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ESPN news wrote:
We've recieved word from Orlando, Florida that a fight of enormous proportions has broken out between Ron Artest and the entire Orlando Magic crowd......the fight escalated to the point of small missle launchers being fired in the arena.....the entire TD Waterhouse center has caught fire, and burned to the ground. 17 people have been seriously injured, and 4 have died. 16 people are missing but presumed dead among the rubble. Four puppies were found alive on the scene, and damn, if they weren't cute. All the Magic and Pacers players are miraculously unharmed. Lawsuits are sure to be pending in this case very soon.
Aside from this great tragedy, sports fans must be wondering "Where will the Magic be playing their games?" Well, we already have an answer. Word from the Magic owners is that representatives from the goverment of Kansas City, Missouri have already contacted them with an offer to use their space at Hale Arena, in the heart of Kansas City. The Magic's owner wasn't so pleased with this idea, but the board of directors disagreed with him......so after hours of deliberation, the board of directors called Ron Artest and had him beat up the owner. The board then contacted Kansas City and accepted their offer.
They soon realized that the name Kansas City Magic sounds quite gay, so they contacted Kansas City's ABA team, the Kansas City Knights, and asked about a possible buy-out of the team's name and logo. The ABA team accepted, as attendance was next-to-nothing, and who cares about the ABA, anyway? David Stern, contacted by phone, approved the request to move the team, but not without a threat of calling Mr. Artest. We aren't sure why Artest seems to be cooperating with the organization so soon after burning it's arena down, but let's keep those questions to the professionals.
So, NBA fans......somehow, even though it is mere hours after the horrible fire in Orlando, the team has completely set up shop in Kansas City. Hale Arena is decked out with Knights gear, the players have their new uniforms.....and we have your exclusive preview of the new Kansas City Knights, right here on ESPN.
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