the JOKE thread(with few shoutouts inside)

Here is another sex joke

Two boys from the mountains, Leroy and Jasper have been promoted from privates to sergeants.

Not long after, they're out for a walk and Leroy says, "Hey Jasper, there's the NCO Club. Let's you and me stop in."

"But we's privates," protests Jasper.

"We's sergeants now, "says Leroy, pulling him inside.

"Now, Jasper, I'm a-gonna sit down and have me a drink."

"But we's privates," says Jasper. "Are you blind, boy?" asks Leroy, pointing at his stripes. "We's sergeants now."

So they have their drink, and pretty soon a hooker comes up to Leroy. "You're cute," she says, "and I'd like to date you, but I've got a bad case of gonorrhea."

Leroy pulls his friend to the side and whispers, "Jasper, go look in the dictionary and see what gonorrhea means. If it's okay, give me the okay sign." So Jasper goes to look it up, comes back, and gives Leroy the big okay sign.

Three weeks later Leroy is laid up in the infirmary with a terrible case of gonorrhea. "Jasper," he says, "why did you give me the okay sign?"

"Well, Leroy, in the dictionary, it says gonorrhea affects only the privates." He points to his stripes. "But we's sergeants now!"

LOL, IHBW ones were hilarious!!!! The herpes one, OMG...

LOL, IHBW ones were hilarious!!!! The herpes one, OMG...
_________________

i agree

where did that guy get those stuff. i hope he will joke more so often by now on.

offtopic but i just checked Coolmacs stats and he averages about 21 post a day!!!!! LMAO i find that funny maybe you guys will too lmao.

again im not a big fan of this 1 but here it goes

a woman desperately looking for work went into a factory. the personnel manager looked over her resumé and regretfully explained to her that he had nothing worthy of her talents. the woman answered that she really needed work and would take almost anything. the personnel manager said that he had a low-skill job on the tickle me elmo line, but nothing else.
the woman happily accepted his offer. he took her down to the line, explained her duties, and told her to report at 8:00am the next day.
the next day at 8:45 there was a knock at the personnel managers door. the tickle me elmo line manager came in and started ranting about the woman who had just been hired. after listening to how badly backed up the assembly line was, the personnel manager suggested that he show him the problem.
together they went down to the line and, sure enough, elmos were backed up from here to kingdom come. right at the end of the line was the woman who had just been hired. she had pulled over a roll of the material used for the elmos, and had a big bag of marbles. they both watched as she cut a little piece of fabric, took two marbles, and started sewing them between elmos legs.
the personnel manager started laughing uncontrollably. finally, he pulled himself together, walked over to the new employee, and said, "im sorry, i guess you misunderstood me yesterday. what i wanted you to do was give elmo two test tickles!"

lol that was sort of funny

yeh i dont like it that much its kinda funny but nothing 2 go crazy bout and no where near the funny compared 2 some of the other jokes i have posted

LOL this is funny too lazy to see if it was already posted (nothing rascist its just a funny joke)

Whats the difference between a jew and pizza pie ?


A: The pizza pie doesnt scream in the oven.

Takes a while to get if your slow.

lmao that is pretty damn funny, im sorry if i offend any one with this one but im still gonna do it

did u hear bout the surfing comp on the gold coast?

some asian dude on a cupboard door won!

A: The pizza pie doesnt scream in the oven.

Dont get it.... does it have to do something with the genocide stuff

A: The pizza pie doesnt scream in the oven.

Dont get it.... does it have to do something with the genocide stuff

yes

If there's one thing that comes close to my hate of racism it's my hate of Hitler and the Holocaust. My family has a history with that too.

Whats the difference between a jew and pizza pie ?

A: The pizza pie doesnt scream in the oven.

Lame joke

If there's one thing that comes close to my hate of racism it's my hate of Hitler and the Holocaust.

he did point out that it wasn't meant to hurt anyone but still poeple are sensitive about certain events in history. let's have clean jokes form now on. the sex jones are quiet funny and noone seems to be bothered by them

i love this joke but only aussies will get it and more than likely they will only get it if they live in victoria (like me )

Melbourne, Tuesday

The Ferrari Formula 1 Team fired their entire pit crew yesterday. The announcement followed Ferrari's decision to take advantage of the Australian Government's Youth Opportunity scheme and employ people from Frankston.

The decision to hire them was brought on by a recent documentary on how unemployed youths from the Frankston area were able to remove a set of wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment, whereas Ferrari's existing crew can only do it in 8 seconds with millions of euros worth of high-tech equipment.

John Howard went on record as saying this was a bold move by the Ferrari management, which demonstrated the international recognition of Australia's employment practices under his Liberal government. As most races are won and lost in the pits, Ferrari now have an advantage over every team.

However, Ferrari may have got more than they bargained for......At the crew's first practice session, the Frankston pit crew successfully changed the tyres in under 6 seconds, and then within 12 seconds they had re-sprayed, re-badged, and sold the vehicle to the McLaren team for a slab of VB, a kilogram of speed and some photos of Montoya's girlfriend in the shower.

i love this joke but only aussies will get it and more than likely they will only get it if they live in victoria (like me )

Can't you read??

im guessing ur talking to coolmac? but is he refering to my joke or to w______kid's deleted post?
fucking toolmac confussing everyone

Gloveguy-------we tend not to cross path always

Check www.engrish.com for more jokes,

fucking toolmac confussing everyone

what'd i do?


well here's a pic joke........


i got a suggesstion though can we have this as a funny story/joke/pranks/just for laugh thread altogether in one. that way we can check this thread if we are feeling blue and get a good laugh?

sorry to revived this thread

sorry to bump this old thread but i guess this would be funny. after the ms.universe pageant the couple of guys in the office came up with this jokes

pageant q and a
Question : Ms America, how do you describe a male organ in your
country?
Ms America : Well, I can say that male organs in America are like
gentlemen.
Question : How can you say so?
Ms America : Because it stands every time it sees a woman.
(Applause! Applause!)


Question : Ms Spain, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms Spain : Male organs in our country are like our very own Bullfight
or Toro(Bull).
Question : How can you say so?
Ms Spain : Because it charges every time it sees an opening.
(Applause! Applause!)


Question : Ms Philippines, how do you describe a male organ in your
country?
Ms Philippines : Well, I can say that male organs in our country are
like gossip or rumors.
Question : How can you say so?
Ms Philippines : Because it passes from mouth to mouth.
(Applause! Applause! Standing Ovation! Applause! Applause!)


Question : Ms Iran, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms Iran : Well, I can say that male organs in Iran are like thieves.
Question : How can you say so?
Ms Iran : Because they like to enter through the back door.
(Applause! Applause! Laughter! Laughter! Applause! Applause!)


Question : Ms India, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms India : Well, I can say the male organs in India are like labourers.
Question : How can you say so?
Ms India : Because it works day and night......
(Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause!)


Question : Ms Malaysia, how do you describe a male organ in your
country?
Ms Malaysia : Well, I can say that Male Organs in Malaysia are like
Proton car.
Question : How can you say so?
Ms Malaysia : Look tough but actually very soft.
(Applause! Applause! Laughter! Laughter! Applause! Applause!)


Question : Ms Singapore,how do you describe a male organ in your
country?
Ms Singapore : Well, I can say that male organ in Singapore is very
Kiasu (Afraid to lose).
Question : How can you say so?
Ms Singapore : It always wants to rush in quick and leave 15 minutes
before the show is over.
(Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause!)

Why did the Filipino one get a standing ovation? Anyways, I forgot this rubbish existed... now you've ruined Monday's and Wednesdays.

Jae you're really a racer you are fast

I'm offended I didn't get a shootout, or a shoutout

(even I havent gotten 2000 posts yet, and I've been her almost 3 years)

and all of the other guys that I came across with and I forgot to encode.well hello there whanks fo a great forum experience.

That bugs me. Stop "whanking" yourself while posting.
I look at the keyboard and the letters W and T are far apart for a typo to happen. Unless CoolMac has fat fingers or a really small keyboard.
EDIT: I didn't realize that this thread is old.