I give up....

[Jing]

... just fuckin move.

[Ruff Ryder]

... just fuckin move.

It's not that easy to just get up and go.

[Laxation]

Grow up and stop bitching

Ive got no respect for people who commit suicide, or even contemplate it. None at all.

[The X]

I'm sorry to hear what happenned....it'll inevitably leave a stamp on your life....I just hope you take it in a positive way....whilst you might think what's God doing, the thing that really stuck out to me was that I think your old man was watching out for you....with such a close encounter, who knows, anything's possible....it's better to look at it that way, than the negative way....I reckon that once you & your friend are recovered, go back to the scene & exorcise your demons....once done, you have no need to go back there....I suggest if you're looking at playing bball in future, go to your local YMCA or somewhere more safe....you might want to look at getting out of the area in future....whilst others will say for you, I reckon a better motivation is 'do you really want your kids growing up in such a hostile environment?' Bush & every other politician will do nothing about the situation over there, so it's best to remove yourself from it....

sorry if I've said something that someone else said, didn't really read what anyone else said....

but damn, I really think your old man was watching over you....use that strength.....peace man

[Stevesanity]

Jackal, go fuck yourself, this kid's friend was shot & you're rambling on about how society sucks and all that bullshit?

Fag.

what the fuck is going on?

[Jackal]

Nothing, I'm just tired off that motherfucker roaming around the place, being all tough and shit. It's sickening, seriously J, how about you go jack off a horse.

Although the sick son of a bitch that you are, you'd probably enjoy it.

[bullsfan009]

GOAT- what happened to you has never happened to me or anyone I know, so I can't relate there. But you have to realize that there are people who have endured much worse things and people who have cake-walked through life, and among BOTH types of people you have some who carry a positive outlook in life and those who carry a negative one.

It's your choice, man. Think about it- if you survive to adulthood with all the experiences that you have had, and the more bad ones that will surely come, you're going to be so wise & so strong that you'll be able to help not only yourself but soooo many other people. Better than anyone else could do, especially better than me working in my library job in a Chicago suburb. But's that's ONLY if you survive it all with a good attitude, a positive outlook, and a healthy yet fierce level of competitiveness.

To make it, you're going to need a pillar of strength that's going to be unbreakable, unshakeable. This is where God comes in, for myself at least, and for many, many, many other people. You said, "I'm now almost certain there is no God" - why? PM me, or we can talk right here, it doesn't matter. I believe it to my bones that God exists, and so have everyone from billions of so-called "peasants" and "bums" to some of the biggest scientists ever: Issac Newton, Albert Einstein, Pascal, and Stephen Hawking.

Pascal said this: "There is a God-shaped vaccum in the heart of every man, which cannot be satisfied by any created thing, but only by the Creator, made known by His Son, Jesus Christ."

God by definition is good. But obviously that doesn't mean that bad things don't happen. We all have free will on earth, and as long as people (all people, religious too) decide to sweep God under the rug or straight flush 'em down the toilet, there's going to be sin, and there's going to be suffering. But God is the ultimate strength & support to encounter it all with, thankfully. Here's a really comforting passage from the Bible:

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

If you look hard you'll always find good, no matter how much crap you're going through.

Just believe that you're going to make it through, GOAT, you'll be fine, man. Martin Luther King had just about every crime of hatred invented done to him, but he just said, "I don't know what the future holds, but I do know who holds the future!"

hang in there my brother- trouble don't last always

[Jackal]

Nothing, I'm just tired off that motherfucker roaming around the place, being all tough and shit.

What the fuck are you on about? Where was I acting tough? If you have a problem with me being on the forums, take it to the administrator. (Andrew, not CK.)

It's sickening, seriously J, how about you go jack off a horse.

You talk about me being sickening and then advise me to go jack off a horse? What the fuck is wrong with you? Bitch.

Although the sick son of a bitch that you are, you'd probably enjoy it.

Stop acting as if you know me, because you don't. And yeah, what if I do enjoy it? It's more sexually related than any kind of thing you'll ever experience.

[peaches]

(Andrew, not CK.)

LMAO, wow Jackal(s) step of the haterade, no need to flame Jackal.

[Nick]

I guess Jackal is trying to support an addiction?

[cyanide]

@ Jackal

GOAT: I think going through another experience like you did just induced another traumatic experience (re: your father), so you really need support at this time in your life, with your family and peers. Be thankful that your friend is still alive. It's not God or whatever that's causing all the crap going in your life, but chance and circumstance. If I remember correctly, you're in a location with a high crime rate, then that kinda stuff would happen on an occasional basis.

Quitting is not an option, though.

[BIG GREEN]

I think Jackal is flaming himself.

[Jackal]

What the fuck are you on about? Where was I acting tough?

You always act tough on the forums, you go around doing as if you don't really give a shit about anyone but you're one scared ass motherfucker. Assmuncher.

If you have a problem with me being on the forums, take it to the administrator. (Andrew, not CK.)

Oh grow the fuck up already, na nee na nee boo boo, you don't like me well go cry to mommy. Shut the fuck up bitch, I can handle you all on my own.

Stop acting as if you know me, because you don't. And yeah, what if I do enjoy it? It's more sexually related than any kind of thing you'll ever experience.

You sound like a pregnant teen mother. Whine whine whine. Don't worry about my sexual life, atleast I don't have to resort to jacking off a horse to get my pleasures.

Peachy, he deserves it, he can take it like the bitch that he is, no need to stick up for him.

[Donatello]

GOAT- Shit like this is the meaning of faith- if you truly have faith in your god you should understand.

Not flaming. I don't even know what I believe in.


But, on a different note, that really sucks that it happened to you man. Much love, and I know things'll look up- shit just happens sometimes.

I kind of second what everyone else has said here.... maybe talk to your family seriously about that you aren't comfortable living in this kind of situation anymore. Maybe nothing can be done immediately, but I'm sure it would at least help to talk to them about it.

/non-gay hug

[Ruff Ryder]

Can we ban Jackal for flaming?

[Jackal]

Well he started it.

[Bad Goodboy]

GOAT, all i can say is you have to be strong. Never be a quitter. The things being said by some people out here like The Black Death, Stevesanity, bullsfan009, and some other "good souls" (though their screen names sound wickedl), are all true.

I'm a bad man, evil, like i don't fucking care about the worthless things around me. Shit, i've even committed crimes and got away from it. But that was past. I still can't forgive myself. I know there is God and i'm afraid of Him. (He's the Only One i'm afraid of). Damn still I'm evil, but i'm trying to change... i have to and it's a must because as of now Hell is still my fucking life. But I don't want you to be like me or end up like me coz i think you have a future.

I'm not good at making advices but like the old folks said "there's always light at the end of the tunnel". Just GO on. Think about your life, your loved ones, your family and your true friends...you still have them. You have a purpose in life that's why God keeps you and Darrell both alive.

Be good. God bless.

[Scotty]

sorry bout this man, hope you get through this tough time with/without God, hope your mate recovers

[bullsfan009]

Bad Goodboy- great post man, don't let the demons of your past keep you down. EVERYBODY, believing in God or not, has done dirty & rotten things that they don't want to tell anyone else about. Including me. But part of what God does is to free you from all the crap. That's what GRACE is for

Here's some songs that are great IMO relating to all this:

CD= "H.O.G. Life", artist= Bingo, song= "No More Secrets"
CD= "Are We There Yet?", artist= John Reuben, songs= "Identify" and "X-Ray"

[shadowgrin]

As what Jae and The Black Death posted, don't blame God.
People kill people.
It starts with ourself if we want change to happen in our lives or not.
Be thankful that your friend survived and you didn't got shot.
Don't give in to suicide. Just imagine it this way:
You're watching your favorite basketball team having a good game, scores are real close and you're enjoying the game. Suddenly the game ends abruptly for no apparent reason. Will that piss you off? Leaving the arena because of an inconclusive game?
I would be pissed if my life ended for no apparent reason, suicide is like that, IMO.

Suicide also entered my mind in parts of my life but I imagined suicide as reading a book with the last page/ending ripped off. I always get furious when I'm reading a book and the ending page is gone! I thought of myself as if I was reading my life story, I would be angry with myself if it didn't have an ending just because I commited suicide.

Just keep your hopes up and do something with your life.
The moment you lose purpose in life is the moment you die.
Don't be zombie and live out the rest of your life without a purpose to achieve.

[bullsfan009]

great advice TPFKAS [Shadowgrin]

[Bang]

Blame the government for legalizing guns.
Blame the government for trapping minorities in a cycle of poverty.
Blame them and use this as an inspiration to change the government so that something like this doesn't happen again. I'm not saying right now, but in the future. You have a lot of life ahead of you. It's impossible to change the government quickly, but you can affect it little by little. You can make a difference by giving back to society, by making sure more people get educated, and by making sure more people have an opportunity to succeed.
The key is to become rich no matter what and with that money use it to change society.