Mad About Poo

[Christopherson]

So this thread was inspired by a friend of mine who recently revieled to me that after taking a shit, he stands up to wipe his ass, and then drops the TP into the toilet. This flabbergasted me, and I decided that I wanted to know what others thought about this. So my question to all of you is: Do you wipe standing up or sitting down?

Just for fun, I thought I would ask a few more questions relating to business in the bathroom.

1. Do you bring reading material into the bathroom with you? What kind?
I often bring in an ESPN the Mag with me, but only when I am shitting. Sometimes, if I am reading something interesting online, I will drag my laptop in there as well.

2. Do you pee sitting or standing?
At home, I urinate while sitting, because I have a medical condition which hinders my accuracy, and I don't want to make a mess. If I find myself at a location which is equipped with urinals, I use those.

3. Do you wash your hands after using the restroom?
I do sometimes, but not always. It has alot to do with whether or not I feel my hands got dirty, and what I am going to be doing later.

4. How often to you take a shit?
I am usually good for between 1-2 times a day. However, when I go hiking in the mountains and am without a toilet, I will often go 4 days without taking a shit. Not because I don't like to shit in the woods, just because I'm usually busy.

So let me know about ya'lls bathroom etiquette.

[BIG GREEN]

Wow what an engaging and perplexing topic you just raised here. I was just pondering the complexities of one excreting myself...but to answer your questions.

1. No, i don't read while i'm in the act of excretion because the throne is meant for the king to meditate upon the rules of his life and existence.

2. I don't sit and pee because that would involve a rather painful contortion of my falis. Rather, because of me height, i kneel to pee while at home as to not spill as it were.

3. I always wash my hands after using the bathroom because pathogens can be deadly to one's health.

4. I always make a poo poo platter in the morning and about twice more for the day as decreed by king John.

[JaoSming]

1. Do you bring reading material into the bathroom with you? What kind?
ESPN mag, FHM, or the Alphabet of Manliness (which has chapters on Urinal Etiquette, passing gas, and types of shits.)

2. Do you pee sitting or standing?
I stand, always, no exceptions.

3. Do you wash your hands after using the restroom?
yes, ive found i get sick (especially at college) if i dont

4. How often to you take a shit?
2-3 per day



Side notes for the bathroom,
Men, never talk to another being while in, on, or around the toilet.

Never pee on the toilet seat, not because its a douche thing to do for the next person who needs to drop it like its hot, but because its harder to miss than to hit it. n00b

Eating while taking a shit is encouraged, it's just more efficient. Drinking while peeing just feels cool.

Finally, I would just like to re-state, NO TALKING.

[PiksS]

Well whip my ass sometimes standing, sometimes sitting!....

1. Only the stuff what is already in the bathroom!...i ment products like shoe brushes or something like that!

2. i like to sit, when i pee....in mornigs is the best thing to do!...but when i`m out of my house!....standing!

3. Not always!....

4. 2-3 per day!...

And JaoSming!...i do talk with my friends while i pee, or while am taking a shit!...

[BIG GREEN]

Yes but that's expected if you're a homosexual...and i don't mean that as insult

[Gundy]

1. I read ESPN the Mag while shitting.
2. I pee standing up.
3. 95% of the time.
4. Holy shit you guys shit a lot. If I take a dump, I don't have to shit the rest of the day.

[---]

1. No, i don't read while i'm in the act of excretion because the throne is meant for the king to meditate upon the rules of his life and existence.

That sounds like some wierd Nike ad for Lebron

How tall are you?

[Colin]

As weird as this topic is, it's even weider that we've already had a topic about this. Or at least ended up being about this.

1 - I've actually got a cheap-ass CD player in my bathroom, thus I frequently read the liner notes from the albums I'm listening to.
2 - Standing while out, if I must sit for a deuce I use those seat covers or a nice layer of tp. While home I'll do like Yohance and kneel a bit to increase accuracy.
3 - I wash with soap 100% of the time. If there's no soap I try to see if there's a soap-equipped sink nearby. After working at a summer camp for 3 years I've seen how quickly disease spreads and I'm a bit of a germophobe. That's definitely not the scientific term...
4 - I shit when I wake up and when I go to bed. Not because I have to, but because that way I want find myself shitting in a foreign area during the day. While at the aforementioned summer camp I end up at about 4 times a week simply from trying to avoid common toilets.

[Patr1ck]

1. ESPN, Maxim, Stuff, Maximum PC, PCGamer. Sometimes I even read the newspaper.
2. Number one - stand. Number one plus two - sit. Sometimes I jump around because I get bored. You smell ammonia?
3. I'm guilty of not doing this everytime, but I'd say I do 99%. Sometimes I'm just lazy and will think I have to shit, so I'll sit, fart, piss, then get up, flush and walkout because I didn't need to aim or wipe. However, lately I have been washing everytime because of this - If you have ever had a job and been using the toilet/urinal and you notice some fucker flush, zip and walkout, it makes you not want to touch the doorknob. Its a good idea to get some sanitizer and bring it to your workplace. Especially if you have multiple doors to open/close and have that hand/finger print identification tool for clocking in and out.
4. On a good day, 3 times. On a bad day, none.

So whats next? You going to ask us what order of our body parts we wash first in the shower and what kind of motion we use for scrubbing the lather? I keed, I keed.

Seriously, what were you and your friend talking about when he revealed this information to you?

[Anthony15]

1. Sometimes, mostly ESPN or PCGamer.
2. Stand
3. 90% of the time, sometimes might forget.
4. Twice a day.

[Christopherson]

You know, I'm not quite sure how the topic came up in conversation, quite interesting when you come to think of it. I just thought it would be a topic that could break up all of the seriousness with all of this "what is god" and "is the death penatly moral" topics floating around. Like ya'll said, sometimes we come here just to have a good time.

[BigKaboom2]

Yup, this thread is just as disturbing as the last one. Somehow I was compelled to read it anyway - go figure.

[Jackal]

I'd respond in a serious fashion, but Air Gordon's thread is still too fresh in my mind. The rest though, enjoy.

[cyanide]

1. Do you bring reading material into the bathroom with you? What kind?
Never. I'm always quick since I have other things to do.

2. Do you pee sitting or standing?
At home, I sit. Out, I stand.

3. Do you wash your hands after using the restroom?
Always wash my hands.

4. How often to you take a shit?
Once a day, every morning. Occasionally, I'll have an evening shit.

Here's a new one for everyone:

5. Do you wipe your penis with toilet paper after you pee?

[Christopherson]

5. Do you wipe your penis with toilet paper after you pee?

God No

[JaoSming]

Here's a new one for everyone:

5. Do you wipe your penis with toilet paper after you pee?

What the Fuck?! This is a new one, I have never even heard of that before.

[Jackal]

Muslim folks seem to do it a lot, it's a common thing if I'm not mistaken. Has to do with their praying and stuff, correct me if I'm wrong, but that's what I got from a turkish friend.

[BIG GREEN]

My lil brother used to do that shit...he was afraid of getting his own piss stains on his underwear and/or skin.

[Axel]

2. Do you pee sitting or standing?
At home, I urinate while sitting, because I have a medical condition which hinders my accuracy, and I don't want to make a mess. If I find myself at a location which is equipped with urinals, I use those.

What condition is that, morning wood?

[Laxation]

1. Do you bring reading material into the bathroom with you? What kind?
I read homework, comics or might bring my laptop in to listen to music or watch southpark or something
Failing that, ill listen to music on my phone while I play games... (who wants to borrow my phone to call their mum for a lift home now )

2. Do you pee sitting or standing?
Standing - unless im on a semi, then i wouldnt be able to control it, and somehow have to contort myself... its more of a squat if im on a semi...

3. Do you wash your hands after using the restroom?
yep

4. How often to you take a shit?
once a day, rarely 2, rarely 0

5. Do you wipe your penis with toilet paper after you pee?
erm no... i shake

[Colin]

As for Cy's addition, I dab it with a little tp. Probably has something to do with my little man having a jacket on so a little extra can hang out only to surprise you later.

[Gundy]

I'll add to my post that I always wash my hands after taking a dump but not always after pissing. If you don't wash after shitting, that's fucking gross.

I'll add one.

6. If you have to piss and you're in the shower, do you let it rip or hold it till you get out?

[---]

6. If you have to piss and you're in the shower, do you let it rip or hold it till you get out?

I piss in the shower all the time. Theres a drain there for a reason

[Scotty]

As for Cy's addition, I dab it with a little tp. Probably has something to do with my little man having a jacket on so a little extra can hang out only to surprise you later.

same strangely.

Do you wipe standing up or sitting down?
Standing most of the time


1. Do you bring reading material into the bathroom with you? What kind?
I sometimes might take a FHM or Ralph , but while going to the toilet


2. Do you pee sitting or standing?
Standing

3. Do you wash your hands after using the restroom?
Definately

4. How often to you take a shit?
Maybe 1-2 a day, but never at school for some reason

[Laxation]

6. If you have to piss and you're in the shower, do you let it rip or hold it till you get out?

always... in fact since I have a shower as soon as I wake up, every single day I piss in the shower