Tue Dec 26, 2006 2:33 pm
To: John Madden
CC: Electronic Arts Sports
From: Ethan Albright
Re: Being the worst rated player on Madden ‘07
Hi, John, my name is Ethan Albright. I play line for the Washington Redskins. You probably already knew that, so I’ll continue. I am writing in regards to the overall player rating of 53 that I have received in Madden NFL Football 2007. I feel that this is fucking bullshit and you should kiss my mother-fucking ass. Ahmed Carroll was rated a 78 and the Packers just cut his ass on a Tuesday morning after his performance in a Monday night game. That is pretty terrible. The worst part is that his overall rating was sniffing 80.
You know what, John? Two can play this game. I rate you a fucking 12. I rate you a fucking 12 in Ethan Albright Football 2000-ever… except for in the category of ball-licking. That is where I will spot you a 98 rating. You will receive this score because I will never give your blubbery ass a 99 in any category. Take that, pencil-dick. Go do Al Micheals or something. Boom. Score one for Red Beard.
It’s also pretty wonderful that my awareness rating was 59. You make it sound like I wake up in the morning, helplessly shit and piss myself, then lose three of my teeth before I discover that I am trying to eat a rock for breakfast. Fuck, John, I understand you saying that I am slow and lacking athleticism, but a rating like this pretty much labels me as retarded. Rod “He Hate Me” Smart has a 52 in this category. Electronic Arts is saying that seven rating points separate me and the breathing embodiment of the perfect oxymoron. Rod Smart struggled to arrange words in sentence form. Cave men had better hold of the English language. The only actions that separate point values of ignorance at this embarrassing level are things like using your own toothbrush to wipe your ass. I basically edged out Rod by my lack of shit teeth. If I take a night school class, could you bump me up to a 60?
I guess I just can’t fathom the fact that I am the absolute worst player rated out of the entire NFL. Fuck, man, there are some shitty guys out there. Amongst everyone, I was rated the absolute worst.
I have received the impression that you feel that I am lacking in the agility category. I should consider a walk through my living room where I don’t crash trough a wall or kick over furniture a resounding success. My agility rating on your game is 33. It makes it sound like I just topple over if I start walking too fast. Ted Washington is rated a 40 in agility. He is listed at 365 ponds. If Ted Washington tied a white lady up and made her wear a metal bikini, he’d look just like Jabba the Hut.
John, you are such a fucking dick. I also noticed that my kick return rating was a 0. I was rated a fucking zero? So you feel that I shouldn’t even receive a 10, or even a 5? You are pretty much saying that I couldn’t even fall forward on a ball kicked in my direction. I would just stand there and let the ball bounce off of my fucking face. Fuck that, John, I returned an onside kick 6 yards in 2002. You should have just slapped a - 4 on me and had the EA staff ambush me with paintball guns.
Finally, I would like to comment on an unlikely topic, my pass coverage ratings. I see that I am a better at man-to-man coverage (31) than zone (21). Fuck me sideways with a lunchbox. Where did these scores even come from? How much time is spent coming up with the pass coverage ratings of offensive lineman? Can I have that job? Let’s see here, I think that Orlando Pace would be slightly better at jumping intermediate routes than Larry Allen. While I’m at it, I can assign the passing ratings for offensive lineman as well. I can use mine as a guide.
I was rated with a throwing power of 17 and accuracy of 16. Orlando Pace is has a 22 power and 17 accuracy rating. Did someone at EA really put time into figuring out that Orlando Pace edges out Ethan Albright in both throwing power and accuracy? I will challenge him any day. My horrible passer ratings are of greatest misfortune to my son, Red Beard Jr. The poor boy is not only hideously ugly and covered by freakishly large freckles. He also has to suffer through playing catch with me and my senile-elderly-woman-type passer ratings. A session of tossing the pigskin usually consists of me missing my son by thirty yards in sporadic directions. I led him in front of a fire truck once and my wife kicked my ass. This is because of my 76 toughness rating. Yes, a 76 is far better than the other ratings, but I’m a fucking lineman, damn it. NFL Linemen are considered to be synonymous with toughness. According to your game, I am a retarded, uncoordinated, pussy-ass fuckwad that can’t fall on a kickoff, throw, or spell. I am, however, slightly better at manning up on a receiver than dropping into zone coverage. You lose your mind more and more each year, old man.
When I'm not snapping balls, I snap necks.
Fuck you, John. Please expect to find red pubes in various meals you consume for the rest of your life. If you fuck with Ethan Albright, you call down the thunder.
Rot in Hell,
Ethan Albright
Tue Dec 26, 2006 4:04 pm
Tue Dec 26, 2006 4:41 pm
You know what, John? Two can play this game. I rate you a fucking 12. I rate you a fucking 12 in Ethan Albright Football 2000-ever… except for in the category of ball-licking. That is where I will spot you a 98 rating. You will receive this score because I will never give your blubbery ass a 99 in any category. Take that, pencil-dick.
Tue Dec 26, 2006 4:42 pm
Fri Jan 05, 2007 2:25 pm
Fri Jan 19, 2007 12:46 pm
Tue Jan 30, 2007 9:27 am
Wed Aug 15, 2007 10:17 am
Wed Aug 15, 2007 11:04 am
Wed Aug 15, 2007 5:50 pm
Wed Aug 15, 2007 6:07 pm
Wed Aug 15, 2007 9:04 pm
BigKaboom2 wrote:Can we just make this a general Madden thread instead of 07?
Wed Aug 15, 2007 9:11 pm
Ty-Land wrote:BigKaboom2 wrote:Can we just make this a general Madden thread instead of 07?
Sure can. Enjoy
Thu Aug 16, 2007 3:49 am
Qballer wrote:Ty-Land wrote:BigKaboom2 wrote:Can we just make this a general Madden thread instead of 07?
Sure can. Enjoy
ahhh somebody didn't like my BOOM! title?
although i gotta admit it was pretty retarded lol
Fri Aug 17, 2007 7:24 am
Sat Aug 18, 2007 6:22 am
EA Sports Speaks on Xbox 360 Advantage Over PS3 in Madden NFL 08
Marcus Yam (Blog) - August 15, 2007 9:43 AM
EA explains why Madden NFL 08 runs faster on the Xbox 360
When it comes to a videogame franchise that gets the most repeat business, it’s hard to tackle the dominance of EA Sports’ Madden NFL games.
For football fans, Madden is the game to get every early fall. This year, the Madden NFL 08 release is extra special for those on warring sides of the console superiority debate. EA Sports made it no secret that the Xbox 360 version of the game would be the best console version of the game that is capable of running at 60 frames-per-second.
Sadly for Sony faithful, EA Sports said that the PlayStation 3 version of Madden NFL 08 will run at around 30 frames-per-second – half that of the Xbox 360 version.
Although reviews of the game following its release on Tuesday indicate that the PlayStation 3 version of Madden NFL 08 isn’t unplayable due to its choppier frame rate, the Xbox 360 version is vastly preferred for its smoother animations.
Fanboys will surely use the technical differences between the two console versions to support their own side, but the truth may be as simple as a different learning curve. A gamer emailed EA Sports inquiring about the differences between the two versions, and received a response from Rob M., EA Sports senior technical support, with an explanation, as posted on Maxconsole.
“While we fully understand your frustration with the limitations the technology has placed against the video frames per second of the game play on the PlayStation 3 game console, it was out intent to put out the best possible with Madden across 10 platforms,” wrote Rob M. of EA Sports. “While it is very simple to draw a conclusion based on the end-user experience with the game technology, what most people do not realize is hours of research which goes into fully understanding the hardware demands for each console.
“In the case of the next-generation consoles, many publishers have been developing titles for the Xbox 360 for over 3 1/2 years while everyone who publishes now for the PlayStation 3 with the exception of Sony has been developing for the PlayStation 3 for only a little over one full year. The differences in the overall knowledge of the hardware is vastly different for both consoles and, as is the case with newer technology, it is very difficult to get it right the first time.”
The response from EA Sports notes that 30 frames per second is the standard for all PS3 football games this year, not just Madden, but also NCAA Football, and 2K Sports' offerings as well.
Sun Aug 19, 2007 4:15 am
Tue Aug 21, 2007 4:27 am
Tue Aug 21, 2007 4:48 am
cheater1034 wrote:Anybody wanna play me online on the ps3
Wed Aug 22, 2007 7:49 am
Wed Aug 22, 2007 8:05 am
Fri Aug 31, 2007 6:44 am
Fri Aug 31, 2007 7:42 am
Mon Sep 03, 2007 9:35 am
Mon Sep 03, 2007 9:56 am
volsey wrote:Anyways I'm done bitching, Young Buck, maybe you won the pre season games so easily cause the other teams weren't playing their starters? And is there sliders that you can turn down to fix the fumbling problem cause most of the reviewers have said there's been fumbling problems.