by Andrew on Wed May 18, 2016 6:58 pm
The thing is, pretty much no matter who won the lottery, for someone it'd be proof of a conspiracy.
The 76ers win: Part of a deal that involves the league forcing them to hire Colangelo, and fire Hinkie. The lottery is rigged!
The Lakers win: With the Kobe era officially over, the perpetually favoured Lakers get a leg up in rebuilding. The lottery is rigged!
The Celtics win: The Celtics vs. Lakers rivalry is revived, with this helping Boston get back to the top of the East. Lakers then get the second pick to avoid suspicion. The lottery is rigged!
The Pelicans win: Did you know that the league once owned the franchise? They're still helping them out, just like they did with Anthony Davis. The lottery is rigged!
The Bulls win: With a 0.5% chance, are you serious? Favouritism for one of the league's biggest markets. Also, isn't Barack Obama a Bulls fan? The lottery is rigged!
The Nuggets win: The league wanted the Knicks to have the top pick, but forgot that the Nuggets can swap picks with them, and that the Raptors get the lowest pick of the two*. The lottery is rigged!
The Jazz win: Utah has never won the top pick, so the league is trying to force history to be made under Adam Silver's watch. The lottery is rigged!
The Kings win: To really ensure that the team stays in Sacramento, they're given a boost in their rebuilding efforts. The lottery is rigged!
The Timberwolves win: The league is trying to build up Western rivals for the Warriors and Thunder, stacking the Timberwolves with young talent. The lottery is rigged!
The Raptors win: Actually, they couldn't, because they get the lower pick between the Nuggets' and Knicks' picks, and no way Denver gives up the top pick. Nevertheless, the lottery is rigged.
The Suns win: Charles Barkley rags on the Suns, the league hates Charles Barkley, ergo the Suns win the lottery, because it's rigged!
The Bucks win: Because Corymach said they would. Corymach is actually Adam Silver, expressing his First Amendment rights. Say the lottery is rigged, and he'll report you to the FCC.
The Magic win: Disney interferes with the Draft lottery, because they can. More interest in Orlando? Even more visitors to Disney World. All Hail the Great God Mickey! Oh yeah, and the lottery is rigged.
* Because league brass is clever and diabolical enough to rig the lottery, but too dimwitted to remember who owns which picks.