Main Site   ‹   Forum   ‹   Rules   ‹   Downloads   ‹   Wiki   ‹   Features   ‹   Podcast   ‹   Facebook   ‹   Twitter   ‹   YouTube   ‹   NBA Live 25th Anniversary   ‹   Discord   ‹   Support Us! 

An NLSC Mystery. Where is Stevan?

Other video games, TV shows, movies, general chit-chat...this is an all-purpose off-topic board where you can talk about anything that doesn't have its own dedicated section.
Post a reply

What happened to Stevan?

Slovakian Prostitute
8
23%
Married Homer
3
9%
Colin is a 16 year old girl
18
51%
Overly long holiday
2
6%
Other (please state)
4
11%
 
Total votes : 35

An NLSC Mystery. Where is Stevan?

Postby J@3 on Thu Apr 28, 2005 6:39 am

Well, considering when he went to Moldova or wherever it was he said he'd be back sometime in February. Unless my calendar is wrong and I've just left it at the hottest girl out of the 12 months, it's now April. I feel asthough as a senior member of the community it is my duty to make this nearly unreplyable pseudo-spam thread detailing his possible whereabouts and motives for leaving us neglected and starving. Lets look at the case file as Dweaver might say...

Stevan wrote:Posted: Fri Dec 24, 2004 1:48 pm
Tomorrow I leave for Serbia & Montenegro, and I'm staying there for 6 weeks! Have a good christmas, new year and all that guys. See you guys half way through February


Now, Christmas Eve... the last time you'd want someone to leave you but it happened. He states clearly his return will be in the middle of February. This leads to my possible scenario for this situation...

I wrote:Stevan I know you're afraid but I think you should tell us the truth...

You were kidnapped by foreign militants posing as fully sick wog chicks in some underage night club in Melbourne, right?


This was followed up by Colin. At the time I took it as a joke, now I'm not so sure...

Colin wrote:How'd you know? I was one of the one kidnappers. Only 3.5 million dollars and you can have him.


Incriminating indeed. And no amount of money would make me want to "have him"... nice guy, that's where it ends.

Stevan wrote:lol damn it! That's the last time I try to score with a 16 year old chick!


I'm assuming this means Colin is some sort of 16 year old girl. Is there something you're not telling us Colin?

Then we wait. February comes and goes, and no sign of Stevan... well sort of, we do get this message...

Stevan wrote:Posted: Sat Feb 05, 2005 3:12 am

what's up fools?? I extended my trip till the 22nd/23rd-ish feb, so I won't be back for a while. I don't have time to check zee forum but I thought I'd drop in and say hello from the land of no internet. I hope I haven't missed any kick ass flames Very Happy I see homer is still the anus of many jokes. Laterz!


Now if we examine this further, you will notice he uses the term "zee forum"... this was popularised by the late Pavel Rubin. I'm not sure if this actually was Pavel pretending to be Stevan, but it is quite possible that it is. We can't rule these things out, so lets look at what we've discovered so far...

:arrow: no one's really sure exactly where Stevan is
:arrow: he's missed his self appointed return date by some time
:arrow: he's possibly been kidnapped by Pavel Rubin
:arrow: Colin is really a 16 year old girl

By accumulating the evidence I have come up with the following scenario:

Stevan never existed. He was in fact a 12 year old Slovakian prostitute named "Jenny". Appointed moderator due to offering random "favours", he managed to find himself adraft on a cargo ship heading to Turkey wher e he hoped to rendevouz with his secret love, Homer. Homer, otherwise known as "Homer" was an exceptionally unattractive man who once had a very successful stint on RateMyBody.com. I'm assuming we'll be getting some sort of news about a wedding or something, but in the meantime all we can do is stipulate. I do these things when I'm tired.

What do YOU think happened to Stevan?
User avatar
J@3
 
Posts: 19815
Joined: Thu Mar 11, 2004 3:25 pm
Location: MLB
Top

Postby Jackal on Thu Apr 28, 2005 6:43 am

He refuses to get out of my bed. When I go to change the sheets he just goes "BOO BOO"...it's his "scare tactic". Which by the way is scary, I still have to change the sheets. Will someone please help me get him out of my bed? Please?

Ehm, wait, hmm, Stevan? Never heard of him. :shifty:

Hmm, Colin's a 16 year old girl.
User avatar
Jackal
 
Posts: 14877
Joined: Fri Mar 21, 2003 2:59 am
Top

Postby cyanide on Thu Apr 28, 2005 6:50 am

I think he met a Slovakian prostitute on his vacation to Serbia and "accidently" impregnated her. He's fulfilling his fatherly duties by living there and refusing to come back to the NLSC because of his embarassment... or lack of finding a reliable internet connection.

Either that, or he's dead.

Or, he's actually back, but this is a conspiracy between him and Jae for shits and giggles ;)
if you were killed tomorrow, i WOULDNT GO 2 UR FUNERAL CUZ ID B N JAIL 4 KILLIN THE MOTHA FUCKER THAT KILLED U!
......|..___________________, ,
....../ `---______----|]
...../==o;;;;;;;;______.:/
.....), ---.(_(__) /
....// (..) ), ----"
...//___//
..//___//
.//___//
WE TRUE HOMIES
WE RIDE TOGETHER
WE DIE TOGETHER
User avatar
cyanide
Dat steatopygous
 
Posts: 9197
Joined: Sat Oct 11, 2003 6:09 am
Location: US's toque
Top

Postby iG® on Thu Apr 28, 2005 7:04 am

You really don't want to know what have I done with him...I mean,what happend to him.
User avatar
iG®
 
Posts: 1545
Joined: Sat Jul 31, 2004 1:09 am
Location: Serbia, Belgrade
Top

Postby Andreas Dahl on Thu Apr 28, 2005 7:28 am

Here's my theorem:
He never went to Serbia/Montenegro to begin with, he never even intended to do so. It was all just a clever spoof in order to get some free time for him and Homer, which he out of coincidence met on RateMyBody.com and eventually came to love. It became their dream to one day live together and get to raise their own little children. The children would of course be as ugly as sin, although after some time (Feb 05) he find out that Homer is in fact not a woman, as he first claimed to be, and that their dream of having children never could be for filled. This causes several hours of sweet sweet lovin' by the fireplace, and then eventually to a break-up between them. It is after this break-up that he finds himself being comforted by a 16 year old prostitute, which he later find out is Colin, in a Brazilian shantytown. The prostitute and Stevan discover that they both have an abnormal obsession with cars which leads to several hours of sweet sweet lovin' in the back of Stevans' car. Although this was not a good thing, as the prostitutes pimp (Which turns out to be Pavel) gets extremely pissed and starts to lecture Stevan about the Pavenian language (which has caused the toughest of men to burst out in tears) and forcing him to write to everyone he knows in Pavenial. Then there could very well be something with Barbie Dolls, the NFL and some aliens (that meeting resulted in several hours of sweet sweet alien-lovin'); and eventually resulting in Stevan being at McDonald's 24/7. That's right; he's lying dead in a dumpster behind a McDonalds somewhere in Utah. That’s my theory anyway...

Either that or the thing Jae said... Whichever's most likely :wink:
Image
User avatar
Andreas Dahl
 
Posts: 5970
Joined: Sat Dec 07, 2002 10:04 pm
Location: Växjö, Sweden
Top

Postby The GOAT on Thu Apr 28, 2005 7:43 am

LMAO this is teh stupidest thread I've ever seen!

And 'Colin is a 16 year old girl' is winning 5-3 over teh Prostitute one.
Image

There is no truth. There is only you and what you make the truth.
The GOAT
 
Posts: 3197
Joined: Mon Oct 06, 2003 11:06 am
Location: Long Island, New York
Top

Postby Filip on Thu Apr 28, 2005 7:46 am

You know that Homer-Stevan love theori dosen't hold for shit since you all know I'm already married with Homer and keep a close eye on him 24h a day.

Anyway, I don't think none of the suggestions in the poll is the right one.
I don't know what happend to him, but I'm sure that Tales has something to do with it (noticed that he has been gone for a pretty good while to :idea: ).
User avatar
Filip
 
Posts: 3911
Joined: Fri Jan 03, 2003 7:59 am
Location: England
Top

Postby Indy on Thu Apr 28, 2005 7:58 am

hahahahaha i dont even know stevan but i still read this... and laughed!
Image
User avatar
Indy
 
Posts: 5240
Joined: Tue Dec 21, 2004 1:32 pm
Location: Dublin
Top

Postby Its_asdf on Thu Apr 28, 2005 9:38 am

Teh G.O.A.T. wrote:LMAO this is teh stupidest thread I've ever seen!

And 'Colin is a 16 year old girl' is winning 5-3 over teh Prostitute one.


No, stupid threads are threads that are started by CoolMac, these are actually quite entertaining.

I have come to a conclusion and that is......

Colin is a 16 year old girl.
User avatar
Its_asdf
I'm kind of a big deal.
 
Posts: 5462
Joined: Sat Mar 19, 2005 4:53 am
Location: Under a Rock in Canada
Top

Postby Jona on Thu Apr 28, 2005 9:46 am

I want to know what happened to Tales, I have not seen him for a while. :?:
Jona - Rush Fan
Image
User avatar
Jona
 
Posts: 2659
Joined: Mon Apr 26, 2004 7:41 am
Location: Santiago, Chile
Top

Postby J@3 on Thu Apr 28, 2005 9:51 am

Internal issues... i.e he felt ganged up on by certain members of the posting public and subsequentially seemed to disappear. Although it might have to do with work and such aswell, I'm gathering that's why he blocked a bunch of us on msn :lol:
User avatar
J@3
 
Posts: 19815
Joined: Thu Mar 11, 2004 3:25 pm
Location: MLB
Top

Postby Doobie on Thu Apr 28, 2005 10:00 am

yae man we need to restock on mods soon.
New York Knicks
User avatar
Doobie
didn't do it.
 
Posts: 3662
Joined: Sat Jul 03, 2004 3:51 am
Location: NYC
Top

Postby The GOAT on Thu Apr 28, 2005 10:03 am

No we don't.
Image

There is no truth. There is only you and what you make the truth.
The GOAT
 
Posts: 3197
Joined: Mon Oct 06, 2003 11:06 am
Location: Long Island, New York
Top

Postby Colin on Thu Apr 28, 2005 10:30 am

Damn you all...

You have it backwards idiot. I am the pimp and Pavel is my 16 year-old prostitute. She pulls in about $20 a night.
C#
Image
Pretty Flaco
User avatar
Colin
 
Posts: 5913
Joined: Thu Mar 06, 2003 7:02 am
Location: Van-City
Top

Postby AlwaysWhat,NeverWhy on Thu Apr 28, 2005 10:51 am

Hahaha, this is one funny spam thread... (Y)

For 50 dollars an hour you can hire my services and I will find you rmissing Stevan in no time...


Internal issues... i.e he felt ganged up on by certain members of the posting public and subsequentially seemed to disappear.


Damn. Another 20+ member of NLSC bites the dust... this is a conspiracy I tell you... :lol:
User avatar
AlwaysWhat,NeverWhy
 
Posts: 5190
Joined: Thu Jan 27, 2005 11:30 am
Location: The Lodge...
Top

Postby COOLmac© on Thu Apr 28, 2005 10:56 am

and it all started when i pop up :P
Image
MY FORUMS [u pinoy? go here!]/YES COOLmac's WHITEmen DYNASTY!!!
coolmac's weekly random lyrics #23 I'm dumb she's a lesbian. i thought i have found the one
coolmac's law of plain logical events #479 use common sense, you need to sleep to live
User avatar
COOLmac©
 
Posts: 3710
Joined: Wed Feb 09, 2005 1:48 pm
Location: NCR phil..>",<
Top

Postby Jona on Thu Apr 28, 2005 12:27 pm

Shut up Coolmac... :roll:
Jona - Rush Fan
Image
User avatar
Jona
 
Posts: 2659
Joined: Mon Apr 26, 2004 7:41 am
Location: Santiago, Chile
Top

Postby Andrew on Thu Apr 28, 2005 12:31 pm

I did talk to Stevan a while back so I know the real reason. But they're not as exciting as the speculation in this thread, so I won't spoil the fun yet.
User avatar
Andrew
Retro Basketball Gamer
Administrator
 
Posts: 115148
Joined: Thu Aug 22, 2002 8:51 pm
Location: Australia
Top

Postby J@3 on Thu Apr 28, 2005 4:46 pm

He's dead isn't he :cry:
User avatar
J@3
 
Posts: 19815
Joined: Thu Mar 11, 2004 3:25 pm
Location: MLB
Top

Postby Andrew on Thu Apr 28, 2005 5:19 pm

I hope not; otherwise it's pretty spooky that I got a PM from him. He didn't mention anything about being dead so I took that as a positive sign.
User avatar
Andrew
Retro Basketball Gamer
Administrator
 
Posts: 115148
Joined: Thu Aug 22, 2002 8:51 pm
Location: Australia
Top

Postby J@3 on Thu Apr 28, 2005 5:20 pm

I don't think he would've told you, just so we don't worry.
User avatar
J@3
 
Posts: 19815
Joined: Thu Mar 11, 2004 3:25 pm
Location: MLB
Top

Postby Fresh8 on Thu Apr 28, 2005 7:01 pm

Well.. wonder if Steven's ever gonna come back... lol
User avatar
Fresh8
The poster formerly known as Sit
 
Posts: 14872
Joined: Mon Nov 11, 2002 5:19 pm
Top

Postby Cameron on Fri Apr 29, 2005 1:18 am

Hahaha, Stevan was so cool. Except he was gay ;)

Teh G.O.A.T. wrote:LMAO this is teh stupidest thread I've ever seen!

And 'Colin is a 16 year old girl' is winning 5-3 over teh Prostitute one.


It's spelled "the".
User avatar
Cameron
 
Posts: 1419
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2003 5:01 am
Location: Canada
Top

Postby cyanide on Fri Apr 29, 2005 1:29 am

Cammo wrote:
Teh G.O.A.T. wrote:LMAO this is teh stupidest thread I've ever seen!

And 'Colin is a 16 year old girl' is winning 5-3 over teh Prostitute one.


It's spelled "the".


lol, don't bother correcting his "teh"'s because he does it on purpose. Heck, look at his name, "Teh G.O.A.T."
if you were killed tomorrow, i WOULDNT GO 2 UR FUNERAL CUZ ID B N JAIL 4 KILLIN THE MOTHA FUCKER THAT KILLED U!
......|..___________________, ,
....../ `---______----|]
...../==o;;;;;;;;______.:/
.....), ---.(_(__) /
....// (..) ), ----"
...//___//
..//___//
.//___//
WE TRUE HOMIES
WE RIDE TOGETHER
WE DIE TOGETHER
User avatar
cyanide
Dat steatopygous
 
Posts: 9197
Joined: Sat Oct 11, 2003 6:09 am
Location: US's toque
Top

Postby Cameron on Fri Apr 29, 2005 1:40 am

lol yeah I know Cyanide :P

Tehy're just starting to get annoying, all tohse teh's. Sooooo last year.
User avatar
Cameron
 
Posts: 1419
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2003 5:01 am
Location: Canada
Top
Next
Post a reply

Return to Off-Topic

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 8 guests



Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group