Merry Christmas, Lawyer Style

A local llaw firm wanted to extend everyone their kindest...

From us ("hereinafter the wishor") to you ("hereinafter called the wishee"), we would be most grateful if you could please kind accept, such without, implied or implicit, obligation, our best wishes for an environmentally friendly and/or conscious, socially active and/or responsible, politically correct, law abiding, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, which may or may not be practiced within the accepted and/or enjoyable, but not limited to, traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, nut not limited to, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

Wishes for, but not limited to, a financially successful and/or, but not limited to, financially independent, personally fulfilling and medically endorsed recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2007, but with due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures or sects, and having, but not limited to, regard to and/or respect for the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or persuasion, choice of computer platform systems application, not limited to software or operating systems, including auxiliary items such as, but not limited to, Playstation (version 1, 2 or 3 or indeed any other future release), X-box or Nintendo or dietary preference, including, but not limited, to dietary requirements and or preferences, in terms of allergies or diseases of the wishee.

By accepting these wishes you may or may not choose to be bound by the terms such as:

• That these wishes would be subject to further clarification, as requested by the 'wishee' or withdrawal should the wishee prefer this as such, but limited in this event after having duly notifying wishor of such a request.
  
• That these wishes would freely non-transferable or obligation of the wishor provided that no alteration would be made to the original greeting and that the proprietary rights of the wishor are acknowledged by the wishee in the appropriate manner, such to be confirmed in writing.
  
• That these wishes would not imply any promise by the wishor to actually implement any of the wishes, or guarantee any of the results of benefits as intended in the wishes by the wishor.
  
• That these wishes would not be enforceable in certain jurisdictions and/or the restrictions herein may not be binding upon certain wishes in certain jurisdictions and is revocable at the sole discretion of the Wishor, and that such wishes have been provided without liability on the part of the wishor and that that the maximum liability of the wishor would be limited to an amount of USD 0.10 (a dime) in any event.
  
• That these wishes is covering a period limited to one calendar year, after which date no rights or representation made be made by the wishee to the wishor in respect of the wishes to perform, or as reasonably may be expected, the usual application of good tidings.
  
• That the wishor warrants these wishes only for the sole benefit of the wishee, with limited replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish to other being at the explicit sole discretion of the wishor
  
• That any references in these wishes to "the Lord", "Father Christmas", "Our Saviour", or any other festive figures, whether indeed actual or fictitious, dead or alive, shall not imply any endorsement by or from them in respect of these wishes, and all proprietary rights in any referenced third party names and images are hereby acknowledged.
  
• Any reference to any personality in these wishes is purely accidental and not based on truth however similar the resemblance may be.

By accepting these wishes you may or may not choose to be bound by the terms such as:

haha

wow, they really covered themselves on that one.