I hate Dane Cook, he's a fucking hack. Listen to enough Seinfeld, Carlin, Cosby, etc and you'll recognize most jokes pretty quickly. Emo Phillips I gave a shot, but I can't stand how he talks like a retard.
My favourite is Lewis Black. You probably know him from the Daily Show with Jon Stewart, but his stand up is so great.
We have fossils... We win!
-Lewis Black, on creationism
Lewis Black: These guys believe that a 350 billion dollar tax cut will stimulate the economy, and they are full of shit. Because they don't know what stimulates the economy. The economy goes up, it goes down, it goes up, it goes down, it goes up, it goes down, nobody knows why the fuck it happens. And I know this because I took economics, and I'd explain it to yea'... but I flunked that course. Not my fault. They taught it at 8 o'clock in the morning. And there is absolute nothing that you can learn out of one bloodshot eye.
We (Americans) are the only nation that tells the rest of the world on a nearly constant basis, that we are the greatest country on earth. And that...is a little fuckin' obnoxious. And I know it's obnoxious, because if you were in an office, and there was someone who came in every day and said, "I'm the greatest fucker here, and you snivelling shits would die without me...hahahah!!" I guarentee by the end of the week you would of killed him...and eaten him...just to try to posess his power."
I might see if I can find a few clips of him I saw on a site one time, they were hilarious.
