Fri Apr 14, 2006 9:36 am
Yo momma's so fat.....even I feel fat. 
Fri Apr 14, 2006 9:40 am
From 'Remember the Titans':
Petey Jones: Hey, hey, Lastik man what happened to you?
Louie Lastik: [holding back, in fake pain] Man I just gave your momma a piggy-back ride and she weighs twice as much as I do!
Petey Jones: That ain't funny!
Fri Apr 14, 2006 2:08 pm
Yo momma is so dumb, when she tried to commit a suiside she jumped out of the basement window
Fri Apr 14, 2006 2:15 pm
Do basements even have windows?
Fri Apr 14, 2006 2:18 pm
yo momma is so fat that when i tried to drive around her, I ran out of gas.
Fri Apr 14, 2006 2:32 pm
Yo momma so black, when she put some cheese in her mouth, she looked like a black angus burger
Yo momma so greasy, she use bacon to take a bath
Yo momma chest so hairy, her titties look like coconuts
Yo momma so greasy, she use bacon to take a bath
Yo momma chest so hairy, her titties look like coconuts
Fri Apr 14, 2006 2:38 pm
Yo mamma's so fat that there isn't even anything in the universe I can compare her to!
I suck at these...
I suck at these...
Sat Apr 15, 2006 3:51 am
koberulz wrote:Do basements even have windows?
Some do. They're really small, they're on the bottom of the house (or on the top of the basement wall) and usually have bars on them.
Sat Apr 15, 2006 5:18 am
I really hope this is enough yo mama jokes.
Yo Mamas So Fat...
Yo mama so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up
Yo mama so fat her nickname is "Lardo"
Yo mama so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.
Yo mama so fat were in her right now
Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise
Yo mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone
Yo mama so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors
Yo mamma so fat you haveta roll over twice to get off her...
Yo mama so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for then new world
Yo mama so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy
Yo mama so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop!
Yo mama so fat when she has wants someone to shake her hand, she has to give directions!
Yo mama so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"
Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!"
Yo mama so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized
Yo mama so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway
Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller
Yo mama so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets
Yo mama so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th
Yo mama so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too
Yo mama so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"
Yo mama so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!
Yo mama so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"
Yo mama so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.
Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it.
Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.
Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock.
Yo mama so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs!
Yo mama so fat she's got her own area code!
Yo mama so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon!
Yo mama so fat God couldn't light Earth until she moved!
Yo mama so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!
Yo mama so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!
Yo mama so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago...
Yo mama so fat she's got Amtrak written on her leg.
Yo mama so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!
Yo mama so fat her legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky!
Yo mama so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the her good side!
Yo mama so fat she wakes up in sections!
Yo mama so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!
Yo mama so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of george washington's nose.
Yo mama so fat she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar!
Yo mama so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!
Yo mama so fat when she bunje jumps she goes straight to hell!
Yo mama so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!!
Yo mama so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book!
Yo mama so fat that her senior pictures had to be arial views!
Yo mama so fat she's on both sides of the family!
Yo mama so fat everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!
Yo mama so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!
Yo mama so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in!
Yo mama so fat even her clothes have stretch marks!
Yo mama so fat she has a wooden leg with a kickstand!
Yo mama so fat she has to use a VCR as a beeper!
Yo mama so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out!
Yo mama so fat when she rides in a hot air balloon, it looks like she's wearin tights!
Yo mama so fat she got hit by a parked car!
Yo mama so fat they have to grease the bath tub to get her out!
Yo mama so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans!
Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.
Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat people say "Taxi!"
Yo mama so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway!
Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller!
Yo mama so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave she landed on 12th
Yo mama so fat when she bungee jumps she pulls down the bridge too
Yo mama so fat she steps on a scale & it goes one at a time please
Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it!
Yo mama so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck!
Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it.
Yo mama so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.
Yo mama so fat they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping
Yo mama so fat when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, they hit the ground.
Yo mama so fat when she back up she beep.
Yo mama so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck.
Yo mama so fat she has to buy two airline tickets.
Yo mama so fat when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.
Yo mama so fat she influences the tides.
Yo mama so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.
Yo mama so fat she broke her leg and gravy fell out.
Yo mama so fat the animals at the zoo feed her.
Yo mama so fat she was baptized at Marine World.
Yo mama so fat she's on both sides of the family!
Yo mama so fat when she dances at a concert the whole band skips.
Yo mama so fat the Aids quilt wouldn't cover her
Yo mama so fat she stands in two time zones.
Yo mama so fat I tried to drive around her and I ran out of gas.
Yo mama so fat she left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flip flops.
Yo mama so fat shes on both sides of the family
Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through
Yo mama so fat when she goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.
Yo mama so fat that she cant tie her own shoes.
Yo mama so fat sets off car alarms when she runs.
Yo mama so fat she cant reach her back pocket.
Yo mama so fat when she wears one of those X jackets, helicopters try to land on her back!
Yo mama so fat her college graduation picture was an airial.
Yo mama so fat she lays on the beach and greenpeace tried to push her back in the water
Yo mama so fat she broke her leg and gravy poured out
Yo mama so fat she uses redwoods to pick her teeth
Yo mama so fat the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures
Yo mama so fat she jumped in the air and got stuck.
Yo mama so fat she put on some BVD's and by the time they reached her waist they spelled out boulevard.
Yo mama so fat she sat on a dollar and squeezed a booger out George Washington's nose.
Yo mama so fat she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles.
Yo mama so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon.
Yo mama so fat that when she sits on the beach, Greenpeace shows up and tries to tow her back into the ocean.....
Yo mama so fat that she would have been in E.T., but when she rode the bike across the moon, she caused an eclipse.
Yo mama so fat she hoola-hooped the super bowl.
Yo mama so fat she was baptised in the ocean.
Yo mama so fat she has to iron her clothes in the driveway.
Yo mama so fat they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.
Yo mama so fat when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?"
Yo mama so fat when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow!
Yo mama so fat that when whe was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.
Yo mama so fat we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet.
Yo Mamas So Stupid....
Yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes
Yo mama so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends
Yo mama so stupid when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon
Yo mama so stupid she told everyone that she was "illegitiment" because she couldn't read
Yo mama so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind
Yo mama so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl
Yo mama so stupid you have to dig for her IQ!
Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!
Yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes!
Yo mama so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!
Yo mama so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone!
Yo mama so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money!
Yo mama so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight!
Yo mama so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!
Yo mama so stupid she took a cup to see Juice.
Yo mama so stupid that she sold the car for gas money.
Yo mama so stupid she asked you "What is the number for 911"
Yo mama so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
Yo mama so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put "O.K."
Yo mama so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out.
Yo mama so stupid she stole free bread.
Yo mama so stupid she took a spoon to the superbowl.
Yo mama so stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check.
Yo mama so stupid she stepped on a crack and broke her own back.
Yo mama so stupid she makes Beavis and Butt-Head look like Nobel Prize winners.
Yo mama so stupid she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.
Yo mama so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.
Yo mama so stupid when you stand next to her you hear the ocean!
Yo mama so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl
Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!
Yo mama so stupid she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonalds!
Yo mama so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!
Yo mama so stupid that she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.
Yo mama so stupid she bought a videocamera to record cable tv shows at home.
Yo mama so stupid when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.
Yo mama so stupid she jumped out the window and went up.
Yo mama so stupid she thought a quarterback was an income tax refund.
Yo mama so stupid she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain.
Yo mama so stupid that under "Education" on her job apllication, she put "Hooked on Phonics."
Yo mama so stupid she put out the cigarette butt that was heating your house.
Yo mama so stupid she put lipstick on her forehead, talking about she was trying to makeup her mind.
Yo mama so stupid she watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes.
Yo Mamas So Ugly....
he put the Boogie man outta business.
she make Michael Jackson look like Brad Pitt
when she wobbles down the street in September, folk say, "Damn it, can't believe it's Halloween already..."
when she applied for the ugly contest they told her 'NO Professionals'
she looked out her window and was arrested for indecent exposure!
minutes after she was born her Mother shouted 'What a treasure!" and her Poppa said "Yes, now let's go and bury her..."
they push her face into the dough mixture when making Monster cookies.
when they took her to the Beautician it took 10 hours....and that was just for the quote!
yer Daddy takes her to work each day so he doesny have to kiss her goodbye...
she put Marilyn Manson out of business.
she was a guard at Snake Mountain
they knew what time she was born cuz her face stopped the clock...
even Harry Knowles refused to date her.
they embalmed her face on a box of super-strength laxatives and sold it empty!
she gets 364 extra days just to dress up for Halloween.
Tony Blair moved Halloween to her birthday.
you papa throws the ugly stick and she goes fetches it every time.
she scared the stitching outta Frankenstein.
we had to tie a steak round her neck so the dogs would play with her.
I heard yer Father first met her at the Zoo.
her shadow gave up.
people at the Zoo pay cash so they DON't have to see her...
her mom had to be Pissed drunk just to breast feed her.
when born, the doctors had to fit her incubator with tinted windows.
hotel managers use her picture to keep away the Rats.
instead of round the ankles, they put the Bungee Jumping cord round her neck.
they gave her a middle name...'accident'.
she fell out of the Ugly Tree, hitting every branch on the way down.
when she walked into the Haunted House, she came back out with a Job Application!
even Slicky Willy Clinton refused to sleep with her...
when she was born the Doc smacked her face.
You Momma so Ugly that she's got her very own Crazy Pranks & Hilarious Gags named after her...
Anything Yo's - So Ugly...
Yo Poppa so ugly he turned Medusa to Stone.
Yo Postman so freakin ugly he made the guard dogs shit themselves.
Yo Dentist so ugly they don't need anasthetics
Yo Boss so ugly people go as him for halloween.
Yo Priest so ugly that he have to give his Sermon from inside the Confessional Box.
Yo Teacher so ugly when she walks into the Building Society they turn off the CCTV cameras.
Yo Sister so Ugly that George Lucas cast her in Star Wars 3 as Jabbas wife - without the need for a costume.
Your kid bro so ugly that for Halloween he tricks or treats on his mobile phone!
Your Kid sister so damn ugly that when she sits on a sand dune at the beach, the cats try to bury her.
You cousin so ugly that when he threw a boomerang, it refused to come back.
Yo Driving Instructor's so ugly he has to wear a ski-mask when teaching.
Yo Mother-in-law so ugly, she won first place in the Wookie lookalike contest.
Your Girlfriend's so insanely ugly that I can screw her in any position and it's still Doggy-style!
Yo Girlfriend so ugly they put her in the Chimp enclosure to stop the Chimpanzee's from jerking off!
Yo' Father in law so ugly that his American Express card left home without him...
Yo Sister's so ugly that she must been conceived on the Motorway - ain't that where most accidents happen?
Yo Dog walker so ugly that he once took your Mutt to Crufts and WON - oh, the dog came second...
Your sister-in-law so god awful ugly that Durex want to use her as a poster child.
Yo Father's so ugly his hairline ain't receding...it's his hair that's running away from his ugly noggin.
You Grandma's so Ugly her Shrink makes her lie face down on the couch.
Your Grandpa so freakin ugly that when he gets up in the mornin, the Sun goes down.
Yo' Mum so ugli that even Prince Charming refuses to kiss her - he'd rather live as a frog.
Yo older sister so ugly that Mommy had to feed her with a fishing rod.
Yo Uncle so astonishingly ugly that whenever he comes over and goes to your bathroom, the toilet flushes.
Your Dog's so ugly as yo Momma that I had to shave its arse and make it walk backwards...
Yo mama's so ugly, hold on....you got a mirror handy???
Yo Mama's sister so ugly that Blind men refuse to have sex with her.
Yo Uncle so ugly, Spielberg wants him in Addams Family 3
Your kid so ugly the Doctor is STILL smacking his ass.
Yo Mother in law so hellishly ugly, that president George W Bush is considering making ugliness a crime, punishable by the electric chair
Yo Momma's so ugly that she hurt my feelings...
Your doctor's so ugly she manages to give Freddy Kreuger Nightmares!
Yo Mamas So Poor....
that your family ate Cornflakes with a fork to save milk.
they put her photo on food stamps.
when I visited her trailer, 2 cockroaches tripped me and a Rat tried to steal me wallet.
she waves an ice lolly around and calls it Air conditioning.
burglars break into her home and leave money.
when I told her about the last supper she thought the food stamps had run out.
the building society repossed her cardboard box.
she watches television on an Etch-A-Sketch.
each night she goes to KFC to lick other folk's fingers
she can't even afford to go to the free clinic.
when I saw her kickin a can down the road I asked her what she was doing....'Moving' she replied.
I caught her trying to use food stamps in the Gobstopper machine.
when I rang her doorbell, SHE said 'Ding-Dong'
I asked her where the 'facilities were' and she replied - "Pick a corner...ANY corner..."
I visited her house, tore down the cob webs and she screamed - "Who's tearing down the drapes!!!!"
I walked into her home, asked if I could use her toilet, and she said "Sure thing, it's 4th tree on your right..."
only time she smelled Hot Food was when a rich bloke farted...
when I saw her wobbling down the street with 1 shoe, I hollered - "Lost a shoe?", and she said - "Nope...just found one..."
she hangs the Toilet paper out to dry.
closest thing to a car she owns is a low-riding Shopping trolley....with a box on it...
she had to take out a second mortgage on her cardboard box.
I went into her 'living room', stepped on a Fag butt and she shouted - "Oi, who turned off the heater!"
I once threw a stone at a garbage can, and out she popped saying - "Who knocked???"
I went through her front door and tripped over the back fence.
she does drive by shootings on the school bus.
when she asked me over to dinner I took a paper plate from the kitchen and she groule - "Don't use the good china"
You Momma so Poor it took her 10 years to pay for a 5 dollar Crazy Prank & Hilarious Gag set...
Anything Yo's - So Poor...
You're so poor even Beggars give you money.
Yo Grannie so damn poor she bounces food stamps.
Your Teachers so poor she can't even afford to pay attention.
Yo Priest so poor he uses cardboard and ribena as bread and wine substitutes.
Yo Doctor so poor, he uses chewing gum as a bandaid.
You family so poor you's live in a 2-story Cracker Jack box.
Yo sister is so po...shit, she can't even afford them last 2 letters!
Yo Dentist is so poor she uses white-out/tippex as your tooth filler.
Yo' Cleaner so poor she can't afford a mop - she stands on her head in order to mop the floor...
Yo Poppa so poor his idea of Desert was to go outside and collect the 'yellow snow'...and yo loved it, didn't ya!
You Star Wars friend so insanely poor that I walked into his house, asked to use the bathroom, and he handed me a shovel saying: "May the force be with you."
Yo Father so poor that when I aks him what for dinner, he take off his shoelaces and says - Spaghetti!
Yo older sis getting so poor she's planning on getting married...just so she can get the rice at the wedding.
Your lecturer so poor he uses his cardboard box as a blackboard.
Yo' so poor, you get more government handouts than an English farmer
Yo' best friend so poor he have to fart just to get a scent (cent).
Yo Gossiping wife so poor she can't even afford to put her two cents into this conversation...
Yo Grannie so poor that when I asked her what's for dinner, she tried to throw ME in the oven!
Yo' Mommy so poor I went over for dinner, saw 3 beans on the table...took one and she said - "Don't be greedy!"
You Auntie's so poor she gotta live in a 2-story Dorritos bag...
Yo big brother so freakin poor I stepped on his old banged up skateboard and he yelled - "Get off my F****in CAR"
Yo Computer geek friend so poor he uses a Commodore 64 to surf the web.
Your pimp so poor he just bought an imitation of a fake Rolex
Yo Reverand so poor the congregation run over animals outside the church just to help with food...
Yo Gardener's so damn poor that when I pissed in his yard he thanked me for watering the lawn...
Yo Mama's so damn poor, her front porch matt says 'Wel'...
You so piss poor...hold on, you don't have a pot to piss in or even a window to throw it out of...
Yo Uncle so poor I went into his house, swatted a pesky firefly and he screamed - "Who turned out the lights?"
Yo Nana so sickenly poor I walks into her house, asked to use the toilet and she hand me 2 large sticks. I ask what they're for and she says: "Use one to hold up the ceiling...use the other to fight off the cockroaches..."
Yo half-sister so damn poor even the Republicans were willing to give her welfare.
Yo Mamas So Fat...
Yo mama so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up
Yo mama so fat her nickname is "Lardo"
Yo mama so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.
Yo mama so fat were in her right now
Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise
Yo mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone
Yo mama so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors
Yo mamma so fat you haveta roll over twice to get off her...
Yo mama so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for then new world
Yo mama so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy
Yo mama so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop!
Yo mama so fat when she has wants someone to shake her hand, she has to give directions!
Yo mama so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"
Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!"
Yo mama so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized
Yo mama so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway
Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller
Yo mama so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets
Yo mama so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th
Yo mama so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too
Yo mama so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"
Yo mama so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!
Yo mama so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"
Yo mama so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.
Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it.
Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.
Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock.
Yo mama so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs!
Yo mama so fat she's got her own area code!
Yo mama so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon!
Yo mama so fat God couldn't light Earth until she moved!
Yo mama so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!
Yo mama so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!
Yo mama so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago...
Yo mama so fat she's got Amtrak written on her leg.
Yo mama so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!
Yo mama so fat her legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky!
Yo mama so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the her good side!
Yo mama so fat she wakes up in sections!
Yo mama so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!
Yo mama so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of george washington's nose.
Yo mama so fat she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar!
Yo mama so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!
Yo mama so fat when she bunje jumps she goes straight to hell!
Yo mama so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!!
Yo mama so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book!
Yo mama so fat that her senior pictures had to be arial views!
Yo mama so fat she's on both sides of the family!
Yo mama so fat everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!
Yo mama so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!
Yo mama so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in!
Yo mama so fat even her clothes have stretch marks!
Yo mama so fat she has a wooden leg with a kickstand!
Yo mama so fat she has to use a VCR as a beeper!
Yo mama so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out!
Yo mama so fat when she rides in a hot air balloon, it looks like she's wearin tights!
Yo mama so fat she got hit by a parked car!
Yo mama so fat they have to grease the bath tub to get her out!
Yo mama so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans!
Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.
Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat people say "Taxi!"
Yo mama so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway!
Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller!
Yo mama so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave she landed on 12th
Yo mama so fat when she bungee jumps she pulls down the bridge too
Yo mama so fat she steps on a scale & it goes one at a time please
Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it!
Yo mama so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck!
Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it.
Yo mama so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.
Yo mama so fat they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping
Yo mama so fat when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, they hit the ground.
Yo mama so fat when she back up she beep.
Yo mama so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck.
Yo mama so fat she has to buy two airline tickets.
Yo mama so fat when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.
Yo mama so fat she influences the tides.
Yo mama so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.
Yo mama so fat she broke her leg and gravy fell out.
Yo mama so fat the animals at the zoo feed her.
Yo mama so fat she was baptized at Marine World.
Yo mama so fat she's on both sides of the family!
Yo mama so fat when she dances at a concert the whole band skips.
Yo mama so fat the Aids quilt wouldn't cover her
Yo mama so fat she stands in two time zones.
Yo mama so fat I tried to drive around her and I ran out of gas.
Yo mama so fat she left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flip flops.
Yo mama so fat shes on both sides of the family
Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through
Yo mama so fat when she goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.
Yo mama so fat that she cant tie her own shoes.
Yo mama so fat sets off car alarms when she runs.
Yo mama so fat she cant reach her back pocket.
Yo mama so fat when she wears one of those X jackets, helicopters try to land on her back!
Yo mama so fat her college graduation picture was an airial.
Yo mama so fat she lays on the beach and greenpeace tried to push her back in the water
Yo mama so fat she broke her leg and gravy poured out
Yo mama so fat she uses redwoods to pick her teeth
Yo mama so fat the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures
Yo mama so fat she jumped in the air and got stuck.
Yo mama so fat she put on some BVD's and by the time they reached her waist they spelled out boulevard.
Yo mama so fat she sat on a dollar and squeezed a booger out George Washington's nose.
Yo mama so fat she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles.
Yo mama so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon.
Yo mama so fat that when she sits on the beach, Greenpeace shows up and tries to tow her back into the ocean.....
Yo mama so fat that she would have been in E.T., but when she rode the bike across the moon, she caused an eclipse.
Yo mama so fat she hoola-hooped the super bowl.
Yo mama so fat she was baptised in the ocean.
Yo mama so fat she has to iron her clothes in the driveway.
Yo mama so fat they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.
Yo mama so fat when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?"
Yo mama so fat when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow!
Yo mama so fat that when whe was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.
Yo mama so fat we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet.
Yo Mamas So Stupid....
Yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes
Yo mama so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends
Yo mama so stupid when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon
Yo mama so stupid she told everyone that she was "illegitiment" because she couldn't read
Yo mama so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind
Yo mama so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl
Yo mama so stupid you have to dig for her IQ!
Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!
Yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes!
Yo mama so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!
Yo mama so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone!
Yo mama so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money!
Yo mama so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight!
Yo mama so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!
Yo mama so stupid she took a cup to see Juice.
Yo mama so stupid that she sold the car for gas money.
Yo mama so stupid she asked you "What is the number for 911"
Yo mama so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
Yo mama so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put "O.K."
Yo mama so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out.
Yo mama so stupid she stole free bread.
Yo mama so stupid she took a spoon to the superbowl.
Yo mama so stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check.
Yo mama so stupid she stepped on a crack and broke her own back.
Yo mama so stupid she makes Beavis and Butt-Head look like Nobel Prize winners.
Yo mama so stupid she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.
Yo mama so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.
Yo mama so stupid when you stand next to her you hear the ocean!
Yo mama so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl
Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!
Yo mama so stupid she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonalds!
Yo mama so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!
Yo mama so stupid that she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.
Yo mama so stupid she bought a videocamera to record cable tv shows at home.
Yo mama so stupid when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.
Yo mama so stupid she jumped out the window and went up.
Yo mama so stupid she thought a quarterback was an income tax refund.
Yo mama so stupid she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain.
Yo mama so stupid that under "Education" on her job apllication, she put "Hooked on Phonics."
Yo mama so stupid she put out the cigarette butt that was heating your house.
Yo mama so stupid she put lipstick on her forehead, talking about she was trying to makeup her mind.
Yo mama so stupid she watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes.
Yo Mamas So Ugly....
he put the Boogie man outta business.
she make Michael Jackson look like Brad Pitt
when she wobbles down the street in September, folk say, "Damn it, can't believe it's Halloween already..."
when she applied for the ugly contest they told her 'NO Professionals'
she looked out her window and was arrested for indecent exposure!
minutes after she was born her Mother shouted 'What a treasure!" and her Poppa said "Yes, now let's go and bury her..."
they push her face into the dough mixture when making Monster cookies.
when they took her to the Beautician it took 10 hours....and that was just for the quote!
yer Daddy takes her to work each day so he doesny have to kiss her goodbye...
she put Marilyn Manson out of business.
she was a guard at Snake Mountain
they knew what time she was born cuz her face stopped the clock...
even Harry Knowles refused to date her.
they embalmed her face on a box of super-strength laxatives and sold it empty!
she gets 364 extra days just to dress up for Halloween.
Tony Blair moved Halloween to her birthday.
you papa throws the ugly stick and she goes fetches it every time.
she scared the stitching outta Frankenstein.
we had to tie a steak round her neck so the dogs would play with her.
I heard yer Father first met her at the Zoo.
her shadow gave up.
people at the Zoo pay cash so they DON't have to see her...
her mom had to be Pissed drunk just to breast feed her.
when born, the doctors had to fit her incubator with tinted windows.
hotel managers use her picture to keep away the Rats.
instead of round the ankles, they put the Bungee Jumping cord round her neck.
they gave her a middle name...'accident'.
she fell out of the Ugly Tree, hitting every branch on the way down.
when she walked into the Haunted House, she came back out with a Job Application!
even Slicky Willy Clinton refused to sleep with her...
when she was born the Doc smacked her face.
You Momma so Ugly that she's got her very own Crazy Pranks & Hilarious Gags named after her...
Anything Yo's - So Ugly...
Yo Poppa so ugly he turned Medusa to Stone.
Yo Postman so freakin ugly he made the guard dogs shit themselves.
Yo Dentist so ugly they don't need anasthetics
Yo Boss so ugly people go as him for halloween.
Yo Priest so ugly that he have to give his Sermon from inside the Confessional Box.
Yo Teacher so ugly when she walks into the Building Society they turn off the CCTV cameras.
Yo Sister so Ugly that George Lucas cast her in Star Wars 3 as Jabbas wife - without the need for a costume.
Your kid bro so ugly that for Halloween he tricks or treats on his mobile phone!
Your Kid sister so damn ugly that when she sits on a sand dune at the beach, the cats try to bury her.
You cousin so ugly that when he threw a boomerang, it refused to come back.
Yo Driving Instructor's so ugly he has to wear a ski-mask when teaching.
Yo Mother-in-law so ugly, she won first place in the Wookie lookalike contest.
Your Girlfriend's so insanely ugly that I can screw her in any position and it's still Doggy-style!
Yo Girlfriend so ugly they put her in the Chimp enclosure to stop the Chimpanzee's from jerking off!
Yo' Father in law so ugly that his American Express card left home without him...
Yo Sister's so ugly that she must been conceived on the Motorway - ain't that where most accidents happen?
Yo Dog walker so ugly that he once took your Mutt to Crufts and WON - oh, the dog came second...
Your sister-in-law so god awful ugly that Durex want to use her as a poster child.
Yo Father's so ugly his hairline ain't receding...it's his hair that's running away from his ugly noggin.
You Grandma's so Ugly her Shrink makes her lie face down on the couch.
Your Grandpa so freakin ugly that when he gets up in the mornin, the Sun goes down.
Yo' Mum so ugli that even Prince Charming refuses to kiss her - he'd rather live as a frog.
Yo older sister so ugly that Mommy had to feed her with a fishing rod.
Yo Uncle so astonishingly ugly that whenever he comes over and goes to your bathroom, the toilet flushes.
Your Dog's so ugly as yo Momma that I had to shave its arse and make it walk backwards...
Yo mama's so ugly, hold on....you got a mirror handy???
Yo Mama's sister so ugly that Blind men refuse to have sex with her.
Yo Uncle so ugly, Spielberg wants him in Addams Family 3
Your kid so ugly the Doctor is STILL smacking his ass.
Yo Mother in law so hellishly ugly, that president George W Bush is considering making ugliness a crime, punishable by the electric chair
Yo Momma's so ugly that she hurt my feelings...
Your doctor's so ugly she manages to give Freddy Kreuger Nightmares!
Yo Mamas So Poor....
that your family ate Cornflakes with a fork to save milk.
they put her photo on food stamps.
when I visited her trailer, 2 cockroaches tripped me and a Rat tried to steal me wallet.
she waves an ice lolly around and calls it Air conditioning.
burglars break into her home and leave money.
when I told her about the last supper she thought the food stamps had run out.
the building society repossed her cardboard box.
she watches television on an Etch-A-Sketch.
each night she goes to KFC to lick other folk's fingers
she can't even afford to go to the free clinic.
when I saw her kickin a can down the road I asked her what she was doing....'Moving' she replied.
I caught her trying to use food stamps in the Gobstopper machine.
when I rang her doorbell, SHE said 'Ding-Dong'
I asked her where the 'facilities were' and she replied - "Pick a corner...ANY corner..."
I visited her house, tore down the cob webs and she screamed - "Who's tearing down the drapes!!!!"
I walked into her home, asked if I could use her toilet, and she said "Sure thing, it's 4th tree on your right..."
only time she smelled Hot Food was when a rich bloke farted...
when I saw her wobbling down the street with 1 shoe, I hollered - "Lost a shoe?", and she said - "Nope...just found one..."
she hangs the Toilet paper out to dry.
closest thing to a car she owns is a low-riding Shopping trolley....with a box on it...
she had to take out a second mortgage on her cardboard box.
I went into her 'living room', stepped on a Fag butt and she shouted - "Oi, who turned off the heater!"
I once threw a stone at a garbage can, and out she popped saying - "Who knocked???"
I went through her front door and tripped over the back fence.
she does drive by shootings on the school bus.
when she asked me over to dinner I took a paper plate from the kitchen and she groule - "Don't use the good china"
You Momma so Poor it took her 10 years to pay for a 5 dollar Crazy Prank & Hilarious Gag set...
Anything Yo's - So Poor...
You're so poor even Beggars give you money.
Yo Grannie so damn poor she bounces food stamps.
Your Teachers so poor she can't even afford to pay attention.
Yo Priest so poor he uses cardboard and ribena as bread and wine substitutes.
Yo Doctor so poor, he uses chewing gum as a bandaid.
You family so poor you's live in a 2-story Cracker Jack box.
Yo sister is so po...shit, she can't even afford them last 2 letters!
Yo Dentist is so poor she uses white-out/tippex as your tooth filler.
Yo' Cleaner so poor she can't afford a mop - she stands on her head in order to mop the floor...
Yo Poppa so poor his idea of Desert was to go outside and collect the 'yellow snow'...and yo loved it, didn't ya!
You Star Wars friend so insanely poor that I walked into his house, asked to use the bathroom, and he handed me a shovel saying: "May the force be with you."
Yo Father so poor that when I aks him what for dinner, he take off his shoelaces and says - Spaghetti!
Yo older sis getting so poor she's planning on getting married...just so she can get the rice at the wedding.
Your lecturer so poor he uses his cardboard box as a blackboard.
Yo' so poor, you get more government handouts than an English farmer
Yo' best friend so poor he have to fart just to get a scent (cent).
Yo Gossiping wife so poor she can't even afford to put her two cents into this conversation...
Yo Grannie so poor that when I asked her what's for dinner, she tried to throw ME in the oven!
Yo' Mommy so poor I went over for dinner, saw 3 beans on the table...took one and she said - "Don't be greedy!"
You Auntie's so poor she gotta live in a 2-story Dorritos bag...
Yo big brother so freakin poor I stepped on his old banged up skateboard and he yelled - "Get off my F****in CAR"
Yo Computer geek friend so poor he uses a Commodore 64 to surf the web.
Your pimp so poor he just bought an imitation of a fake Rolex
Yo Reverand so poor the congregation run over animals outside the church just to help with food...
Yo Gardener's so damn poor that when I pissed in his yard he thanked me for watering the lawn...
Yo Mama's so damn poor, her front porch matt says 'Wel'...
You so piss poor...hold on, you don't have a pot to piss in or even a window to throw it out of...
Yo Uncle so poor I went into his house, swatted a pesky firefly and he screamed - "Who turned out the lights?"
Yo Nana so sickenly poor I walks into her house, asked to use the toilet and she hand me 2 large sticks. I ask what they're for and she says: "Use one to hold up the ceiling...use the other to fight off the cockroaches..."
Yo half-sister so damn poor even the Republicans were willing to give her welfare.
Sat Apr 15, 2006 6:28 am
Dude you ruined it.. 
Sat Apr 15, 2006 6:58 am
Yo momma is so stupid that she is Wankster...
Sat Apr 15, 2006 3:29 pm
Your mumma's so fat... when she wears a raincoat, people call "taxi!"
Sat Apr 15, 2006 3:35 pm
The only one I can remember is:
"Yo momma's like a Big Mac, full of fat and only worth a buck".
I never did like those...
"Yo momma's like a Big Mac, full of fat and only worth a buck".
I never did like those...
Sat Apr 15, 2006 8:07 pm
Thats a big list wankster.
Sun Apr 16, 2006 9:45 am
Thanks for spamming the thread with copy pasted jokes Wangster. The point is to think up your own jokes. Like this one...
Wankster is banned more than R. Kelly and micheal jackson at a day care centre.
Wankster is banned more than R. Kelly and micheal jackson at a day care centre.
Sun Apr 16, 2006 10:00 am
Oh sorry guys my bad
I thought this thread was just for posting the jokes. Sorry again.
I thought this thread was just for posting the jokes. Sorry again.
Sun Apr 16, 2006 5:08 pm
wankster wrote:Yo mama so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out.
Sun Apr 16, 2006 5:41 pm
I'm not sure if I heard this one from somewhere before but...
Yo mamma so fat that when she took a walk in Toyko, everyone paniced and yelled, "Godzilla!"
Yo mamma so fat that when she took a walk in Toyko, everyone paniced and yelled, "Godzilla!"