King of the Hill (forum game, not propane)

Haven't seen this done here, let's see what happens

Rules:
1.) No double posting
2.) You must refer to the most current previous post
3.)Jokes are fine, pure flaming isnt
4.) ??????
5.) Profit

(take the hill from the previous poster, Good luck. Be creative)

I see a hill in the distance and quickly park a team of TF2 snipers on the summit, claiming it for my own.

Thanks to V.A.T.S and Grim Reaper's Sprint, I take down that team of TF2 snipers and claim the hill in the name of the Forum Dweller.

TF2 Spy suddenly appears. Back stabs all around.
Stands alone on the hill. Taunting.

Rather than using video game characters who easily die I unplug the computer hosting the video games. The spy disappears and i reclaim the hill!

Green Lantern answers my call for help.
We stand on the hill.
Victorious.

I walk up the hill to congratulate shadowgrin. I congratulate him and crack a few jokes to ease the tension of war just ended. I approach him for a handshake and the moment he pulls out his arm to reach my hand, I judo chop him on the jaw. Being caught off guard, he collapses to the ground instantly, with head first. I gently push him down the hill and the hill becomes rightfully mine.

I coach shadow and motivate him to climb back up by telling him if he gets to the top of the hill I'll let him dance on my grave.

Before Shadow can crawl back up from benji's words of wisdom, I tie his arms and legs to a tree like jean claude van damme in bloodsport. I tried to find an image but could not. Lets say its not comfortable.

I victoriously reclaim the hill!

Suddenly, a wild strawberry comes up and kicks Oz to the back of the head, he now takes the hill. BUT WAIT! Cruzerr throws golf-balls at him and does a handstand on the hill, claming it his.

I am on my way to claim the hill back. I spot a man tied up to the tree. It's shadowgrin. I free him and he offers me a handshake. The moment I reach out for his hand, he tries to judo chop me. I block it and headbutt him in the nose. He nose is bleeding and he starts crying like a little girl. I gently pat him on the back and head out to the hill.

I convince everyone on the hill to leave and the hill is once again, is my home. Amen.

I see people coming down a hill disappointed, and I climb to the top to see what's happened. I see NovU at the top of the hill saying his prayers and when he sees me, he tries to judo chop me but I block it. I chokeslam him off the top of the hill and claim it as my own. I also call my psyduck minions to help me defend the hill that is rightfully mine.

Crouching to avoid being detected, I ascend an incline. I near the peak and notice a car part and some quacking birds..

FUS DO RAH!!

The hill is mine.

I come along late and notice that everybody is fighting over a small hill when there is a bigger one in the distance, with beer and lots of beautiful women. I easily climb the larger hill and claim it by having tit-sex with many beautiful women until the cows come home. After the cows come home i begin to have teat-sex. Heaven is mine.

I am on my way to claim the hill back as a rightful owner. On the way, I spot a guy who looks heavily dosed with cracks. It's Nick. He keeps mumbling something along the lines of 'tit-sex' and 'beer'. I give him couple good judo chops on his forehead to wake him up and tell him to stay in school.

Up on the hill, there is Pdub. As soon as he sees me, he just runs away. Smart guy. He knew he stood no chance. The true king of the hill is back and people of the hill have never been happier. Amen.

What NovU thinks are happy people, are actually people that are excited to see my Psyduck minions in action. They all pick him up amongst themselves and throw him off the hill where he hits the tree that shadowgrin was tied to earlier. I easily make my way back up the hill, planting another flag up there. I bring all the beautiful women from Nick's fake hill and have sex with the select few that chose not to have sex with Nick. The rest were left to rot on the other hill.

(Not trying to be an asshole by dethroning you twice in a row NovU, I just happened to be the one to post after you. )

Your Psyducks are interested in my Pikachu's more than anything. And those women that you left rotting on the hill? shadowgrin picked them up and took them home