafarian? like a weed smoking, dread locked pascifist?

I dont even need the caption

Jao, that was perfect. I literally LOLed. And I now manlove you.

nothing wrong with a bit of manloving. lol.

Donnie, I've manloved you since you almost single handedly got us the 07 patch

I am a devout Pastafarian.

It makes far more sense than Scientology, at least.

to the Flying Spaghetti Monster!

Here's what seems to be an official version...

phpBB [video]

...which you may compare to South Park's version (and this scientology spokesperson who pretty much tries to deny those basics):

phpBB [video]

Enlightening

This scientology thing gives me a headache

It positively warms my heart to see the Hypnotoad out in front in the poll.

the fact that I am the only one who said 42 makes me a saaaaaaaaaaaaad panda