Worst Essays Ever

[Ruff Ryder]

I was browsing OS' forums and found these essays. They are funny as they are stupid. Youl be laughing before you finish the first line. I wont comment or quote to ruin the fun.

[Dramacydal]

lmao

"to somewhere else, namely to other places"

simply hilarious

[Bill Russell]

The child is more than a child. It really isn't a child at all.

WTF is that...

[Null17]

omfg, that was hilarious. they even put the name of the guy in. like all things spanish, it is dangerous? wtf is that? hell, im not spanish anyway

really hilarious

[Andreas Dahl]

Lol -
"Like all things spanish, it is dangerous. It kills people and burns down trees. This child is more than a child. It realy isn't a child at all. It's a storm. A deadly storm that kills people and burns down trees."
Lol. I can't even quote special parts cuz their all funny as hell.

Great find man
"There is no escape"

[Ruff Ryder]

I found some analogies written in High School Essays. They are bad.

From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Jeopardy" comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30.

The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't

The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.

They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon.

He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree

McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled with vegetable soup

His thought tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

[EGarrett]

That essay seems like a fake...well...either a fake or a kid who was purposefully trying to be funny.

Now...I could show you some essays from people who were legitimately trying that are so horrible you would wet your pants laughing. I think I might...

Oh...and those analogies are f'ing hilarious...especially the one about the boat in the water.

[Andreas Dahl]

He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

Very nice one

The essay does seem a little odd.
Especially the teachers handwriting...
It isn't the best ever...

[EGarrett]

And a teacher wouldn't say "what the heck are you talking about?"

[Colin]

My Science teacher has handwriting a lot like that. The rambling style reminds me of an episode of South Park, where they find out Earth is just a reality TV show in space. There's a scientist who will have a problem and then pick a random word in the sentence someone just said andcome up with a solution. He'd say somehting like "Popcorn, corn is popped in a microwave, microwaves are made at a factory, the factory is owned by rich people, rich people live in expensive houses, houses that have satellite dishes, that's it! We broadcast our signal with a satellite dish" It's hilarious.