Dixacise

[Stevan]

Hello and welcome to the Dixacise thread, I'll be your host!

This is an innovative new program designed to increase the overall size, strength, and stamina of your penis.

DISCLAIMER: Please be careful if you proceed. Your penis is a weapon of mass destruction. Why else do you think America went after Sadaam Hussein? He has a huge penis thanks to this program.

If you have any questions about living with a large penis on a daily basis, you may want to ask Andrw SCOTT of the old forum, http://dynamic2.gamespy.com/~nbalive/forum/messages/8085/22900.html?1022425343 as I will be unavailable to answer questions.

Now, you may be thinking, "Man I've been lifting weights and taking steroids for ages, my piece looks like dried apricot, what can I do?". Well we have the answer with Dixacise! It's an innovative program, that can be applied at the home, office, in school, on the sporting field, even at Church on Sunday morning. It is that easy and effective, and best of all, it is only a few minutes a day.

Here is how the program works...

1) The hands on approach: You will need to jerk off at least twice a day to work the muscle. Of course there has been a chemical found in semen which promotes penis growth, so getting that flow happening is very important. If you do not produce semen, this program is not for you. Visual aides such as pornography are also vital. For techniques on masturbation please contact Slam Harder.

Mental stimulation resulting in physical fitness: That's right, with this program we encourage you to crack a boner as often at possible. Stare at women, undress them with your eyes, even pretend to be interested in what they are saying, just make sure to crack a regular boner. Wear loose underwear for full effect. Just like with a small exhaust system on your car, horsepower will be restricted if you wear restrictive underwear.

Clinching: Note, in order to clinch, you really do have to achieve the boner. Clinching with a placid penis is like trying to play tennis with a rubber tennis racket. So if you cannot crack a boner, again this program is not for you. For beginners we would suggest 3 sets of 20 clinches per day. Obviously after the first few days of the program, with the jerking, cracking a boner, and clinching, you will be sore - no doubt about it. But the pain will eventually disappear as you build up the strength in your penis. Increase clinches per set by 10 every week. In two weeks you will have doubled your penis power, and by the end of the month you should be able to clinch hard enough to hit yourself in the stomach and wind your self. Remember clinching is a crucial part of the program. Within three months you will be able to "bench press" your girlfriends with your penis. I say 'girlfriends' because the program really works.

Important: Remeber to always stretch your penis before any excercise! This program has proven to be extremely effective. Do not excede the excercises prescribed here unless you are of African American descent, in which case you may double the dosage.
Most importantly be careful!

The Dixacise program has been a world wide success. It not only improves penis power and helps you to become a super lover who can please even the loosest girl, but helps with self esteem, with image, confidence and can make you into a new person!

Case Study: Phil was once a very shy young man. He worked as an Accountant, and by age 27 had lost much of his hair, and gained a gut. His sex drive had deterriorated and the ladies just were not reacting to his advances when he went to clubs. His dancing also was horribe.
After using the program for 6 months, Phil has reaped the benefits. Not only is he juggling three girlfriends, he has two other casual partners on the side. Dixacise has given him the courage and confidence to pick up women, and to please them extensively! Phil in turn has stepped into a management role at work, and made a multi-billion dollar real estate move! Phil has also donated enough sperm to create a new third world country! Phil eventually gained several inches! And it's all thanks to Dixacise!

Thank you for your time folks, I hope the session was informative. I am expecting Jae Hatton, another one of our customers to share his experience with you any time now! Put your hands together for Jae!

Thank you.

[Riot]

*boner?*

Ok, i read the first paragraph and it was hilarious but I got tired. Can you summarize?

[Matthew]

even at Church on Sunday morning

My secrest is out

[hmm]

........................

[Fresh8]

lol- ur hilarious steven...how do u think of this crap???

and who needs this anyway... sorta wasted 3 minutes reading it!

[Nick]

Wow, turns out my daily hobby is an full extensive program! LOL

Good shit Stoivan :)

[J@3]

I've been doing dixacise for 9 years without knowing it


Good stuff yo

[Null17]

:shock: I've been doing dixacise for 9 years without knowing it


Good stuff yo

wow! me too! probably more than 9...

[Stevan]

yeah I've been doing dixacise for some time now, and it really works!

It has helped me become a world class athlete. I've been lobying hard (excuse the pun) with the IOC to try and get a couple of new sports into the Olympics. The first is Penis Vault, and the second is Cock Put. But the IOC have not given in yet, they are hard nuts to crack (excuse the pun again).

[Filip]

1) The hands on approach: You will need to jerk off at least twice a day to work the muscle. Of course there has been a chemical found in semen which promotes penis growth, so getting that flow happening is very important. If you do not produce semen, this program is not for you. Visual aides such as pornography are also vital. For techniques on masturbation please contact Slam Harder.

Meh, i've almost forgott how to masturbate, it was about two weeks since I last jerked off (military service, what i'm suppose to do man?!)