Nastiest bruises

Well this thread is about your worst bruises so let me go first.

I got shouldered in the face while playing pick-up basketball. I was going for a loose ball and someone was running towards it full speed, so his shoulder collided with the right side of my face. I literally knocked out cold after that hit for god knows how long. I remember waking up on the floor and I got up and ran to the bathroom. My face was shit-swollen, and I had a black eye. Hit me right next to my eye around the cheek, that area looked disgusting. At first it was swollen but after a week it just turned purple.

My dick had the nastiest bruises after I finished my 3 hour masturbation marathon

This thread has nowhere to go but down

I got a bruise on my right buttock when someone shot me with a paintball gun from point-blank range.

I went sledging with my school, like 1. - 6. class I think. It was few years ago. So, I borrowed a snowboard from someone, drew down the hill, took the board of and I was giving it back. Then, a stupid little kid from like first class or something like that drew in me. He's cockeyed, a really stupid guy. So, he drove right to my legs, I fell on my neck or some place, well I don't remember where I fell, but soon I woke up, really funny to have LOTS of people around you watching your face, and you're like " What the f ? " I was quite alright, just a small headache, and I didn't remember how the hell he drove into me, so I was taken to the hospital. I mean, I was so damn alright and they took me there. Atleast I could watch Lost from the TV that had like half of a channel. Nothing much, but a quite cool experience.

I had the bright idea of trying to make a screen on a much taller/heavier guy, he didn't see me coming on his right side and pretty much knocked me out, breaking my glasses in the process. I had a really bad headache for several days after that, so I actually had to pass an MRI to make sure there was no internal damage.

this thread fails for not having any pics yet

I got a pic on my friends phone of what happened, its a bad pic cause the swelling went down

I got a pic of what happened to me on my phone too, unfortunately the swelling never went down

I can't remember any particularly bad bruises except for those that accompanied some of my more painful ankle sprains. They were still a sight to behold though.

Surely it would be easier to just get everyone to measure their penis' with a ruler and tell us all who's biggest.

And I'm with sauru - pics or it didnt happen

I don't really want to see a pic of a bruised dick.

I remember when i was 15 in a practice i went for a rebound and a partner tried to hit the ball but hit me with 3 or 4 fingers in my left eye

I had it a bit black but the entire eye was red... it was pretty shocking too see my eye

I stopped 3 weeks and resumed training

i had a descent bruise yesterday from a elbow to the chin playing basketball. man didnt hurt at the moment at all but in the locker room my head was starting to feel really heavy.

I got a bruise on my fingers for spamming the NLSC.