The Laugh It Up Thread

[shadowgrin]

^ Sims criminals are smart and economical, why bother with addtional expenses such as bullets.

Everything in that link is hilarious.

Chucklefuck, I like it.
From here on now I'm going to use the word "chucklefuck" when referring to retards in the forums who think they are funny. Myself included.

[iG®]

Hahah, everybody who folows tennis should watch this .

http://youtube.com/watch?v=xYA_7RUSarU

[shadowgrin]

Lutz's review of NBA Live 2000
Bits of it:

The crowd does not look as artificial and flat as last year either. However, a close look reveals that it consists exclusively of lunatics happily clapping and waving and not reacting to the actual gameplay. It's also a bit too repetetive, each moron sitting only about 20 feet away from himself.

I personally find hiphop boring and dull, but I'd guess it's what most basketball fans like to hear. And frankly, I didn't notice that song actually used the English word for "Mutterficker" until I read it in the review by Dave Dial of our host GA Sports. I must have missed it while wondering about the origins of some suspicious moaning sounds somewhere in my room as I was navigating through the Live 2000 menus. Since I couldn't find any sensible explanation for these sounds, I suppose I should see a doctor soon. Early symptoms of schizophrenia, no doubt.

Now we know what happened to Lutz.

Play-by-play commentary is kind of useless, but unlike in previous Live versions you can combine it with the arena announcer. Second commentator Reggie Theus apparently had a plane to catch when he was in Vancouver to have his voice recorded. At least he doesn't say "motherfucker".

In NBA Live 2000, Malone is now the Jazz' go-to guy and I-verson and Me-bury fire away like a Deer Hunter player with a nervous breakdown.

One of the best new features of the game is that the greatest player ever is finally in the game. And this time not just in our roster patches, but officially endorsed by EA; not with some standard face, but with a cyberface that looks as imposing as the real man - headband and all. It's sad he didn't live to see it.

Michael Jordan is in the game as well, and I hope his name and pictures that are all over the Live 2000 box sell enough copies of the game to make up for his salary.

Nice subtle Wilt reference, I thought it was Jordan he was referring at first until that.

1 on 1 mode is named after Michael Jordan, but this does not mean you have to play with or against Jordan (although it is funny to see how Jordan slams the ball on the floor in frustration after you beat him). Instead, we learn that when you spend a lot of money for the rights to use a certain name, you apparently have to use this name a lot. Let's hope that after a few years and target group studies, this will not become "Kobe Bryant 1 on 1". Instead, I am waiting for "Stockalone 2 on 2", the "Vince Carter Slam Dunk Contest" or the "Shaquille O'Neal Free Throw Practice".

The game includes a database of 228 different injuries, each with a different likelihood of occurance, recovery times and skills (ratings) they affect. But since EA not only employs painstaking developers, but also talented physicians, none of these injuries last longer than 60 days. Season- or even career-threatening injuries, let alone suspensions for drug abuse, would make franchise mode even more interesting

The game starts with a video that actually looks very decent. Shots of Kevin Garnett on a playground that turns into an NBA court. Only I wish the game wouldn't start with that video every time I load it. While entertaining to watch once, it just makes my ESC key wear down faster than Oliver Miller's seat on the Phoenix Suns' team jet

[J@3]

That's awesome I miss those kind of reviews.

[benji]

- very important secret message below with a lot of !s AND EVEN SOME CAPS LOCKS

Making new patches less frequently would not help, BTW, because there's still the same amount of work to do. Anyway, maybe I'll make up my mind and just update the rosters for some baseball game for a year and a half and then return. Or return for another year if they pay me $30 million.

Any resemblance to Suns forwards, Spurs centers or unsuccessful baseball players dead or living is purely coincidental and not at all meant to violate any fucking rights.

Q:Don't you know how to spell 'Vancouver'?
A:Well, no, it wasn't on Wheel of Fortune yet, so how should I know...

Q:Some numbers for "ejections" are wrong.
A:My stats sources don't count erections, erm, ejections, so I guessed.

Q:What do you get if you multiply 6 by 9?
A:42.

Q:Is there a life after death?
A:No.

Q:Is there life on Mars?
A:I think Elvis Presley lives there. But don't tell anyone, it's a secret.

Q:How do you pronounce 'Raymond Luxury Yacht'?
A:'Throatwobbler Mangrove'.

Q:Who is Willi Wienke?
A:Does it ring a bell when I say 'Ja...! Schlecht! Unzureichend! Sechs!'? No?

Q:Is this patch legal?
A:I don't know and I don't care. Legal/illegal/scheissegal.

Q:What does 'scheissegal' mean?
A:Check out your favorite English/Hungarian phrasebook.

Q:Can you make the backboards shatter/the players fight?
A:Yeah, sure, and I can make beer out of water (or was that whiskey?).

Q:How do I run your patch with Windows 95?
A:I think you should type something like "deltree windoze".

Q:Oh no! It said, my hard disk is corrupted. My dad's gonna kill me.
A:That was only a joke.

Q:Who is Roy Black?
A:No, no, ask: Who WAS Roy Black? Tsshehheh!

Q:Who is Bill Gates?
A:BLASPHEMY!!! How dare you ask?

For stuff related to NBA-Ed, ask Jose de Leon (ug930009@omega.scs.carleton.ca)
Jose also accepts gifts, especially nudes. If they have big tits, though, send them to me instead. (Due to the increasing number of huge binaries I've been receiving lately, I'd like to point out that this was originally meant to be a joke. Duh.)

Complaints about DOS and Windoze go to billg@microsoft.com. (or was that bgates@microsoft.com ?)
Bill also accepts questions on how to install Linux.
Forward all messages containing bad language to president@whitehouse.gov
Also use this address as return address whenever posting something rude.
Send general complaints about life to god@heaven.com.

And now, enjoy the game.
Cheers,
Lutz.

[Drex]

One of the game's funniest features in the lack of error messages, which leads to debugging, patchmaker style:

STEP 1: Create a patch and check if it works

STEP 2: Watch the game exit to Windoze (the only thing that can happen fast with these menus)

STEP 3: Bang head on keyboard repeatedly

STEP 4: Take a wild guess why the game crashed and fix a possible cause of the problem

STEP 5: Wait a minute until the game has re-loaded while pressing various buttons to skip various loading screens and videos.

STEP 6: See Step 2

(HINT: Experienced patchmakers combine steps 3 and 5 to save time)

LOL, I never patched but that sounds awesome

[shadowgrin]

http://nbalivevintage.nba-live.com/nbal ... eview-lutz

Lutz review of NBA Live 99 manages to be funny and serious at the same time.

On third sight, I noticed more bugs and gameplay flaws than Dennis Rodman has silly hats

I never, ever play with sound. How would I supposed to hear the TV anymore if some Duke Nukem wannabe said "Count it, baby" all the time

EA improved the gameplay a lot, and if they had delayed the release until they'd actually finished everything, it could have been really impressive

That sort of thing still happens. Is Lutz a prophet or what.

Watching a CPU player follow a rebound out of bounds and being called for a foul, although I was miles away is ridiculous, but realistic if the player who went for the rebound was Michael jordon

Live 99 manages to be both the best and the buggiest game of the series.

[shadowgrin]

[shadowgrin]

[McDwyane]

Haha,nice one shadowgrin.I'm glad you posted on this thread again.

[Patr1ck]

Comedy Central's joke of the day for the past three days.

Two men are on opposite sides of the earth. One is walking a tightrope. The other is getting a blowjob by a 90-year-old woman.

Both get the exact same thought at the exact same time.

"Don't look down."

A brunette is walking through the country, when she finds a bottle. She rubs it and, you guessed it, a genie appears.

The genie says, "You are allowed three wishes. But, I must warn you, anything you get, all the blondes in the world get twice as much."

The woman says, "Okay. Give me a nice house."

The genie replies, "You now have one nice house and all the blondes in the world have two."

The the lady says, "Give me a gorgeous man."

The genie replies, "You now have one gorgeous man, while all the blondes have two."

The lady says, "For my last wish, Genie, see that stick over there? Beat me half to death with it."

Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!"

His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, rub my hands on my wife's butt and say, 'How about a blow job?'...and she's always sound asleep!"

The Natural



Pecking Order

[McDwyane]

John is about to jump from the 42nd floor of a building.(eyes are closed)

John:Lord,before i jump just please give me a sign!!!Pls!
He opened his eyes and he saw a nike billboard.Text says "Just do It"

[Its_asdf]

That dog and cat picture would make a pretty good lolcat picture.

[shadowgrin]

^ agree. I prefer it with the caption of "owned".

[McDwyane]

[[Q]]

WAT

[Fenix]

. Degree of that guy's retardation is trully spectatular.

[JT_55]

What? Was that girl transsexual?

[benji]

Nothing says it was a girl.

[JT_55]

I don't know if you have, but I have never seen a guy with a username like "Sweetangel13."

EDIT: Oh wait, now I get the joke. Never mind.

[ixcuincle]

Wish I could play some NBA LIVE 08 on this thing

The Gamerator has been the first successful technology to combine our two favorite pastimes: video games and binge drinking. Because while it initially appears to be a drool-worthy 24-inch flat screen MAME arcade cabinet with 180 preloaded titles, the Gamerator's alter ego is that of a kegerator, keeping a pony keg chilled and on tap for your enjoyment at all times. Sounds like heaven? That's not all, my friends! The Gamerator can also be customized to fit your console of choice or even a fully functional PC. Browse the web with a beer, and when you need a break in the chugging, just store your glass in one of the two built-in cupholders. You know, just like when you're cruising the strip in the minivan.
Remember the old days when you were stuffing more quarters into machines before time ran out? Well this is the new, over 21 and way more awesome version—though no one can predict just how many glasses will fall victim to "slip and shatter" as we try to booze up before putting the finishing whoop ass on M. Bison. And the $2,000 pricetag really isn't that bad when you consider...uhh...yeah, it's a bit pricey, even for a MAME cabinet. But we're sure it's worth every penny.

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More entertaining pictures

[Cartar]

Stephen Ireland

Because taking off the shirt after goal is punishable, he celebrated the goal with pants down.

[Cartar]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_FHBDSH ... re=related - Worst dunks at NBA dunk contests
@ Armstrong
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cY_svRLo ... re=related top 10 bloopers from 2006

[Dramacydal]

Best laugh I had in months (yeah I know my life just ain't that funny).

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/53892/

[ixcuincle]