The Laugh It Up Thread

[shadowgrin]

"Frosting!"
"Brush your teeth!"



A great film with great spoofs.

[Patr1ck]

9 Things Suckers Do For Women That F*ck It Up For The Rest Of Us

1. Discussing feelings
To reiterate my past comments, feelings are fucking stupid. Every time some woman wants me to discuss how I feel about some shit, I think about the asshole who gave her the wrong impression that men actually do that type of shite. Then I think of how much I would like to kick his ass.

2. Telling women how beautiful they are
I don’t give a fuck if she is Mother Teresa with Pam Anderson's body. Stop giving these bitches any more of a reason to be stuck-up. They already have the pussy. They don’t need anymore ammo.

3. Talking bad on other men
Traitor scum should be taken out and shot. What most guys fail to realize is that for every woman that talks shit to you about another dude, there are fifty more that are talking shit about you. Remember the team, guys, remember the team.

4. Getting married
Especially to girls under 25. Stop being a ball hog. Let the next bloke have his go at it as well. In kindergarten we were taught to share for a reason. The reason was so everyone could get some pussy.

5. Giving women money
Some of us like to use our money on the important things, like graphics cards and game consoles. When we inherit one of these high maintenance bitches, our gaming skills suffer. That is not cool.

6. Cuddling
“But my ex boyfriend used to cuddle with me all night!” I’m sure he did, and I’m also sure he was either not happy about it or he really liked cock. Fuck the dumb shit, there are video games to be beaten and internet flame wars to be won.

7. Letting a woman get into your “man stuff”
We have all seen the asshole that brings his girl out with the guys to the strip club. That is like bringing a commie spy to the democratic convention. Within minutes of leaving, she will be on the phone and your own girl will know every little detail. Take this fuck out to the parking lot and beat him accordingly.

8. Letting a woman tell you what you “think”
“Well, we feel that…” Fuck that. Form an opinion on your own. Stick to your guns. Speak for yourself. Check between your legs. Do you have balls? Then act like you do.

9. Actually listening
Come on, man. If you are one of these guys, stop this shit right now. Either that or embrace your gayness. You’re making them expect more than most men are willing or able to give. All you really need to do is remember keywords. Everything else is just going too far.

[[Q]]

I don't know what's funnier, the fact that James "Flight" White got playing time from Popovich or Robert Horry's reason for why he DNP.

[J@3]

... to start with I thought that was just a shit attempt at a funny photoshop, but that's actually what it says on the Yahoo boxscore.

[TomCat]

LOL!!! DNP - OLD AGE!!

[Tuomas]

Haha, now that's funny... I wonder if MJ had that when he played on the Wizards.

[---]

Thats some funny shit.

[[Q]]

Haha, now that's funny... I wonder if MJ had that when he played on the Wizards.

I looked to see if there were any other funny ones from today but there were none. Interesting that Bobby Sura got DNP for "knee/back injury". it should be "DNP- RETIRE NOW".

[TomCat]

Qballer, lol good call. bob sura is useless.

[eisfeld]

*lol* awesome - Brent Barry is suspected to be behind the Old Age! comment.

[Indy]

Al Harrington and his 1 point.

[c0nr4d]

@ the 300 g-rated spoof, funny stuff

[bigh0rt]

Why parents drink


A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to "Dad." With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.

Dear Dad:

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am.

But it's not only the passion... Dad, she's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it.

Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.


Love,
Your son John




P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. Just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than a report card. That's in my center desk drawer. I love you. Call me when it's safe to come home.

[[Q]]

Al Harrington and his 1 point.

wtf i missed that. did he get hurt?

[Indy]

Al Harrington and his 1 point.

wtf i missed that. did he get hurt?

I don't know, he did only play 18 minutes, but its quite possible he pulled one of his classic games where you barely notice that he's on the floor. He can bring absolutely nothing to the game sometimes, and be completely lost. He'd be a top notch player in this league right now if not for his knee surgery in his first stint with the Pacers.

[TomCat]

bigh0rt, lol that letter is pretty funny

[bigh0rt]

Satan is watching...

[Tuomas]

Haha, good one someone came up with a good idea on that pic.

[bigh0rt]

After their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough as they could not afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin didn't want to have any more children. The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem but that it was expensive. "A less costly alternative," said the doctor, "is to go home, get a cherry bomb, light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to your ear and count to 10"

The Alabamian said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest tool in the shed, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me."

"Trust me," said the doctor.

So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count...
"1"
"2"
"3"
"4"
"5"
At which point he paused, placed the beer can between his leg and resumed counting on his other hand.

[JaoSming]

http://www.safenow.org/

Only the coolest irradiated citizens will be allowed into the 'underground' rave in the shelter.

[JaoSming]

Top 10 women drivers of the year

[[Q]]

so one big flaw in wikipedia is that anyone can write what they want.

check out Cuttino Mobley's page:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cuttino_Mobley

[shadowgrin]

Mobley was heralded as the NBA's softest player after he said he could not live without Steve Francis by hsi side. He has also made the NBA all ugly team for 6 years running. Nobody has ever said a good word about Mobley.

Did you do that Qballer?

[[Q]]

lol my friend who is a die-hard lakers fan did that after the game tonight.
it was hilarious i was watching most of the game and the lakers got raped by the clippers.
obviously he did not take it too well.

[3.14159]

My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year when we decided
to get married. My parents helped us in every way, and my friends
encouraged me. My girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one
thing bothering me.

That one thing was her younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight
miniskirts, and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when
near me, and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day little sister calls and asked me to come over to check the
wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to
me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires
for me that she could not overcome and did not really want to
overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once
before I got married and committed my life to her sister.

I was in total shock and could not say a word.

She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go
ahead with it just come up and get me."

I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the
stairs. When she reached the top, she pulled down her panties and
threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then
turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and
stepped out of the house and walked straight toward my car.

My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes,
he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our
little test. We could not ask for a better man for our daughter.
Welcome to the family!"

The moral of this story is.....

Always keep your condoms in your car