Sometimes do you feel dumb?

My grandpa sent me this.

Sometimes do you feel dumb?

I can make you feel better.

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever." --Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff" --Mariah Carey

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life…” --Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,“ --Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,“ --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.

"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are
the president,“ --Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.

"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,“ --A congressional candidate in Texas.

"I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them.
There were great numbers of
people who needed new land, and the Indians were selfishly trying to
keep it for themselves.“ --John Wayne

"Half this game is ninety percent mental." --Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.“ -- Al Gore, (then) Vice President of the USA

"It's no exaggeration to say that the undecided could go one way or another” --George Bush, US President

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure.“ --Bill Clinton, Former US President

"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away.
May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your
circumstances." --Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as
they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record." --Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman

Feeling Smarter Already?

oh my god man, some of those people are simpily brainless.
great stuff. props to your grandpa then

LOL, I've seen that one many times, but still makes me laugh everytime I see it.

Yeah...that was good. My grandpa can't use a computer...

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure.“ --Bill Clinton, Former US President

lol Bill your Americas greatest prez evah.

That one was actually Bush. No surprise there.

and I'm pretty sure the Al Gore quote was also dubya..

No, that was Dan Quyale.

that sounds about right..

Most famous was his correcting a student's spelling of potato as potatoe at an elementary school spelling bee in Trenton, New Jersey on June 15, 1992. Quayle was allegedly relying on a spelling-bee card on which the word had been misspelled by the teacher

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff" --Mariah Carey

retard

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,“ --Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.

LMAO

Good stuff CG. Thanks to Gramps

read it before. yeah, pretty stupid.

"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,“ --A congressional candidate in Texas.

That statement doesn't seem dumb, the candidate was just honest.

on that Al Gore one. That was dumb.

I've seen some of these already, always a good read. Since the Mariah Carey example was taken already, I'm going to use this 2nd most dumbass quote:

"I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them.
There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves.“ --John Wayne

Tough, Indy

LOL..#1 was FUNNY!!

rofl, I'm not sure how much less intelligent you can get than that Mariah Carey quote.

My grandpa sent me this.

"Half this game is ninety percent mental." --Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

i dont know why but that is the funniest one, hehe stupid danny ozark