Not too bad for a first effort.
One thing I see right off hand, is you have to add a Face1 and Face2 to the .fsh file, because without this it will crash on anyone playing in a resolution higher than (low) resolution. The only thing you have to watch out for when doing this is the file will blur up some when re-sampling from low to high.
I have not installed the patch because of the resolution thing, but just looking at the file it don't look like the nose and mouth are going to be placed properly. I wrote how i do this in the other thread.
Don't give up; keep at it and you will see how the patches will improve as you go along. We need as many patchers as we can get.
David