World Peace changes name to Military Industrial Complex
Thu Aug 30, 2012 3:20 pm
World Peace changes name to Military Industrial Complex 
WHAT CAN YOU SAY??!!! LOL AT HIM!!!
Saying that he has a "new, more realistic outlook on the world," Lakers forward Metta World Peace officially filed paperwork today to change his name to Military Industrial Complex.
"I am older and wiser today that I was at 31 when I changed my name to Metta World Peace. I am 32 now," said Complex, who was originally known as Ron Artest. "I no longer have that naive, idealistic viewpoint of the world. True world peace is not realistic. That sounds cold, but it's the truth. There's some ugly shit in the world. All we can do is look out for ourselves. For our own safety and wealth. That's all that matters."
Complex says he now feels foolish to have called himself World Peace.
"It was a sign of weakness," he said. "I can't be weak in a world full of death and war and flagrant fouls."
Complex's Lakers teammates say they welcome the new name.
"Hey, we'd all love world peace," said Kobe Bryant. "But we've got the playoffs coming up. I'd much rather go to battle with Military Industrial Complex than Metta World Peace."
Lakers center Andrew Bynum also announced he is considering changing his name to Ennui.
"All great NBA big men go through an existential crisis at some point during their careers," said Bynum. "It's the explanation for Dwight Howard's behavior and Shaq's rap career. What I am going through is natural."
disregard if there is earlier topic.
WHAT CAN YOU SAY??!!! LOL AT HIM!!!
Saying that he has a "new, more realistic outlook on the world," Lakers forward Metta World Peace officially filed paperwork today to change his name to Military Industrial Complex.
"I am older and wiser today that I was at 31 when I changed my name to Metta World Peace. I am 32 now," said Complex, who was originally known as Ron Artest. "I no longer have that naive, idealistic viewpoint of the world. True world peace is not realistic. That sounds cold, but it's the truth. There's some ugly shit in the world. All we can do is look out for ourselves. For our own safety and wealth. That's all that matters."
Complex says he now feels foolish to have called himself World Peace.
"It was a sign of weakness," he said. "I can't be weak in a world full of death and war and flagrant fouls."
Complex's Lakers teammates say they welcome the new name.
"Hey, we'd all love world peace," said Kobe Bryant. "But we've got the playoffs coming up. I'd much rather go to battle with Military Industrial Complex than Metta World Peace."
Lakers center Andrew Bynum also announced he is considering changing his name to Ennui.
"All great NBA big men go through an existential crisis at some point during their careers," said Bynum. "It's the explanation for Dwight Howard's behavior and Shaq's rap career. What I am going through is natural."
disregard if there is earlier topic.
Last edited by jp10_pogi on Thu Aug 30, 2012 4:57 pm, edited 3 times in total.
Re: World Peace changes name to Military Industrial Complex
Thu Aug 30, 2012 3:26 pm
I can say this is a joke story from CollegeHumor back in April.
Last edited by benji on Thu Aug 30, 2012 3:33 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Re: World Peace changes name to Military Industrial Complex
Thu Aug 30, 2012 3:30 pm
sigh pinoys.
Re: World Peace changes name to Military Industrial Complex
Thu Aug 30, 2012 3:31 pm
No link. Spoilered article. Article contains the phrase 'Lakers center Andrew Bynum'.
Thread fail.
Thread fail.
Re: World Peace changes name to Military Industrial Complex
Thu Aug 30, 2012 4:57 pm
koberulz wrote:No link. Spoilered article. Article contains the phrase 'Lakers center Andrew Bynum'.
Thread fail.
fixed
Re: World Peace changes name to Military Industrial Complex
Fri Aug 31, 2012 2:08 am
Re: World Peace changes name to Military Industrial Complex
Fri Aug 31, 2012 9:26 am
Given that it's a gag article, it doesn't seem likely to provoke a lot of particularly good discussion. Let's move on.