Jackal's Guide to Internet Flames Part I.

Other video games, TV shows, movies, general chit-chat...this is an all-purpose off-topic board where you can talk about anything that doesn't have its own dedicated section.

Jackal's Guide to Internet Flames Part I.

Postby Jackal on Fri Apr 22, 2005 5:53 am

This is just for jokes, don't actually follow the advise. Flaming is bad, people think you're old then. :lol:

  • Tell your opponent that the argument is over, because it's degenerated into pointlessness.... doing so at the end of your post giving you the lengthy last word in it.
  • Predict the imminent death of the Internet.
  • Call your opponent a Nazi.
  • Change the subject by pointing out all of your opponent's grammar and spelling mistakes.
  • Post some horribly vicious and insulting note about your opponent.... several minutes later, post a profuse apology, claiming that you'd intended to send the message privately to a friend.
  • a: Refer frequently to pretend hordes of lurking supporters, who have mailed you privately to express their agreement and gratitude.... but aren't willing to come out publicly and say anything. (See also here)
  • b: Accuse your opponent of trying to intimidate your hordes of supporters.... add indignantly that you "will not be silenced".
  • Attempt to impress/silence your opponent by discussing your professional credentials and experience related to the topic at hand, which clearly make your opinions better and more correct than anyone else's.... be vague about details if your credentials and experience aren't actually all that impressive. (Also known as "dueling resumes".)
  • Accuse your opponent of being overly sensitive, or suggest in a patronizing tone that they "must be having a bad day".
  • Claim that an insult or other rudeness was "just a joke", and suggest that your opponent has no sense of humor.
  • Claim that *everything* is a matter of opinion, that there are no such things as facts or truth.
  • a: Claim that facts are absolute.... that there's never any such thing as dispute or disagreement about a fact.
  • Assume that everything you learned in college, no matter how many years ago nor how much a field has advanced in the meantime, is completely unchanged.
  • Redefine words to mean whatever you want them to mean. (Also known as the "Humpty Dumpty" defense.)
  • Refuse to look something up, if challenged to do so.... no need, surely your memory is perfect.
  • Ask your opponent to supply lengthy and detailed references for their every statement.
  • Claim that if something works for you/your spouse/your kid/your parent/your best friend/your boss/your hairdresser's first cousin's dog's veterinarian, it will always work for everyone.... and if it doesn't, it's because they're not doing it right.

:lol:
Last edited by Jackal on Fri Apr 22, 2005 6:23 am, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
Jackal
 
Posts: 14877
Joined: Fri Mar 21, 2003 2:59 am

Postby The GOAT on Fri Apr 22, 2005 6:11 am

:lol:
Here's a good name:
Jackal's Guide to Internet Flames Part I

It's perfecto.
Image

There is no truth. There is only you and what you make the truth.
The GOAT
 
Posts: 3197
Joined: Mon Oct 06, 2003 11:06 am
Location: Long Island, New York

Postby Filip on Fri Apr 22, 2005 6:20 am

Call your opponent a Nazi

Been there done that :twisted:

Change the subject by pointing out all of your opponent's grammar and spelling mistakes.

Jae's favorite.

Attempt to impress/silence your opponent by discussing your professional credentials and experience related to the topic at hand, which clearly make your opinions better and more correct than anyone else's.... be vague about details if your credentials and experience aren't actually all that impressive. (Also known as "dueling resumes".)

Didn't KevC did that one the other day?


Quite (ok, I suspect that I well spell this wrong, but what the hell->) entertaining read.
User avatar
Filip
 
Posts: 3911
Joined: Fri Jan 03, 2003 7:59 am
Location: England

Postby iG® on Fri Apr 22, 2005 6:24 am

Well,Jackal,you'll have to write another guide,which will say the other what to do. :lol:
User avatar
iG®
 
Posts: 1545
Joined: Sat Jul 31, 2004 1:09 am
Location: Serbia, Belgrade

Postby Andrew on Fri Apr 22, 2005 11:17 am

It may be just for a joke, but it couldn't be more spot on. Nice one Jackal. (Y)

Disclaimer: That's complimenting Jackal on the joke, not a sarcastic piece of moderating. Believe it or not, I actually do have a sense of humour.
User avatar
Andrew
Retro Basketball Gamer
Administrator
 
Posts: 115150
Joined: Thu Aug 22, 2002 8:51 pm
Location: Australia

Postby AlwaysWhat,NeverWhy on Fri Apr 22, 2005 11:23 am

Believe it or not, I actually do have a sense of humour.


Most Bulls' fans do. I know by experience. Not too many of you were all that smiley and pleasant during the past 7 years though... I wonder why...

I seemed to have misplaced my sense of humour as well, for the past 10 years or so. Could it have something to do with the Warriors , I wonder? Hmmmm.... :?
User avatar
AlwaysWhat,NeverWhy
 
Posts: 5190
Joined: Thu Jan 27, 2005 11:30 am
Location: The Lodge...

Postby Doobie on Fri Apr 22, 2005 11:33 am

:D :D :D :D :D good stuff jacka;
New York Knicks
User avatar
Doobie
didn't do it.
 
Posts: 3662
Joined: Sat Jul 03, 2004 3:51 am
Location: NYC

Postby Andrew on Fri Apr 22, 2005 12:02 pm

Dr. DWeaver99027 wrote:Most Bulls' fans do. I know by experience. Not too many of you were all that smiley and pleasant during the past 7 years though... I wonder why...

I seemed to have misplaced my sense of humour as well, for the past 10 years or so. Could it have something to do with the Warriors , I wonder? Hmmmm.... :?


Tough times, tough times. :(
User avatar
Andrew
Retro Basketball Gamer
Administrator
 
Posts: 115150
Joined: Thu Aug 22, 2002 8:51 pm
Location: Australia

Postby Null17 on Fri Apr 22, 2005 12:43 pm

Change the subject by pointing out all of your opponent's grammar and spelling mistakes.


this seems to be very common around here
Null17
 
Posts: 4543
Joined: Thu Jan 29, 2004 6:55 pm
Location: Philippines

Postby Riot on Fri Apr 22, 2005 3:36 pm

Null17 wrote:
Change the subject by pointing out all of your opponent's grammar and spelling mistakes.


this seems to be very common around here


Because the forum is filled with a bunch of retards who are lazy. I mean, how much effort does it take to type "you"?

What you should type-"You should really go to the store today."

What YOU type-"U shud realy go 2 da store 2day"

:roll: :idea: Get a clue.
User avatar
Riot
WHAT DA F?!?! CHEEZITS!?
 
Posts: 6870
Joined: Tue Jun 15, 2004 10:23 am

Postby Null17 on Fri Apr 22, 2005 4:56 pm

Pope Riot wrote:
Null17 wrote:
Change the subject by pointing out all of your opponent's grammar and spelling mistakes.


this seems to be very common around here


Because the forum is filled with a bunch of retards who are lazy. I mean, how much effort does it take to type "you"?

What you should type-"You should really go to the store today."

What YOU type-"U shud realy go 2 da store 2day"

:roll: :idea: Get a clue.


was that directed at me?
Null17
 
Posts: 4543
Joined: Thu Jan 29, 2004 6:55 pm
Location: Philippines

Postby Dogg on Fri Apr 22, 2005 9:00 pm

Pope Riot wrote:
Null17 wrote:
Change the subject by pointing out all of your opponent's grammar and spelling mistakes.


this seems to be very common around here


Because the forum is filled with a bunch of retards who are lazy. I mean, how much effort does it take to type "you"?

What you should type-"You should really go to the store today."

What YOU type-"U shud realy go 2 da store 2day"

:roll: :idea: Get a clue.

holla ! it's all true :wink:
but riot, y do u hate da playaz ?
Image
User avatar
Dogg
 
Posts: 502
Joined: Sat Aug 07, 2004 5:50 am
Location: Estonia, Põlva

Postby Riot on Fri Apr 22, 2005 9:55 pm

Null17 wrote:
Pope Riot wrote:
Null17 wrote:
Change the subject by pointing out all of your opponent's grammar and spelling mistakes.


this seems to be very common around here


Because the forum is filled with a bunch of retards who are lazy. I mean, how much effort does it take to type "you"?

What you should type-"You should really go to the store today."

What YOU type-"U shud realy go 2 da store 2day"

:roll: :idea: Get a clue.


was that directed at me?


Not so much you, I was just trying to make an example. It was directed at all the internet ghetto kids.
User avatar
Riot
WHAT DA F?!?! CHEEZITS!?
 
Posts: 6870
Joined: Tue Jun 15, 2004 10:23 am

Postby Jowe on Fri Apr 22, 2005 10:46 pm

Dr. DWeaver99027 wrote:
Believe it or not, I actually do have a sense of humour.


Most Bulls' fans do. I know by experience. Not too many of you were all that smiley and pleasant during the past 7 years though... I wonder why...

I seemed to have misplaced my sense of humour as well, for the past 10 years or so. Could it have something to do with the Warriors , I wonder? Hmmmm.... :?


Nah its because u're a dipshit.
Image
Fee Nick's Uns [15-10] says:
i'd suck allen iverson's cock any day -
Fee Nick's Uns [15-10] says:
just so i could say i've met allen iverson
User avatar
Jowe
 
Posts: 3451
Joined: Fri Sep 27, 2002 5:46 pm
Location: Paradise City

Postby J@3 on Fri Apr 22, 2005 11:05 pm

I didn't really find it funny (whatsoever :oops: ) but it's educational... I think it's one of those things where it loses all of its humour for me because it's very true.

Jae's favorite.


Lol only against you, you made it too easy.
User avatar
J@3
 
Posts: 19815
Joined: Thu Mar 11, 2004 3:25 pm
Location: MLB

Postby Null17 on Fri Apr 22, 2005 11:13 pm

Pope Riot wrote:
Null17 wrote:
Pope Riot wrote:
Null17 wrote:
Change the subject by pointing out all of your opponent's grammar and spelling mistakes.


this seems to be very common around here


Because the forum is filled with a bunch of retards who are lazy. I mean, how much effort does it take to type "you"?

What you should type-"You should really go to the store today."

What YOU type-"U shud realy go 2 da store 2day"

:roll: :idea: Get a clue.


was that directed at me?



Not so much you, I was just trying to make an example. It was directed at all the internet ghetto kids.


ok. coz it was kinda confusing with all the YOU's :lol:
Last edited by Null17 on Sat Apr 23, 2005 2:08 am, edited 2 times in total.
Null17
 
Posts: 4543
Joined: Thu Jan 29, 2004 6:55 pm
Location: Philippines

Postby AlwaysWhat,NeverWhy on Fri Apr 22, 2005 11:30 pm

Nah its because u're a dipshit.


Spoken like a true poet, kid... :lol:
User avatar
AlwaysWhat,NeverWhy
 
Posts: 5190
Joined: Thu Jan 27, 2005 11:30 am
Location: The Lodge...

Postby Jowe on Sat Apr 23, 2005 9:12 am

Dr. DWeaver99027 wrote:
Nah its because u're a dipshit.


Spoken like a true poet, kid... :lol:


:roll: I'm not a kid.
Image
Fee Nick's Uns [15-10] says:
i'd suck allen iverson's cock any day -
Fee Nick's Uns [15-10] says:
just so i could say i've met allen iverson
User avatar
Jowe
 
Posts: 3451
Joined: Fri Sep 27, 2002 5:46 pm
Location: Paradise City

Postby AlwaysWhat,NeverWhy on Sat Apr 23, 2005 10:35 am

I'm not a kid.


Whatever. Poecy still runs through you like a river... :roll:
User avatar
AlwaysWhat,NeverWhy
 
Posts: 5190
Joined: Thu Jan 27, 2005 11:30 am
Location: The Lodge...

Postby Jona on Sat Apr 23, 2005 12:17 pm

It's poesy, or poetry. :roll:
Jona - Rush Fan
Image
User avatar
Jona
 
Posts: 2659
Joined: Mon Apr 26, 2004 7:41 am
Location: Santiago, Chile


Return to Off-Topic

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Google [Bot] and 2 guests