KKK demands removal of chocolate from Neapolitan ice cream

LOUISVILLE, KY - Mere weeks after their protest of the PGA's Masters tournament, members of the hate group the Klu Klux Clan have petitioned several local ice cream suppliers this week to remove the flavor chocolate from the popular Neapolitan ice cream. The group states that combining the dark chocolate ice cream with the white vanilla is "against God's will."

"I don't know who done thought that up but I tells you what… he ain't no God fearin' white man," said Elmer Jenkins, KKK member. "Havin' that chocolate right there next to that there white vanilla be's… unnatural and we ain't gonna stand fer it. No sir. We have to keep our flavors separated so they don't be… um, mixin'. This ain't no WB."

Since the early 1920's, Neapolitan flavored ice cream has been a staple of most ice cream producers. The ice cream combines equal amounts of chocolate, vanilla and strawberry.

Over the years the KKK has been active in pushing racial segregation and prompting the white race.

"We've standed idly by… watchin' all quiet like while women get to play golf and them dark people get to do other stuff that only us white's used ta get to do," KKK Grand Dragon Willy Ray Lee said. "Chocolate has no place in the white mans ice cream. Come to think of it, that red stuff don't belong in der either. Our suggestion is that the make the three flavors vanilla, French vanilla and ice milk. No wait, not French vanilla, cus that's got them little black specs in it, don't it. Then it should be vanilla, Freedom vanilla and ice milk. We don't want to flatter then homosexual, pansy, anti-war French homos so we'll take the black out of it and call it Freedom vanilla. That'll show um."

While the movement is gaining speed, most notably in the South, many ice cream makers feel that the protest will fall on deaf ears.

"Seriously, this is the stupidest thing I've ever heard," said John Dryer, creator of Dryer's Ice Cream. "People love chocolate, especially women. If we take out chocolate, chicks wont buy our ice cream. If chicks don't get their chocolate, nobody gets laid. And so help me God, if I don't get my tang, those rednecks will pay. Pay dearly."

Members of the Louisville Kentucky branch of the KKK are scheduling a protest march for next month. The delay is due to Jenkin's prior obligations.

"Oh, I gotta get ta jail for 20 days. Those damn pigs picked me up for runnin' my house the way a man otta. Since when is it illegal to teach yer wife a lesson for sas talkin' and not getting' that beer opened fast enough? I tell you what, if she wasn't 8 month's pregnant with number 7 then I'da really let her have what for," Jenkins said.

http://www.the-scoop-news.com/story_display.php?SID=129

Lmfao! Wow, their amazingly stupid looool. You'd think they'd provide a somewhat logical arguement. And LMFAO at the last paragraph! What idiots!


*grabs semi and checks outside*

yup they are idiots this is the 21st century no1 will listen to them..infact this will just encourage people getting chocolate flavoured ice cream...man whats wrong with those people every race has now got along so idk why they are still doin this...

lol at the 3rd last paragraph :p

Lol, this article's fake, I didn't read the sub-title on the banner. "Online Saterical Magazine. Anyway, it's funny lol.

i figured it was fake pretty much straight away. aren't i smart?

I pretty much figured it was fake half way though. Not even KKK are that stupid.

i didnt figure out it was fake until now yes i am dumb go me

but yea its a funny article

There is no official KKK anymore.

That last paragraph gave it away. I don't think any journalist would actually write dialogue as, "Oh, I gotta get ta jail for 20 days."

That last paragraph gave it away. I don't think any journalist would actually write dialogue as, "Oh, I gotta get ta jail for 20 days."

the last paragraph was supposedly said by the kkk member elmer jenkins... and we know they are hillbillies

"Seriously, this is the stupidest thing I've ever heard," said John Dryer, creator of Dryer's Ice Cream. "People love chocolate, especially women. If we take out chocolate, chicks wont buy our ice cream. If chicks don't get their chocolate, nobody gets laid. And so help me God, if I don't get my tang, those rednecks will pay. Pay dearly."

If you couldn't figure out it was fake after this paragraph, you need to lay off the porn.

yeah, that one gave it away.

LMAO....its obvioulsy fake though...

thats just stupid, no way

RTFT Fitzy, that's all I'm going to say. We've said it's fake about 20 times.

It's obviously a satirical piece from the first paragraph of "quotes". The language and sentiments are too stereotypical and exaggerated which gives it away. That aside it's not a bad piece of a satire since it does neatly line up with the passage in the Bible from which the KKK adopted their intolerant beliefs ("and God separated the light from the darkness").

There is no official KKK anymore.

go to Newport, TN and say that...



at the article...funny stuff

hilarious! Chocolate is the best part

I was about to say this is stupider than the whole Burger King incident but then realised it was fake after reading on and seeing the countless posts of people saying the same thing over and over again. I'm not sure which was funnier the article or the many posts saying something about the article being fake.