Dr. Jona's Office

I think your mom wants you to not join the military so she wouldn't have to worry about her son getting his head blown off.

She doesn't want me to join the military because she hates America, bush, war, ect. She's a modern day hippie.

maybe you should read a chapter outta her book man lol

why cant they bring ERAP back

they are all just the same.

I hate Ginobili. Can u help me to beat him up?

I think it would be better to stay at home, and hate him from a distance. Beating him up would not be a good idea.

Tell me Jona.. why is it such a powerful masterpiece such as I cannot live a happy life. Why am I always depressed about something..even though I got a great family, great job, and great future ahead of me.. I still cant maintain a happy lifestyle. I get mad really easy.. and I control myself from doing "bad things" to people. On the forum mostly.. and that fucking cocksucker Wisdom_Kid.. i hate that fucker! I wanna make him dissappear and I know I can but it would be wrong to do. Help me!

First of all, you should target the causes of your "depressions". What problems in your life make you depressed?
Tell me, do your depressions last more than three weeks, or do they make daily life very difficult? You should also check for physical symptoms. If those are present, you should worry and get help, because then it's an illness.
Most probably, they're just transitory. In your case, maybe you should focus more on the things that make you happy, or try to think about what you can change on your life to make it easier on you.
On the "getting mad easily", it's a very normal behaviour. You should try any exercise that encourages patience and understanding of the events that make you explode. I hope it's not a serious issue.
Wisdom_kid is someone you most probably will never see in your whole life, so you shouldn't get annoyed with his acts on an internet forum. Just try to ignore him, if his posts are not directed at you. It may be hard at first, but just try.

First of all, you should target the causes of your "depressions". What problems in your life make you depressed?
Tell me, do your depressions last more than three weeks, or do they make daily life very difficult? You should also check for physical symptoms. If those are present, you should worry and get help, because then it's an illness.
Most probably, they're just transitory. In your case, maybe you should focus more on the things that make you happy, or try to think about what you can change on your life to make it easier on you.
On the "getting mad easily", it's a very normal behaviour. You should try any exercise that encourages patience and understanding of the events that make you explode. I hope it's not a serious issue.
Wisdom_kid is someone you most probably will never see in your whole life, so you shouldn't get annoyed with his acts on an internet forum. Just try to ignore him, if his posts are not directed at you. It may be hard at first, but just try.

Thankyou doctor, I'm a changed man.

Glad to know I've helped a little!

Yea I know you can become a chef but whats some more easier jobs that i havent heard of?

Doctor , I have warts on my penis

Yea I know you can become a chef but whats some more easier jobs that i havent heard of?

You can literally become tons of things in the US Army or other armed forces. If you really are "interested", ask a recruiter, go to goarmy.com and go into the recruiter chats or ask for some information on careers.

why cant they bring ERAP back

they are all just the same.

no man my man ERAP is unique. he never steal money from the poeple. he has his own money and he invest it "wisely"

while our present president on the other hand @#$ $$%^1 &*%%52!#3 ahhhhh.......but thanks to Jona i am not sober now

Hey Wormy, go here and you can search for all the jobs the Army offers.

I'm sorry I don't know much about the jobs they offer, I've really considered being a soldier and not really anything else.

Alrighty, thanks a lot riot

Doctor , I have warts on my penis

If that's true, you may be infected with an STD.

Doctor , I have warts on my penis

If that's true, you may be infected with an STD.

man you're good.

on a more serious note..
there's this girl in one of my college classes and she looks right outta high school.. anyways i want to go up to her and talk to her and what not but she looks intimidating.. she keeps to herself and she looks pretty guarded.. lol.. what do you think she's thinking? how do i go about my business? thanks doc

I'm not the doc , but if shes a freshman , then I would understand . She never talks to anyone because she doesn't know anyone . so maybe you could be her first friend .Thats just my say in it though.

Bundle her into the bushes and rape her.

Bundle her into the bushes and rape her.

LMFAO, I almost got thrown out of the school library thanks to you Jae.

Bundle her into the bushes and rape her.

LMFAO, I almost got expelled from school for attemping that, thanks to you Jae.

From now on, I'm only taking advice from Dr. Jona.

(Thanks for the inspiration ceekay )

on a more serious note..
there's this girl in one of my college classes and she looks right outta high school.. anyways i want to go up to her and talk to her and what not but she looks intimidating.. she keeps to herself and she looks pretty guarded.. lol.. what do you think she's thinking? how do i go about my business? thanks doc

If she is a reserved person, then it may be easier to approach than if she was loud and outgoing. My first idea about what she's thinking is that she is new to this place, and is adjusting to it.
As Doobie said, you could be his first friend, and as time passes that could develop into something else.

LMFAO, I almost got expelled from school for attemping that, thanks to you Jae.

You're lucky you don't live in the US. I'd sue you for hurting my feelings.

Interesting sig Cy, I hadn't noticed it since now.
Is it part of a book, or what?

You're lucky you don't live in the US. I'd sue you for hurting my feelings.

I'm willing to pay for your first six sessions with a psychiatrist, then I won't have to feel so guilty anymore

Interesting sig Cy, I hadn't noticed it since now.
Is it part of a book, or what?

It's actually from one of my course packages, one article was discussing the body in a historical, theological, and philosophical perspective, and the author took an excerpt from (in my sig) the other guy's article. If you want, I can give you the name of the article, but it's a boring read. The excerpt was the only interesting thing I read, and I really liked it.

The army knocking on the door constantly would be just as irritating as the Jehovah's Witness's. I'd tell them both to fuck off. Only difference is that the Army have the potential to shoot me for it, nevertheless.

Once the Jehovas witness's came, and they handed me one of their pamphlets. I told them to hold on for a second while I went a got a donation. I burned half the pamphlet, and handed it back to them. I said, wait a minute I forgot, I hate god, and one of the guys told me I was the meanest person he had ever met.

If you want, I can give you the name of the article

I'd love that.

The army knocking on the door constantly would be just as irritating as the Jehovah's Witness's. I'd tell them both to fuck off. Only difference is that the Army have the potential to shoot me for it, nevertheless.

Once the Jehovas witness's came, and they handed me one of their pamphlets. I told them to hold on for a second while I went a got a donation. I burned half the pamphlet, and handed it back to them. I said, wait a minute I forgot, I hate god, and one of the guys told me I was the meanest person he had ever met.

that would've been the perfect time to ask if anyone needed a hug.

There was a news story a few years back here, where a guy invited in some mormons who had ridden their bikes to his house to preach. They came in and he gave them some cookies, so they ate them not knowing they were actually hash cookies. They got completely wasted and were petrified because they didn't know what had happened. They actually had footage of them trying to ride their bikes away from the house (the guy made the video) and they were falling off every 5 seconds I think the guy went to jail for it.

Jona: The article's called, "The Body: Precious Sacramental or Processed Artifact?" by M. Timothy Prokes, F.S.E.

The original quote in my sig is from the article by Richard Selzer, "The Surgeon as Priest" in the book Mortal Lessons: Notes on the Art of Surgery.

at the whole Jehovah's Witness stories