Final Fantasy : The Spirits Within

[streetballaz1]

i have to do a book report for school and it is due tommorow or i think monday.I haven't read the book yet but since the book is from a movie i wonder if somebody could tell me the story.For example what happen,how do they kill the Phantoms,the story,all those things
Thanks.

[J@3]

Can you kids just do your own homework, and READ THE BOOKS YOU'RE GIVEN. We get these threads every week it seems...

Anyways I'll leave this un-locke for my own personal entertainment.

[Cameron]

Well, basically, they summon an army of the dead. In the meantime, the ring is thrust into the fires of Mount Doom...

Dude, just hand it in late. You're going to do terrible anyways.

[The Other Kevin]

Cactaur gets called fatty and goes on a homicidal rampage. Points for reference.

[Jackal]

Well, since I'm such a good sport, let's start off.

Once upon a time there was a fantasy. It was the final one. The spirits within were recalling how it all begin.

It all began in a small village in the outskirts of readthefuckingbooksville. It was a peaceful little village and they didn't have red little motherfuckers in cloaks running around scaring & riding people. (Note 1 & 2: See Little Red Ridden in the Hood and Adrian Broody.) The people of the town were quite lazy little bastards, not only did they never do anything, they never even bothered to make their homework. One day the wicked witch of the village decided to teach all the little bastards a lesson. Now everyone would think that the wicked witch would do something wicked, well she did. Mad wicked that is, as in wicked cool.

Pause.

How the fuck can something be wicked cool? If it's wicked, it's bad. If it's cool, it's awesome/cold. I don't get why people say wicked cool. If you want to excentuate the coolness, why not say freezing cool? Stupid kids.

Unpause.

So this bitch, ehm, witch decides to do something wicked, so she gathers all the little kids in the town and holds like a little sausage in front of their face, since they are all starving little cunts since the whole ONE program thingie never worked out, they were very hungry. So as they were looking at teh sausage, she decided to flash them. Oh lordy lordy lordy, they were so horny, their dicks got an erection and since they were so poor, their skin was like really tight and the veins and shit just popped right the fuck out. There they stood, dripping blood from the tip & sides of their male testicles as they all grabbed at the sausage that was hanging in front of their face. One of the kids happened to be Michael Jackson ( you know that awesome black singer that changed into a white transvestite uglier than Gollum from LOTR ), so instead of grabbing the sausage, he was gropping the already blood dripping penis's of the little starving kids (who didn't do their homework), given he's so white, he became all red (from the blood) that he looked like Adrien Brody from the Village.

Pause.

Shit, I was trying to keep that out of there.

Unpause.

Anyways, the wicked witch thought that by doing this, she'd encourage the kids to do their homework. Alas they enjoyed MJ's groping so much, they went with him to never never land and all of them renamed themselves to, you guessed it, McAughley however the fuck you spell it Cuntlin.

So there was the little village, left with only old people. Then one day that guy came. He came and he was like, woah, this is like zhe village. He went to a stranger on the street & copped a shit on him. He felts zhe gangstar. So this guy was feeling really good about himself and suddenly a wild bunch of woodpeckers suddenly swooped down & pecked his pecker away. The man was in agony. So the stranger was so goodhearted, he took the copped shit off his head & sealed all the little pecks in the guys pecker. He sort of plastered it with poop. It was still warm & gooey, like warm chocolate chip cookies *insert stupid faggot giggle of that rotund fart called the Pillbury Doughboy*.

The stranger then decided to escort the guy back to Compton, which happened to be a couple of blocks away from readthefuckingbooksville, afterall, the guy was a gangstar.

Then it began to snow. Oh snow, it's so cold and icey, it's...it's...hey, it's freezing cool. (Like wicked cool, but not wicked, freezing.) So this snow was like, I want to be a snowman, so he built himself and was all happy, he had a dildo as a nose, I mean, why wouldn't he be happy. But then Chuck Norris came by and roundhouse kicked his head off & picked the dildo up & put it in his ass.

*whack*

Ehm, sorry, Norris just roundhouse kicked me, I rewrite, he threw the dildo far far away since Chuck Norris is the manliest man of all men. *cough* faggot *cough*

*double whack*

Since only his head was kicked off, the snowman was all giddy and was doing the snowman dance, then Chuck got really mad and pee'ed on him. Hah, that goes to show you Mr. Snowman.

The town had this little vampire too, she was like what, 14 orso and she just began menstruating, so then on every full moon she'd squat on the floor and put a spoon under her vagina and just drink her own putrid bodily fluids, she felt so proud. Credit to Bash.org.

Then the little sperm in my nutsack woke up since I was stroking myself & exploded onto the keyboard, so the final fantasy finished. Part II might follow.

Edit: Shit, forgot the phantom's, well they didn't really die, they just went home with Andrew Lloyd Webber. I heard they struck gold on broadway.

[streetballaz1]

forget it then ,i'll just search on google.

[The Other Kevin]

Hell, you deserved it, trying to gety answers from idiots like us.

[Gator]

And not even doing your work..

[Cameron]

Just watch the bloody movie, I've heard it's good.

Edit: you putz

[Jing]

hm.. fans of FF say its pure crap though cause it had nothing to do with the story of the game and the plot was bit weak, though nobody can deny it looks sick, kinda like advent children, though that at last had something to do with the game's plotline.

[Jackal]

Bitches, what about my children's book writing skills? How rude.

[peaches]

Not enough Chuck Norris references, B- at the most.

[Nick]

A+ in randomness and cleverness... D- in i couldn't be fucked reading all that random crap but i felt i had to anyway.

[Jackal]

Oh lordy lordy lordy, they were so horny, their dicks got an erection and since they were so poor, their skin was like really tight and the veins and shit just popped right the fuck out. There they stood, dripping blood from the tip & sides of their male testicles

That was my favorite part, I felt all tingley in my penis.

[shadowgrin]

Jackal gets an A+ for effort. First time I've seen Jackal write a long post that's non-flame related.

Just watch the bloody movie

It's easier for persons like you (streetballaz) who do not like to read.

[dada]

I felt all tingley in my penis.

Thats Mr Herpes talking to you.

[Its_asdf]

The Spirits Within Sucks. God knows why you're planning to do a book report or whatever on it. If you're that desperate, rent the movie or something.

[Jackal]

First time I've seen Jackal write a long post that's non-flame related.

Really? I've done a few of these random ones like this. I recall the one about the raspy phone whore ones.

[shadowgrin]

*searching the forums*
*Search Query for: raspy phone whore*

No topics or posts met your search criteria

Guess I have to try harder.
*Continues searching*
(Damn, why can't I sleep)

[Jackal]

I'm telling you, since the forum crashed, the search thing has been fucked up. How many times have I not mentioned the words "Netherlands" or "Curacao"? You search my posts in the General Section and it'll probably only show this thread. That's not even possible.

[The Other Kevin]

He's right. What is going on here?

[Anthony15]

I never read thouse books that the teachers as us to read. I usually google it and read a review that is like 5 pages, instead of reading 300!

[shadowgrin]

Jackal already mentioned that before.
The "Search for Authors" does work, it displays posts of that user way back even before the crash.
Maybe the "Search for Keywords" is the one that isn't working.

[J@3]

For some reason it's only indexing posts made after "The Big One".

[Jackal]

Maybe the "Search for Keywords" is the one that isn't working.

Yeah, yeah, that's what I meant. Gosh.