Things you say that seem to offend everyone else.

[Doobie]

Today I was talking to my friend about my father's wedding, and she told me to tell my dad congratulations. I responded with "my dad doesn't even know you exist so there'd be no point to tell him you said congratulations."

Anyways, this friend of mine went ape-shit on me. She started saying "oh so I don't exist, should I just go kill myself? AM I NOTHING TO YOU!!" and a huge rant about how big of an asshole I am. Normally I wouldn't care, but this is the 3rd time I say something along the lines of "that person doesn't know you exist.", and all 3 times I've had a similiar reaction. My ex-girlfriend even cried to me when I told her my grandma doesn't know about her existence.

So, is that really offensive or are females just overly sensitive? And are there things you say that you don't mean in a negative way but people always seem to take it that way?

[J@3]

that's happened three fucking times?? Stop telling girls they don't exist to someone. Just say "oh yeah I will". That's some aspergers shit.

[JaoSming]

bringing it back doobie

[Doobie]

I'm not complaining about anything or asking for advice, I'm just asking if you guys have had similiar experiences.

[cyanide]

It's a courtesy thing. What you said to her was along the lines of, "No, I won't tell him you said a nice thing, and even if I did, he wouldn't give a shit."

I think Larry David has more stories than I can seem to recall about myself.

[Lean]

I think it's your misuse of the words "do not exist." Maybe you'd just let it go if you think a relative does not know a friend of yours -- just say "thanks" perhaps to keep things safe.

On-topic though, there are times I'd hit a joke on a person and then gets offended so much. In cases of saying several words that aren't really offensive but annoying to some -- mostly to femalez -- words like "take care" being said frequently would turn them away from me. Or maybe it's just me.

[buzzy]

definitely a Larry David type of answer

[The X]

I'd have to agree with Jae, you just say yeah I will, but you don't actually have to. It's called a white lie & it's a protective lie so you don't put yourself in those situations

[benji]

Based on PMs, apparently it's "cum in your ass."

Based on elsewhere, "enumerated powers" and "rule of law."

[Andrew]

I have to agree with the group, that was a pretty tactless answer to say the least. It sounds like their responses have been a little drama queen-ish, but I think most people would be taken aback by a response like that and find it rude. As X said, the courteous thing to do would've been to tell a white lie and say that you'd pass along their congratulations/well wishes and leave it at that. I know you said you weren't seeking advice but all the same, you just might want to rethink telling people that others don't know they exist.

[Doobie]

I guess I'll take the white lie approach just to avoid the drama, but I sincerely believe I didn't say anything wrong in the first place.

[The X]

The truth hurts Doobie, some people just can't handle the truth.

[NovU]

What? guys... WHAT? Doobie didn't say anything that offensive. Perhaps that bitch had feelings for u, Doobie. And some people just can't take a joke as a joke, especially some bitches. They wanna be treated as princess and all that shit. Grow outta it girls and be cool.

[Andrew]

I guess I'll take the white lie approach just to avoid the drama, but I sincerely believe I didn't say anything wrong in the first place.

If that's what you (and apparently ZanShadow) believe, then perhaps you should check out Etiquette Hell some time.

Since it obviously isn't clear:

Like I said, those reactions might have been a little over the top but what you said was rude, plain and simple. Sure, their congratulations and well wishes might not have meant much to your father or grandmother but the courteous thing to do would've been to thank the people who said that and leave it at that. If your father and grandmother don't know them, you don't need to actually pass on the congratulations but throwing it back in their faces is a huge faux pas.

Your choice of words as far as people not knowing their exist is also pretty callous, there's no reason to word it that way unless you're trying to be hurtful so you shouldn't be at all surprised that they've taken offense. Sure, maybe they threw a bit of a hissy fit but I know if I got that reaction I'd be taken a bit aback and peg that person as a bit of a tool. It's not like these are strangers you've just happened to meet who your family are highly unlikely to know; friends and girlfriends are people who tend to be mentioned at least in passing, so it's not unreasonable for them to assume that perhaps your family knows of them and such, would appreciate the well wishes.

Bottom line: they made a polite gesture and you threw it back in their face with a callous remark, when the polite thing to do would've been to say something like "Thanks, I will" and left it at that.

[NovU]

True that, Andrew. His joke might have been somewhat offending. But what I said was given the situation that Doobie and this ape girl were close enough to share such jokes. I don't really see all that good reasons to go hostile and shit, unless she either hates Doobie or somewhat has feelings for him. Or she's just a nasty bitch who likes correcting people. Oh yeah, Doobie's joke might have been a rude one, but she went even further in being rude imo. In fact, I'd hate keeping any kind of friendship/relationship with such an individual.

In that regards, imagine her being a member of NLSC. She'd sue us for all those sexual jokes that we've been throwing here. Hench the kitchen is where I think she belongs to. Ofc, that is if she makes a good sandwich.

[koberulz]

Etiquette Hell

Dammit.

[Andrew]

True that, Andrew. His joke might have been somewhat offending. But what I said was given the situation that Doobie and this ape girl were close enough to share such jokes. I don't really see all that good reasons to go hostile and shit, unless she either hates Doobie or somewhat has feelings for him. Or she's just a nasty bitch who likes correcting people. Oh yeah, Doobie's joke might have been a rude one, but she went even further in being rude imo. In fact, I'd hate keeping any kind of friendship/relationship with such an individual.

In that regards, imagine her being a member of NLSC. She'd sue us for all those sexual jokes that we've been throwing here. Hench the kitchen is where I think she belongs to. Ofc, that is if she makes a good sandwich.

Even if any of that was true, it doesn't change the fact that the remark was objectionable and a little discourteous to say the least. Did they overreact? Probably, which is something I'd attribute to their age/maturity and yes, their gender to a certain extent, but given the situation they were not out of line to feel offended.

Dammit.

I reckon.

[atlwarrior]

Today I was talking to my friend about my father's wedding, and she told me to tell my dad congratulations. I responded with "my dad doesn't even know you exist so there'd be no point to tell him you said congratulations."

Anyways, this friend of mine went ape-shit on me. She started saying "oh so I don't exist, should I just go kill myself? AM I NOTHING TO YOU!!" and a huge rant about how big of an asshole I am. Normally I wouldn't care, but this is the 3rd time I say something along the lines of "that person doesn't know you exist.", and all 3 times I've had a similiar reaction. My ex-girlfriend even cried to me when I told her my grandma doesn't know about her existence.

So, is that really offensive or are females just overly sensitive? And are there things you say that you don't mean in a negative way but people always seem to take it that way?

Well did you say it in a joking manner or sound like a complete asshole when you told these three girls this?


Edit:To be honest I don't see anything wrong with what you said.

[Andrew]

It's a pretty obvious faux pas.

[shadowgrin]

I wonder what her reaction would be if Doobie said, "Sure, I'll tell my dad even though he doesn't know you."