Funny Customer Reviews

Paula Deen's English Peas Recipe: http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/paul ... index.html

Ingredients
1/4 cup (1/2 stick) butter
2 cans (14 1/2-ounces) English peas, drained
Directions
Melt the butter in small pot and add the peas. Cook over medium heat until peas are warm.

Reviews: http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/paul ... .html?ob=3

The family loved it, but it was too spicy for my tastes. I wonder if there is a way to simplify and tone it down a bit.

I'm a bit confused....Which half of the butter stick do I use?

Can anyone tell me what I'm supposed to do with the paper from the butter wrap that's in the melted butter? Is this a garnish?

Also, in the future can I use margarine? If so, do I wait until the plastic container melts completely before serving?

This was just too complicated. "Drained"? "Ounce"? "Peas"? I'm not a culinary expert, Paula. These technical terms confuse and frighten me.

This was unacceptably time consuming. Sticking holes in each of the peas and draining them just takes way too much time. Perhaps using a centrifuge might be a better solution.

Help! Kitchen AFLAME!!

Rachel Ray's Late Night Bacon Recipe: http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/rach ... index.html

Ingredients
8 slices bacon
Directions
Place 2 sheets of paper towel on a microwave safe plate, lay the bacon out on the paper towel not overlapping the slices. Place 2 more sheets of paper towel on top. Place in the microwave on high for 4 to 6 minutes.

Reviews: http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/rach ... .html?ob=3

How should I adapt this recipe so I can cook it in the morning?

This looks so good and easy, but I don't have paper towels. Can I use aluminum foil instead? Please advise.

Great! I love eggs with my bacon so I'm going to chuck a few in with the bacon right now!!!

Personally, I think this recipe could be improved by the addition of a bit more bacon and a bit less paper towel. The taste of the towel was pretty good with all that bacon grease on it, but the texture was *awful*. I've tried this preparation a few times for my guests, and they always leave the towels behind. Sometimes slightly gnawed, but it's clear they don't enjoy them.

if it's more than 4-6 minutes will it burn the bacon? does it have to be pork or can it be turkey or venison? please help i am a house cat and can only talk for 30 secomeow meow meow meow meow

Wait... First the recipe says not to overlap, but then it says to "Place 2 more sheets of paper towel on top." How can I put 2 more paper towel sheets on top without overlapping? This recipe is too confusing for me.

Rachel Ray's Pineapple Wedges Recipe: http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/rach ... index.html

Ingredients
1 whole ripe pineapple
Directions
Quarter the pineapple lengthwise. Using a thin, sharp knife cut core away from each wedge by making a shallow slice the length of the pineapple. Follow the skin of the pineapple and cut the fruit away from it using your knife, keeping the green tops attached. Next, cut pineapple into 1/2-inch slices. Each quarter pineapple will now hold several wedges.

Reviews: http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/rach ... .html?ob=3

I hope she posts one on peeling an orange soon. I've got one in my fridge I've been trying to eat for days.

Rachel, do you have a recipe for ice cubes you could post? Maybe dumb it down a bit for the home cook?

I tried making the recipe exactly as written but it just didn't turn out right. I didn't have a ruler handy, so for the 1/2 inch slices I took Rachael's advice and just eyeballed it. I probably ended up with closer to 2/3 inch slices and that's probably why it just tasted like pineapple to me. I will try it again following the recipe exactly.

Couldn't find a "pine apple" at my supermarket, so I bought a regular apple, but I got confused because it didn't have a "green top," ended up getting frustrated and turning it into applesauce with a meat mallet. Was I supposed to wait for the apple to sprout? Please advise.

I made a HUGE mistake! I cut the wedges into 1/4 in. wedges and I don't know how to fix it!! Please advise.

I tried this recipe and I blacked out! The next think I know I'm in a Bankok emergency room missing half my organs! Other than that it was ok.

A Million Random Digits with 100,000 Normal Deviates: http://www.amazon.com/Million-Random-Di ... ewpoints=1

Such a terrific reference work! But with so many terrific random digits, it's a shame they didn't sort them, to make it easier to find the one you're looking for.

A great read. Captivating. I couldn't put it down. I would have given it five stars, but sadly there were too many distracting typos. For example: 46453 13987. Hopefully they will correct them in the next edition.

Wow! The 1,000,000 random digits produced by the Rand Corporation are some of the best random digits out there! I was amazed at some of their selections. For example: would YOU have conceived of the sequence 35462? Or 239877687468? Or 776834689765872643756324876 (one of my personal favorites). This is fine, fine work. Kudos to the folks at Rand on this most fascinating tract that truly keeps one on the edge of his seat.

Denon AKDL1 Dedicated Link Cable: http://www.amazon.com/Denon-AKDL1-Dedic ... ewpoints=1

This connection isn't sound. If my calculations are correct, it should be sometime around 2007 for whomever is reading this. DO NOT USE THESE CABLES. Something... happens with them. Something came through, something from somewhere else. We were overrun in days, not many of us are left. WE LIVE UNDERGROUND! ONLY YOU CAN STOP IT NOW. SAVE US. DO NOT USE THESE CABLES.

I don't have much time. This connection isn't sound. If my calculations are correct, it should be--

A caution to people buying these: if you do not follow the "directional markings" on the cables, your music will play backwards. Please check that before mentioning it in your reviews.

I was disappointed. I consider myself an audiophile - I regularly spend over $1000 on cables to get the ultimate sound. I keep my music-listening room in a Faraday cage to prevent any interference that could alter my music-listening experience. Sending any signal down ordinary copper can degrade the signal considerably. While ordinary listeners might not notice, to somebody with even a rudimentary knowledge of sound, the artifacts are glaring. Denon should have used silver wiring (hermetically sealed inside the rubber sheath to prevent any tarnishing, of course), which has a significantly higher conductivity than copper. Furthermore, Denon needs to treat the wires they use in the cable with a polarity inductor to ensure minimal phase variance.

Needless to say, I returned the cable and wrote an angry letter to the so-called engineers at Denon.

Always keep this cable absolutely straight! Otherwise the bits on the outer edge will arrive late resulting in misaligned byte packets. This could, for example, wipe months or even years off the timbre of a Stradivarius by introducing brittleness in the upper harmonics.

It's even worse with cheese.

Wheelmate Laptop Steering Wheel Desk: http://www.amazon.com/Wheelmate-Laptop- ... ewpoints=1

My copilot and I both used these during our "daily grind" transcontinental flights from San Diego to Minneapolis. We had to modify them a bit to fit snug against the instrument panels (when we bought them we didn't realize the planes we fly don't have steering wheels!), but in the end it did the job. With our laptops firmly in place we were able to focus our attention on what really mattered, participating in raids with our WoW clan. During our last flight we were so immersed in trying to take down Eranikus that we overshot Minneapolis by a full hour and a half before some annoying flight attendant interrupted us, babbling something about "FAA and F16 fighters."

We'll definitely use this product again at our next gig, whatever and whenever that happens to be...

Highly recommended!

My 16 year old daughter just got her license a few weeks ago. Since then, she's been going out for drives a lot after school. Unfortunately, all the time spent in the car for her has meant less time for homework. Her grades have noticeably slipped, but instead of taking away her car privileges, I bought this steering wheel desk. It's perfect for young drivers with heavy academic loads! Now she can work on her homework and still be out driving, improving her road skills and staying on top of her grades. I couldn't be prouder and would encourage all parents with new drivers to set their kids up with this super-portable work station!

You wouldn't believe how much more interesting my commute is now that I have something to do other than just stare out the window! I'm using it right now to post this review and I never

Wow some of these are awesome. Kitchen AFLAME!! killed me

You wouldn't believe how much more interesting my commute is now that I have something to do other than just stare out the window! I'm using it right now to post this review and I never

Kind of a dark ending to that one.

I liked this one from the million random digits book page.

The book is a promising reference concept, but the execution is somewhat sloppy. Whatever algorithm they used was not fully tested. The bulk of each page seems random enough. However at the lower left and lower right of alternate pages, the number is found to increment directly.

i don't know why i lol'ed so hard at "please advise"

Kitchen AFLAME! Omg! Lol! How can these people be serious? These recipes aren't even complexed yet people seem to ask either irrelevant questions or even dumb questions.

Heres another one:
"You did not include instructions on how to remove the bacon from the packaging. Since I couldn't get the plastic off, I just put the whole thing in the microphone and followed the rest of the instructions..."
Person later states that bacon had a strange coating and had a bad taste.......Really? Omg just kill me now before I keep reading.

Kitchen AFLAME! Omg! Lol! How can these people be serious? These recipes aren't even complexed yet people seem to ask either irrelevant questions or even dumb questions.

meow meow meow meow

Oh dear

Kitchen AFLAME! Omg! Lol! How can these people be serious? These recipes aren't even complexed yet people seem to ask either irrelevant questions or even dumb questions.

Yea, I just figured it out they weren't being serious but just making fun at how simple it is. Should've read more.

Yikes I didn't think people would actually think they were serious. I don't know if that's insulting to the you or the general American public.

Anyways some awesome reviews, really informative...

I thought the other pictures of the wheelmate were hilarious too...
http://www.amazon.com/Wheelmate-Laptop- ... roduct_top

Noticed this in the page of that Wheelmate product

Alfred Hitchcock The Birds Barbie Doll