35 Rules that men wished women knew

[Ruff Ryder]

I got this from CL, courtesy of theclown1.

1. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Do not ask us. We refuse to answer.

2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.

3. Do not cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then, you are stuck with her.

4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!

5. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to; expect an answer you do not want to hear.

6. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

7. Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks.

8. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

9. Shopping is not a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.

10. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

11. You have enough clothes. You have too many shoes.

12. Crying is blackmail.

13. Your ex-boyfriend is an idiot.

14. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!

15. No, we do not know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

16. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

17. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

18. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

19. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.

20. Check your oil. Please.

21. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

22. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

23. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

24. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.

25. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out. (haha)

26. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done--not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

27. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

28. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

29. Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at. More women should wear Wonderbras and low-cut blouses. We like staring at boobs.

30. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends - like THEIR relationship is SO MUCH better.

31. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like windows default settings. Peach for example is a fruit not a color.Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

32. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

33. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

34. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

35. What the hell is a doily?

[cyanide]

Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.

I don't get why some women complain about that. If we put the toilet seat up, we also put it down when we gotta do number 2. We never complain about the toilet seat being down

Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at. More women should wear Wonderbras and low-cut blouses. We like staring at boobs.

lol, no kidding!

[Drex]

LOL Good one I liked 1, 2, 16, 17, 23, 24, 25, 29 and 31 the most

[Null17]

#14&25 rules

[Cameron]

I like the one about the wonderbra best. I think it also applies when girls wear shirts with words or sentences printed right overtop of the boobs. You try and read it, and they get mad at you for staring!!!

So crazy.

[COOLmac©]

this is a good read.....thanks double R

[-BHZMAFIA-]

lmao i like no.28

[Alcoholic]

SO TRUE!

Especially

11. You have enough clothes. You have too many shoes.

12. Crying is blackmail.

[J@3]

13. Your ex-boyfriend is an idiot.

that's my favourite.

Re: shirts with writing on them, sometimes it's not really a matter of guys just staring and reading. Naomi and I went out once and she had a top on that said "Girl with attitude, deal with it" or something along those lines, every second dickhead we passed would be like "GIRL WITH ATTITUDE HAHA!!!!!!"... I reckon I should've had a shirt on with writing aswell, saying "Fuck Off You Wanker".

[COOLmac©]

all ex-boyfriends are idiots.........
no wait.........i am also an ex boyfriend to my ex girlfriends........now thats a shame

[Tuomas]

25. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out. (haha)

muahaha... great thread good read and so true!

[Fresh8]

love 13!

but i seen something like this already.. in powerpoint form... i was lmao in the computer labs wit my friend...

[Mikki]

good stuff

12. Crying is blackmail.

It's true.

[J@3]

I posted something similar to this at the old NLSC a while ago, one of them was something like "No, your cat is not different. It's just like every other cat"

[T-Comm55]

Wow ! They are really funny

[PiksS]

haha funny stuff and true

[Indy]

hahaha wow this is like my life!!!

my girlfriend always bugs me about 17 and 32!!!

[COOLmac©]

girls are very wierd specimens
but who can live without em?

[[Q]]

wow I like 1, 3, 10, 13, 14, 25, 29, 33, and 34... they are all so true
by the way, is there some sort of link to a web site?

[Ruff Ryder]

wow I like 1, 3, 10, 13, 14, 25, 29, 33, and 34... they are all so true
by the way, is there some sort of link to a web site?

Nope.

[Jackal]

If it's a good joke, it's been posted on the web. Google works wonders.

Rules Men vs. Women.

[[Q]]

thanks Jackal

[Rip32]

28. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
16. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

lol those 2 are sooo true.